


Are you Joking?

by Trench_coats_and_denim_jeans



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Ghost Hunter AU, Keith and Lance are obviously in the spot of Shane and Ryan, M/M, Pidge and Keith are my brotp, Pidge runs it all, Sort Of, along with Hunk and Lance, alternating pov, before she drags others in to run it for her, buzzfeed unsolved au, it's been a while since I wrote anything I'm a little rusty, obviously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-03-29 09:44:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 67,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13924530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trench_coats_and_denim_jeans/pseuds/Trench_coats_and_denim_jeans
Summary: Lance and Hunk have always dreamed of venturing the world to hunt for ghosts.Pidge just wants to go to cool historical places.Keith....Keith might just have found the best thing Pidge has ever dragged him into. (Not that he'll admit it)A story of four idiots running around empty old buildings, trying to make it on YouTube.





	1. Pidge Doesn't Do Third Wheel

**Author's Note:**

> I've been in Voltron hell for a while, and now Buzzfeed Unsolved....so....I mean, why not combine them? 
> 
> Idk. I'm rusty so I apologize for....everything.
> 
> Just everything.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Hunk have always dreamed of venturing the world to hunt for ghosts.
> 
> Pidge just wants to go to cool historical places.
> 
> Keith....Keith might just have found the best thing Pidge has ever dragged him into. (Not that he'll admit it)
> 
> A story of four idiots running around empty old buildings, trying to make it on YouTube.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been in Voltron hell for a while, and now Buzzfeed Unsolved....so....I mean, why not combine them?
> 
> Reformatted this chapter because I was waayyy too rusty when I wrote it originally. Gonna be doing this for the first 4 or 5 chapters.

Pidge could never say she’s a cautious person, because, well, she definitely isn't. However, she wouldn’t really consider herself  _ reckless _ , either. In her own words she would say she’s a measured level of impulsive.

Even if her roommate Keith would disagree.

Probably throw in the fact that about ten years ago, when Pidge was seven, she decided to explode a toaster, just to see what it would look like.

In her defense, she was seven and it was  _ fucking awesome _ . Also, being ten at the time, Keith should have stopped her.

In his defense, even at seven, Pidge never listened to protest.

Still, though, impulsive or not she isn’t stupid. Which is why when her new(ish) friend of about a year, Lance, came up with quite possibly the dumbest idea she has ever heard of, she didn’t jump to say yes.

Instead she made sure she got something out of it as well.

“You...want us to go... _ ghost hunting _ ?” Pidge had asked the excited teen standing next to the couch her and Hunk were sitting on, wondering if maybe the idiot had finally lost all of his brain cells.

He kept telling her he’s intelligent, and Hunk kept swearing it was true, but Pidge had yet to see it.

“Yes! Ghost hunting!” Lance exclaimed, his entire body practically  _ vibrating _ with excitement. It was a sight to see that she honestly wish she’d missed. “It’s been a dream of Hunk’s and mine since we were kids!” He added, pointing to his poor unsuspecting roommate who shrugged and offered her a smile.

“It’s true. We’ve always been into ghosts.”

“That’s so... _ stupid _ .” Pidge said, looking to Hunk, “I know you’re smart. I’ve seen your work. How can you believe something so unscientific?”

“Says the girl who is low-key looking for aliens.” Lance teased, staring her down with a smirk as if he’d won something.

He hadn’t.

“Aliens have some logic to them, there is a far greater chance those exist than fucking ghosts.” She spit right back and Hunk sighed.

“Come on, you guys.” He looked over to Lance curiously, “What exactly do you have in mind for this?”

“Well, you see…” Lance began, climbing over her to plot down between the two and turn off the TV, “You know how we always dreamed of going to haunted places and seeing it ourselves?” He asked Hunk, who nodded as a nostalgic smile came to his face.

“Yeah, we used to break into cemeteries at night just to try and talk to ghosts.” Hunk said, laughing a little at the memory and Pidge inwardly groaned. Great, even  _ Hunk  _ wanted to do it. She could piss on Lance’s parade no problem, but it would take a cold blooded bastard to shoot down Hunk’s dreams.

Not even she could do it.

“Exactly!” Lance grinned, “Well, as you both know, with my new job I have acquired a vehicle that can actually make it out of town without falling part! So, with this wonderous new car I propose we save up and once a month we go to a new haunted place!” He looked extremely proud of his idea, and Pidge bit her tongue on the cost of something like this, “We’ll record it and put it on Youtube, too. Paranormal stuff is pretty in these days, I think we could get ourselves a following. Who knows? Maybe we’ll get popular enough to sell hoodies and coffee mugs and shit.”

“You can’t possibly think you will get popular enough for merchandising!” Pidge laughed in spite of herself, because,  _ come on _ , “Ghost hunting is such a niche crowd, man. No one wants to see two scaredy cats calling every little thing a ghost. I mean your credibility will already be shot.”

“Which is why we have you, my dear Pidge.” Lance smirked and she could just  _ feel _ the fact she was going to hate whatever he said next, “You can be our skeptic!”

As always, she was right.

“Hell no, McClain. I’m not third-wheeling your childhood bro-hunting dream.”

“Aw, come on! You’re not a third wheel! You’re our best friend! We’re a trio! The three musketeers!” 

Pidge glared, unmoved, “Not. Gonna. Happen.”

Lance sighed dramatically, “Well, that’s your decision to make...I guess you just don’t want to play with all the cool ghost gadgets that come with the job.”

She hated herself for it, but damnit she was intrigued, “What kinda gadgets are we talking about?”

“You’ll neeveerr knoowww,” Lance teased, “Because you won’t be coming.” The smirk on his face let her know she played right into his goddamn hands.

“Well...I suppose...I can go to the first one.” Pidge muttered, “I  _ do  _ like spooky places, although I don’t believe in ghosts. But I’m absolutely not third-wheeling this shit so if you want me to come then I get to bring someone of my own choice as well.”

“Sure, you can bring Matt.” Lance offered and Pidge scoffed.

“Like hell I’m bringing my brother. First of all, he lives three fucking hours away, and secondly he’s busy with work and the domestic life with his should-be-fucking-husband-already Shiro.” She then frowned for a moment when she realized she only had one choice on who to bring, “My only real option is Keith…”

“Isn’t he that guy you’re roommates with?” Hunk asked, visibly excited, “You talk about him all the time, but refuse to let us meet him.” He frowned and she felt slightly guilty, “Even though we’re all your best friends.”

“Not to mention  _ only  _ friends.”

Pidge groaned, “The only reason I haven’t introduced you guys is because Keith is painfully shy and keeps saying no.”

“Then don’t bring him.” Lance shot her a mocking grin, “Just bring one of your  _ other _ friends.”

“Oh, no, I’m bringing him,” Pidge smirked, “And you’ll have one more person in the room smarter than you are, Lance.”

“Ok, ok, guys, let’s just...move on, here.” Hunk interjected, “Lance, do you have any ideas where we can visit? We don’t exactly have a lot of money at the moment.”

"Why yes, Hunk, I do!” Lance smiled at him, “There’s an old abandoned factory in the next town over. We’ll start there and save up to go cooler places!”

“An abandoned factory..? Are we...gonna be breaking in?” Hunk asked nervously, “Because I really don’t think that’s a good idea. We can go to plenty of-!”

“Don’t worry, I got permission.” Lance pat him on the shoulder, “I wouldn’t get you into trouble, bro.”

“That’s complete bullshit, Lance.” Hunk huffed and Lance laughed.

“Okay, fair enough, but everything we do for this endeavor will be legal. Promise.”

“How’d you get the okay for it?” Pidge asked, genuinely curious. She remembered the factory he’s talking about. It was...well, it was so old none of them knew exactly what is had been. Probably a paper mill. Still, with all the broken windows and horror stories it had been sealed off for a long time, no one allowed in. At all.

“I pulled some strings. Flirted my way in.” Lance explained, wiggling his eyebrows.

“...He bribed them.” Pidge decided and Hunk groaned.

“Lance, come on! We don’t have the money for you to be bribing people!”

“Also, might I just add, a place that is creepy and old isn’t necessarily haunted.”

Lance glared at the two, clearly tired of having to defend himself already, “I  _ know  _ that, Pidge. I  _ know _ what I’m doing. I did a background check on it’s history at the town’s museum. First of all, it’s an old paper mill from the 1920’s, and had just about all the safety precautions one  _ would _ in the 20’s, so many people died working there. It eventually got shut down in the early 50’s and then some time in the 60’s some kids broke in and used it for satanic shit. So, you know, we could see a  _ demon _ ! Can you imagine? First time out and we see a  _ demon _ ?” He asked excitedly and Hunk looked nervous, but kind of exhilarated at the idea as well.

“Hey, yeah,” Pidge began, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “And maybe he’ll be having tea with  _ santa  _ and the  _ easter bunny _ .”

“Okay, first of all...to insinuate that citizens as upstanding as the easter bunny or santa would hang out with a  _ demon  _ is just insulting. That joke is bad and you should  _ feel _ bad.” Lance pointed out, “And nobody asked for your snide remarks.”

“Expect them in stereo when Keith comes,” Pidge smirked, “I’m bringing a  _ hard core  _ skeptic as back up.”

Lance huffed and crossed his arms indignantly, “Fine, whatever, just make sure he’s not a total dick while we film.”

Pidge just shrugged, although she knew damn well she had no control over that with Keith and honestly knowing him he would  _ totally _ be a dick, “Whatever you say, boss. On that note, I’m heading home. Gonna break the news to our new fourth wheel.”

Hunk smiled at her, “I can’t wait to meet him.”

“He’s pretty great,” Pidge admitted and Lance scoffed. 

“Can’t be if he’s friends with you.”

“Wow pot, don’t get too overwhelmed when you meet kettle.” She countered before getting off the couch, “Just text me when you dorks wanna play in the abandoned factory. I’ll be there.” With that, the guys waved her goodbye and she headed to her own apartment building a few miles down.

Which is where she is now. Currently standing behind her own couch where her oblivious roommate is watching TV. 

Blissfully unaware of the horrible thing she’s about to make him do.

“Hey...so...Keith.”

“What’s up?” Keith replies automatically, but she can tell by the fact his eyes are glued to the TV he’s not fully focused on her.

“Um...remember last month? When you broke your laptop and I fixed it up for you no questions asked?”

“I remember a lot of questions, actually.” He points out, still watching his show, “Lots of pointing fingers and claims I was looking at porn. Which I wasn’t.”

“Right, yeah. Um, well, anyways...what I’m getting at here is that friends do things for friends, don’t they?” She asks and he slowly turns his head towards her, an inquisitive brow raised.

“...Sometimes…”

“Yeah, so, um...how would you feel about going on a little trip to Olansbay to check out that old abandoned factory?”

Keith stares at her for a long moment, “I’m not... _ necessarily  _ against it. Not like it would be our first break in. However, I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me...something that might make me change my mind.” He says, staring her down.

“We’re going with my friends Hunk and Lance.” She adds and can see the guy visibly flinch.

“We’re breaking into a building with your new friends?” He asks, “You know, when  _ most _ people introduce their friend groups to each other, they do it over normal things like a movie night or dinner. ...Probably.”

First of all, you do not qualify as a ‘group’. You are one person. Second of all, it’s not...exactly to introduce you…” Pidge hesitates and Keith’s eyes narrow.

“Quit dancing around the point, Pidge. Spit it out already.”

“Lance and Hunk want to go looking for ghosts and I don’t wanna be a third wheel, but at the same time they plan on saving to go to some cool places and while neither of us believes in ghosts we do both enjoy a creepy ambiance.” She explains, quickly and without taking any breaths, “So anyways I wanna go around and check these places out but I’m not third-wheeling and I also need another person with a brain so I need you to come with us on our little adventures.” Finally done she takes in some air and dares to look at Keith.

His face is blank.

Not a great sign.

“Ghost hunting?” Keith asks, not giving her time to respond, “Ghost... _ ghost hunting  _ ? Hunting. For ghosts.” He gives her a look of pure disgust, “...Why...?”

“Oh come on, it’ll be fun!” Pidge urges and Keith does not look convinced. At all.

“Pidge-”

“Please, Keith. Just one time. We go to this place, try it out, record it and put it on youtube so the world can see how stupid Lance is and we can call it quits if you don’t like it.” She pouts, making sure to give her best kicked puppy face.

She can see in his eyes the exact moment he caves.

“Fine. _ Fine  _ . Let’s give it a try, I guess.” Keith groans, turning back to the TV and sinking into the couch as if he’s willing it to swallow him whole. Which, to be fair, he probably is.

“Great! You’re gonna love Hunk!” Pidge beams, plopping down beside him. “He’s like the sweetest person on earth. Also, he’s the kind soul who keeps sending me home with homemade goodies.”

“Well, he can’t be all bad, I guess. Not if he’s the one continuously feeding us.” Keith looks at her curiously, “What about the other guy? ...Um….Dan?”

“Lance. Dude. I said it like a minute ago.”

“Oh, so sorry. I’ll make sure to remember the  _ ghost hunter’s  _ name for when we meet to do some  _ ghost hunting  _ .” He has a smug smirk on his face and Pidge rolls her eyes.   

“Lance is an acquired taste.” She admits, “But he’s pretty easy on the eyes, if that helps.”

 

Keith gives her a look, clearly saying it does not.


	2. Lance is excited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance meets Pidge's friend. 
> 
> Pidge's hot friend.
> 
> Who is regrettably a huge asshole.

Lance looks over, wide eyed and and overjoyed, to Hunk from the passenger's seat of his stylin new 2014 blue ford focus he has _oh so lovingly_ named Blue. He was gonna drive but he’s just too _excited._ They’re doing it. They’re _really_ doing it!

“Dude we’re finally doing it!” He exclaims as they wait in the driveway of Pidge’s apartment. A place he’s never been inside of. The plan is to pick her and this Keith guy up and go together to investigate. Hunk already packed some filming stuff and Pidge is going to be bringing recording supplies.

She already made a youtube page yesterday.

It’s official.

If little Lance could see him now he would no doubt weep with joy.

“Yeah, dude, it’s pretty awesome.” Hunk admits, shooting him a large toothy grin. They both have been fascinated with ghosts and the paranormal since they were little and stumbled upon his mama’s ouija board. “I’m excited to meet Pidge’s friend, Keith, too! We’ve heard so much about him, I can’t wait to put a face to the name!” He adds and Lance shrugs.

“I guess...” He grumbles, but his eyes practically shine when he speaks again, “But nothing compares to _ghosts!”_

“Oh, there they are!”

Lance looks over and his heart actually stutters when he sees the guy walking (arguing?) with Pidge as they head to the car. He’s hot. _Way_ too hot to be coming with them on this dorky trip. His dark black hair is pulled up in a lazy ponytail and he’s wearing a _painfully_ hipster red flannel shirt but _dios mio_ he makes it work.

Pidge says something to Keith that Lance can’t hear but he sees the exasperated, fond, smile on his lips and-

Ay, chico, that is not playing fair.

Once the duo arrive at the car, Pidge motions for him to roll his window down so he does.

“Open the trunk so we can get this shit in there.” She says, struggling a little with the equipment in her arms.

“Gotcha!” Hunk calls, hitting a button and smiling at Keith as he stands awkwardly behind Pidge, “Nice to meet you, Keith! I’m Hunk and this guy’s Lance!”

Keith give Hunk a shy smile and Lance dies a little inside, “Nice to meet you, too, Hunk. It’s an honor to meet the man who has saved us from starvation so often.” He jokes and Hunk laughs while Pidge gives her friend a dirty look.

“Come on, we aren’t that poor!” She protests and Keith shrugs, going over to help her put stuff in the trunk before they slide into the backseat.

“So, Keith!” Hunk calls, all smiles and joy as Lance tries to subtly keep checking the new guy out from the rearview mirror. “How did you meet Pidge?”

“I moved in next door.” Keith mumbles, clearly still uncomfortable but trying, “Then on the second day some weird little five year old girl appeared in my bedroom holding a dismantled toy robot and asking if I wanted to help her modify it.” He says and Hunk laughs, Pidge rolls her eyes, and Lance _dies_ a little inside at the small smile on the guy’s face.

It’s cute.

 _He’s_ cute.

Lance is _fucked_. (Not even in the good way! Haha..ha...ohgod)

“Lance I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so quiet before.” Pidge teases and Lance notices a gleam in her eyes.

Oh shit.

_This bitch knows._

“Hah! What? Psh, I’m just letting Hunk get to know Keith.” Lance scoffs, “He was super excited about it, after all. Don’t wanna interrupt.”

Hunk looks at him a little embarrassed, “What the hell, bro?”

“It’s alright,” Keith shrugs, “I was excited to meet our favorite chef anyways.”

Hunk gives Keith a beaming smile and the boy awkwardly returns it and Lance is _dead._ Gone. _Fucking done._ He’s obviously a ghost now and just staying here out of pure willpower.

“Yeah, well, he wouldn’t be your favorite it _I_ cooked you something.” Lance brags, earning an unimpressed look from Keith.

“Is that so?” He asks, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat, “Put your food where my mouth is, then, _Lance_.” There’s a smirk on his face no and Lance is pumped.

“Oh, I will.” Lance smirks right back, “I’ll cook something that’ll knock your pants off.”

“Lance, you met him like two minutes ago, please don’t try to get into his pants already.” Pidge groans and Lance sees the faint blush on Keith’s face.

“Aw, Pidge, now you made it awkward!” Hunk points out, trying hard not to laugh too hard as he drives.

“So...how exactly are we doing this thing?” Keith asks, trying desperately to change the subject. “Like, who is going to be the main focal point? Lance and Hunk?”

Hunk shakes his head, “No thanks, I don’t really wanna be in the spotlight.”

“Me neither.” Pidge quickly adds. “Why don’t we try you and Lance as the ‘hunters’? I mean, we’ll all be in it, but Hunk and I understand the equipment better anyways so we will be less in the videos.”

“But…” Keith begins, sounding genuinely confused, “Isn't the whole reason we are going because Lance wanted you to be in the video with him?”

“I just wanted to involve my little bite-sized bro.” Lance points out, a teasing smirk on his face.

“Ugh, why do I talk to you?” Pidge groans.

“I’m not quite sure yet, but going off his attitude I’d assume it’s because you're both meme garbage?” Keith prompts and Hunk bursts out laughing.

“Oh my god, it’s true!”

“Whatever, nerd.” Pidge huffs and Keith simply rolls his eyes as the car falls into a comfortable silence until they reach the building.

Lance stares at the building for a minute. It’s off on a dead end road, and they don't come to Olansbay often anyways, but it seems smaller than it did when he was little. Definitely nothing compared to more well known haunted places.

It’s an old building, and the place itself is probably only about 10,000 square feet.

There’s definitely an eerie feeling to the place, though, with the vast amount of vines covering the old brick walls. What once was probably pristine white has now chipped away to just give the place an overall dirty appearance. The concrete stairs leading up to it on it’s small hill are broken, large chunks missing in them where weeds now spring to life.

It’s not exactly underwhelming but he knows it’s not going to get them a lot of attention on youtube.

Unless they find something.

“Who’s ready to find some ghosts!?” Lance cheers, pumping an arm in the air.

“Yeah! Let’s do this!” Hunk copies him before going and grabbing equipment with Pidge as Keith comes up to stand beside Lance. He has two simple camcorders for both of them, so all viewpoints can be seen, and he hands one to Lance.

“This place looks pathetic.” Keith points out and Lance gawks at him, appalled.

“Um, _excuse you_ ? This place is _very_ creepy!” Lance huffs, “You just don’t know it’s history.”

“Pidge said something about a couple on the job deaths and, like, hippie satanists in the 60s? Not exactly spooky.”

“You know _what_ ?” Lance begins, preparing to tell Keith off, because pretty or not you don’t just _shit_ on Lance’s excitement. He’s cut off, though, by Pidge popping up out of seemingly nowhere.

“Here you can see our two leads for this investigation, Lance McClain and Keith Kogane! Totally not in the middle of bickering, of course.” Pidge says, covered in recording equipment to match Hunk’s beside her. “Now Lance is our resident expert on the story of the building. Care to share with the class?”

Lance gets excited again and looks to the camera, wiggling his eyebrows at it, “I’m so glad you asked, Pidge. Back in 1920, this darling little factory was a paper mill, accounting for a large amount of jobs in this area. Sadly, back in the 20’s workplace safety was lacking and during it’s thirty year run as a factory there were over 17 deaths, leading to it being shut down. It was emptied out and abandoned for ten years before a little group of satanists in the 60’s used it for their rituals. Upon finding the animal sacrifices and pentagram inside, the town completely boarded it up so no one can enter...until today.” He begins heading towards the stairs now, Keith slowly catching on and following him to open the door as he keeps talking to Pidge’s camera. “I’ve attained special permission for us to enter this building for the night. So let’s get a move on and see what’s inside.”

Keith lets Hunk in at that, following close behind. “...Nothing.” He says, a dull look on his face that Pidge records, “Nothing is inside.”

Lance rolls his eyes and stands next to the skeptic asshole, trying to hide his nerves, “I told you it was empty. We have to look and try to entice the ghosts.” He points out, making Keith and Pidge laugh. “Oh you guys are just the _worst_ type of people.”

The place is cold and barren and Lance can feel an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach as they look around. He’s on edge, definitely ready to snap at any moment and so naturally as soon as the four of them fall silent, a loud wailing sound passes them, making Lance and Hunk shriek. Naturally, being a man of instinct, Lance does the first thing he thinks to do; climb onto Hunk’s back.

“That’s it! We’re getting the hell outta here!” Hunk screams and Lance nods.

They’re not ready for death, damnit!

They are too young and beautiful to die!

“Yes please!” He feels Hunk move to run before a hand latches onto the back of Lance’s hoodie, making him scream again.

“Oh no you don't!” Keith growls, holding on tight, “This was all literally your idea!”

Pidge just sighs as she records them, “Get your shit together, losers. It was the fucking wind.”

“You don't know that!” Lance yells as Hunk panics, “It went right past us, I could feel it!”

“Ghost hunters my ass…” Pidge mutters before speaking up loudly, “I’m not away from my computer so you can run from nature.”

Lance and Hunk frown, but they have to admit she has a point so Hunk lets him down and Lance reluctantly goes back to Keith’s side. “I don’t know if my heart can take this…” He mutters weakly and Keith just looks at him, unimpressed.

“...Hm…” Keith looks around the room, contemplating something, before a strange spark comes to his eyes and he slowly turns to Lance with a smirk on his face, “Hey...so...did they clean this place up from the satanic rituals?”

Lance eyes him wearily, “What...are you getting at…?”

Keith leans in conspiratorially, “I’m gonna find me a pentagram.” He declares, heading off in a direction.

“Ooooh, sounds fun!” Pidge agrees, following him.

“Wh-? What is _wrong_ with you!? A ghost just tried to kill us and you're looking for a damn demon circle!?” Lance gasps, sharing a look with Hunk of pure horror before the two chase after them.

They walk around the building, Keith and Pidge searching for the pentagram. Lance is on pins and needles, looking everywhere in the dark, praying they don’t find it and subconsciously grabbing at Hunk occasionally.

“Ohhh nnoooo, Keith!” Pidge calls and Keith turns to her, making sure to record her with his own camera, “It’s a dead rat! Think he’s haunting this place?”

Keith nods grimly, “Yes, I’m afraid so. This dead rat and all the dead parasites on him are stuck here, haunting this horrendous building.”

“Probably buddies with the dead bird we found a while back.”

“Oh, no doubt.”

“You guys are assholes.” Lance grumbles and Hunk laughs nervously.

It’s true, they are little sarcastic assholes, but he has to admit (not out loud, of course) they are distracting him from how fucking _scared_ he is.

“This place isn’t so bad with them around, though.” Hunk voices his thoughts and Lance can't help but smile at that.

“I guess…”

“Holy shit!” Pidge exclaims, bringing everyone to her, “It’s the pentagram!” She points at the floor at a dark reddish brown shape of a pentagram.

“Oh...god, do you think that’s blood it’s made of?” Keith asks, “Some poor animal’s blood?”

“Aw, I hope not. That’s just sad…” Pidge frowns and Lance shrieks, getting just close enough to grab the small girl by her shoulders and pull her into his arms protectively.

“Don’t get close to that! You’ll get possessed!”

“Will she now?” Keith asks, another unsettling look in his eyes, “Just from being close…?” He starts walking closer, his eyes never leaving Lance’s.

“Keith! You get back over here!” Lance commands and Hunk nods.

“Y-you shouldn't mess with that, Keith.”

Keith’s expression softens for Hunk, biased bastard, but quickly enough a shit eating grin is back in its place. “I’m sorry, Hunk, I can’t help it. Almost...like...it’s dragging me there!” He says in an overly dramatic fashion before standing in the middle of the circle and Lance feels his heart drop into his stomach.

“KEITH! GOD DAMNIT! G-GET BACK HERE!” Lance demands, his grip on Pidge tightening.

“Oh my god, Keith,” Pidge begins, amusement evident in her voice, “Lay down on it.”

Keith looks hesitant at that, “It’s so dirty...though…” He mutters before something in his mind seems to switch and his grins again, “I’m gonna do it.”

“Hell yeah!” Pidge cheers, throwing an arm in the air that Lance has to move his head to avoid.

“Keith! I know we don't know each other but _dios mio_ don't fucking be a dumbass!” Lance hisses out as Keith sets his camcorder down before laying on the pentagram. “ _KEITH!”_

“Comfy.” Keith says, spreading his arms and legs out before turning to Lance with a cocky grin, “You should try it.”

“No thank you, I don't need to go to _hell_!”

“Hmm...I don’t _think_ I’m going to hell right now…but I suppose I could- _JESUS CHRIST_!” The raven haired boy jumps up, moving away from the pentagram some and Lance begins shaking Pidge.

“HE’S GONNA DIE NOW! HE’S DYING AND IT’S ALL BECAUSE YOU EGGED HIM ON!”

Pidge is unfazed, looking to Keith indifferently, “What’s up?”

“Fucking-! Shit-! God damn bug touched me.” Keith hisses, running his hands all over himself to check for a bug, and effectively shutting Lance’s hysterics up.

“...Oh.” Lance smirks as he lets go of Pidge and moves closer to the other man, “Afraid of a little bug, Keith?”

“At least what I’m afraid of exists.” Keith hisses back, removing his red flannel button up and shaking it while also revealing the unfairly tight black long sleeved shirt beneath it.

“Psh, yeah, some tiny little bug that’s gonna do a whhoooole lot of damage.” Lance mocks and Keith gives him a pointed glare.

“And just what is a ghost gonna do, if they exist? Float through you?” He shakes his head and looks down at his shirt, “Ugh, it’s covered in dirt now.”

“Ghosts are dangerous, _Keith_.” Lance huffs, crosses his arms indignantly,  “If they are strong enough they can lift things, throw people, drag and scratch them. Mentally corrupt someone into murderi-oh no, wait, it’s, um, demons who do that I think.”

Keith smirks, “Don’t even know what your little buddies do, huh?”

“You little-!” Lance begins, bringing his face right up into Keith's to properly tell him off before something falls over in the distance, making him scream and latch onto the nearest person.

A very unamused Keith.

“It was a rat.” The man points out and Lance looks over, not letting go of Keith’s shoulders, to see a small rat scurrying away from the mess.

“...Shut up.” He grumbles, taking a second to enjoy the feeling of Keith in his arms. The guy looks skinny and frail but _damn_ he’s not. Lance can feel the muscles under his shirt and holy shit that’s hot.

Too bad Keith is a total asshole.

“...So...you gonna let go of me anytime soon?” Keith asks, pulling him out of his thoughts and making Lance jump away, arms up in the air.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” There’s a smirk on Keith’s face again, “Rats can be terrifying.”

Lance scrunches up his face in annoyance, “At least I’m not afraid of bugs.”

“Bugs are fucking _gross_ and they can sometimes sting!” Keith huffs, “At least rats are _cute_.”

“I’m not afraid of rats! Only ghosts!” Lance groans and Keith chuckles under his breath.

“Ghost rats.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Okay, so…” Pidge begins, pulling their attention from each other, “We’ve gone through the whole building now. It’s getting cold and Keith is kinda...not dressed for the weather anymore. That shirt’s fabric is flimsy as fuck.”

“Yeah, it is.” Keith shrugs and Lance frowns. It did feel pretty thin when he was holding onto him.

“I guess we should go, then. We don't want Keith to get a cold.” Lance teases.

“Ugh, finally, if I had known stripping would get me out of here faster I would have done it _much_ sooner.” Keith groans and Lance chokes on air for a second at the thought.

“Hey, you guys hungry?” Hunk asks, “Because I could definitely go for some food.”

“Yeah,” Keith nods, “I could eat.”

“Oh thank god, me too!” Pidge sighs, resting a hand on her stomach, “Every time we come to this town all I can think about is that Italian place down the road.”

“Oooooohhhh yeah, that’s a good one.” Hunk agrees, “Let’s definitely go there.”

Lance gets a big grin on his face, “Who’s ya boi?” He asks, receiving weird looks from everyone but Hunk who emphatically raises his hand and calls out ‘me’.

“Just him.” Keith says and Pidge nods.

“Well get ready to change that.” Lance says, pulling out his wallet as they head down the stairs to the car, “I made sure to save eating out money for this trip.”

Keith looks at him confused, “Are you...saying you are going to pay for everyone?” He asks and Lance nods.

“That’s right! Dinner is on me! Just this time, though. Next time we’re leaving this county so we will need all our own money.” Lance explains and Keith frowns.

“No. Absolutely not.” He says, grabbing the wallet and shoving it into the pocket on Lance’s hoodie, looking pointedly at the now flustered teen, “Keep your money for yourself. Save it for the next trip, if we’re going far. Everyone can buy their own meal.”

Lance blinks, staring at the boy in surprise, “But...it’s my way of thanking you guys for coming.”

“Nah, we don’t need it.” Pidge speaks up, getting into the back seat with Keith again as Lance and Hunk get into the front. “I came out of curiosity and if anyone owes Keith, it’s me.”

“Nobody owes Keith.” Keith grumbles, “It’s fine. Everyone pays for themselves.”

Hunk nods as he starts up the car, “I agree. We should all be responsible for our own expenses.”

“Fine,” Lance sighs and looks back at Keith, “I guess you aren’t as much of an ass as I thought.”

The smirk that comes to Keith’s face is just criminal, “How kind of you to notice.”

“Keep it in your pants, boys.” Pidge calls out, fidgeting with her phone as they head to the restaurant.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> art for this chapter by me: http://i-want-you-homosexually.tumblr.com/post/170991476746/ghost-hunter-au-where-lance-and-hunk-believe-in


	3. Keith might not hate this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone gets dinner after the 'ghost hunt' and Keith actually, really, enjoys himself.
> 
> Even if Lance is weird.

Keith follows as Pidge leads the group into the restaurant. Lance is close behind her,arguing about something for a class they’re in. He’s honestly not sure what the hell it’s all about, too busy lost in his own thoughts. While he was, under no circumstances, excited to come to this ghost hunting thing he has to admit that he’s kind of glad he did now. 

 

Besides, it's not like he does shit on his weekends anyways.

 

He thinks back to when they were leaving the apartment a few hours ago. He was beyond nervous, arguing with Pidge on their way to the car about how he's terrible at meeting new people and he’d end up being a fourth wheel while the other three hung out.   
  
Pidge, being the oh-so delicate flower she is, told him he was a fucking dumbass if he thought no one would want to talk to him. 

 

Reminded him he’s cooler than he thinks, or she wouldn’t spend time with him.   
  
It made him smile a little.   
  
When they had reached the little blue Ford Focus he had gone back to nervous, though, trying to hide behind Pidge and ignore that the weirdo in the car staring him down . He was terrified he’d already fucked up somehow when Hunk spoke up and started talking to him.   
  
It was nice.   
  
_ Hunk _ is nice.   
  
He discovered on the ride that Hunk has this incredible ability to make you feel comfortable. At home even with a stranger.   
  
Keith also learned that Lance had a staring problem.   
  
It wasn’t until Lance finally spoke to him that Keith started to really relax.   
  
Which is why he was able to be more himself at the factory. Totally worth it, too, with how nervous it made Lance and Hunk.   
  
It was a little weird when Lance clung to him that one time, though. Not awful, just weird.   
  
After all, if you push aside the ghost shit and basically rely just on looks, Lance is actually his type.   
  
When Pidge said Lance was easy on the eyes he had assumed the guy was gonna be muscular with a chiseled jaw. 

 

Which, god no. Too much like Shiro.

 

Imagine his surprise, though, when he saw a tall, dark, lanky teen with gorgeous eyes that kept staring him down . Then his momentary joy when he saw his actual  _ body _ .  It was not muscular at all, all long limbs and smooth skin and as soon as the guy got out of the car and stretched Keith almost swallowed his tongue.   
  
Those hips were  _ amazing _ to Keith, which was weird because they weren't exactly anything to write home about. He doesn't have much of an ass and his hips are kind of just boney and there, but Keith found himself staring anyways.   
  
A lot, actually. Even when they were finally inside the building looking for ‘ghosts’, his eyes would wander down when Lance was turned away from him.   
  
It was weird.    
  
“Hey, Keith!” Hunk calls, pulling Keith from his thoughts as a familiar heat spreads across his cheeks.   
  
“Huh? What’s up?” Keith asks. They are set up in a booth now, Pidge and Keith on one side and Lance and Hunk on the other. He and Hunk are on the outside, since Lance and Pidge oh-so-not subtly scrambled for the window seats. 

 

Honestly Keith is glad. He'd rather talk to Hunk than Lance. Hot as he may be, he's kind of annoying.   
  
“You were in a daze.”    
  
Pidge smirks next to Keith, “Whatchya thinkin’ bout, buddy?”   
  
“What I want to eat.” Keith says, pointedly staring at the menu in his hands and Pidge laughs.   
  
“Yeah, I bet. You get the same thing every time, man.”   
  
He simply shrugs, “That’s because it’s good every time. Also, this is the only place I’ve ever found that makes it.”   
  
“What’s the dish?” Hunk asks, looking excited which makes Keith excited, because maybe Hunk would make this meal.   
  
“It’s eggplant rollatini.” Keith explains, getting a confused look from the guy.   
  
“It’s basically eggplant parm with ricotta cheese stuffed inside.” Pidge adds and Keith nods.   
  
“Interesting…” Hunk smiles, “I’ve never had eggplant before, actually.”   
  
“ What !?” Keith gasps, “How have you-? But aren’t you in college to be a chef? How have you not had eggplant?”   
  
“Well...I’m actually in college to be an engineer.” Hunk admits, “I just really like cooking in my down time.”   
  
“Oh. Oh wow.” Keith blurts out, incredibly impressed.   
  
“Are you in college?” Hunk asks and Keith looks away awkwardly.   
  
“No…” Keith mutters, sinking into his seat a little, “It’s not like I’ve never thought about it, but I just...can’t afford it.”   
  
“There’s programs for that, you know.” Lance points out, flashing him a smile that Keith was  _ not  _ preparedfor, “How old are you?”   
  
“Twenty.”   
  
“Hm, I know our college has a scholarship for people wanting to come to college that covers your age.”   
  
Keith falls silent. He can’t go to college. Pidge knows why, he knows why, but he’s not sure he wants these guys to know why. It’s personal, and it’s not like he even knows what he would go for.   
  
Thankfully, before Lance can speak up again, their waitress is there asking for their orders. Hunk orders chicken scarpariello, Pidge orders tuscan style ribs, and Lance gets shrimp fra diavolo. It all sounds delicious, honestly, but Keith’s mouth waters at the thought of having his rollatini again.

 

It’s been years. 

 

Three, he thinks. 

 

He misses it.   
  
Pidge, Hunk and Lance talk about school some more as Keith quietly looks around. He doesn’t socialize this much in a normal day so he kind of needs a break from talking. Instead, he observes how different the restaurant is from the last time he and Pidge came. 

 

He was seventeen and she was fourteen, both of them had scrounged up change and chore money for weeks to afford to not only eat here but pay for the gas to drive up on their own, too. It was fun, but he felt a little guilty.   
  
When he was still living with Shiro he always felt guilty about money, since he couldn't use his own to pay for anything and Shiro refused to let him get a job during high school.   
  
Still, it’s amazing how much the place has changed in such a short period of time. What used to be basic brown tables for couples had transformed into cute white tables with little wire patio chairs to match. 

 

They don't look all that comfy, but who knows?   
  
They certainly look good and that’s probably all that matters to the owners.   
  
The tight booths they used to have are now, thankfully, much more comfortable and the table can be moved more to either side if needed. The color is also white and Keith can’t help but think how stupid it seems to have everything white in a place you eat.

 

A place where you eat  _ spaghetti. _   
  
Then again, how stupid is it to spend your Friday night out looking for ghosts in an abandoned factory?   
  
   Very .   
  
So to be fair he’s probably lost his rights to call shit out on being stupid for a little while.   
  
Even if he wasn’t actively looking for ghosts himself, he did kinda lay down on a pentagram that was 99% likely to have been made with some kind of blood.   
  
“Watch your hands, the plate is hot.” A voice calls from over him and he looks up to see their waitress handing out their dishes. “Please enjoy!” She says once she has finished and hurries off to her next table.   
  
  “Ok, so,” Hunk begins, eyeing Keith’s plate, “I  need to try those.” He cuts off a piece of his chicken and holds it out, “Trade?”   
  
Keith stares at him for a moment because, well, the only people he’s shared food with are Shiro and Pidge, and he definitely was not expecting someone who is basically a stranger to be the third. “I…” He begins before nodding, “Sure.” Cutting off a piece of his, the two trade forks to try the other’s meal. 

 

_ Shit _ this was good, too.   
  
 “Oh my god .” Hunk grins as they return the forks to each other, “That is amazing. I can’t believe I’ve never had it before, I feel cheated.”   
  
“So did I when I first tried it.” Keith admits, a small smile on his face.   
  
“Hunk, yours looks good I wanna try some.” Pidge calls out and Hunk turns his attention to her, the two splitting their meals.   
  
“Hey, Lance,” Hunk nudges the boy beside him, “Why don’t you trade with Keith, too? His stuff is delicious.” He’s got a smirk on his face and Lance gives him an annoyed look before turning to Keith.   
  
“Wanna?” Lance asks and Keith shrugs, cutting off a piece for his and switching forks to try his shrimp.   
  
It’s good.   
  
Of course.   
  
“That is actually really good.” Lance smiles, “I guess you have good taste in some things. Even if you don’t have the brains to believe in ghosts.”   
  
Keith smirks, “Funny, I always thought people with brains liked to have proof of something.”   
  
“Ohhh, you want proof?” Lance asks, a competitive look in his eyes, “I’ll show you proof.” He goes to pull out his phone and Keith rolls his eyes.   
  
“If it’s a video of a ghost you can count me out. That shit is fake.”   
  
“You say that, but I mean we had a ghost encounter today. Or did you forget?”   
  
Keith laughs, “Oh you mean when you climbed poor Hunk like a tree because the wind blew past you? Trust me, I’m never forgetting that.”   
  
 “Whatever,” Lance huffs, practically sprawled out across Hunk to shove his phone in Keith’s face, “There’s also photos-!”   
  
 “Fake.”   
  
 “Audio recor-!”   
  
 “Try again.”   
  
 “Testimony-!”   
  
 Keith raises a brow, an amused smile on his face as Lance gets more and more flustered, “Are you joking?”   
  
“ Alright,” Lance bites out, “What is it going to take for you to believe? A ghost coming up and slapping you in the face?”   
  
He shrugs, “Yeah, that’d do it.”   
  
“How about if I slap you in the face?” The teen grumbles and Keith shakes his head.   
  
“Nope, doesn’t count unless you’re dead.”   
  
“If I die before you believe in ghosts I’m personally coming to you and slapping you right in the fucking face .” Lance is getting frustrated, his cheeks are flushed, there's a challenging look in his eyes and there is now somehow less than four inches between his face and Keith’s. A feat he achieved after crawling over a very confused-quickly turned exasperated-Hunk to sit across from him for this argument.   
  
Keith can’t help it anymore and he bursts out laughing. Not only because it’s funny but also because he’s a little uncomfortable with the proximity and his only real option is to laugh at the boy and hope he backs off.   
  


Thankfully he does.   
  
“So Keith,” Hunk, now displaced to the window seat, calls when Keith and Lance awkwardly go back to their meals, “If I were to make those rollatinis...would you be my taste tester?”   
  
Keith looks over at him, wide eyed and excited, “If you made these, Hunk, I would be your  _ husband _ .”   
  
Hunk laughs, “Taste tester is good enough. I’m actually planning on making everything we’ve had tonight.” He says and Keith is more than a little excited at the idea of italian food that doesn’t cost $15 for just a plate. “Starting next weekend. You and Pidge should come eat them with us.”   
  
“Yes!” Pidge exclaims with Keith and Hunk laughs.   
  
 “Can.... neither of you cook?” Lance asks, eyeing the two with amusement.   
  
“Keith can make some basic stuff,” Pidge admits, “But...not…” She looks at him guiltily, “...  _ Well _ …”   
  
Keith winces at the words, however true they are. “I’m better than Pidge, but, the bar is pretty low when comparing yourself to someone who burned water.”   
  
“You cannot burn water, Keith .” Pidge huffs, “I burned the pot by letting the water evaporate and leaving the dish to sit too long.”   
  
Lance bursts out laughing, “Is that supposed to make it better?”   
  
“ Obviously not , but it does make it factual.”   
  
“Yes, of course, how could I mess that up?” Keith’s voice is dripping with sarcasm, earning him a kick from Pidge under the table.   
  
The rest of dinner is pretty quiet, everyone finally focusing on eating their food before they head home. On the drive Keith has a quiet conversation with Hunk as Lance and Pidge play on their phones. He lets out a small noise when Pidge’s head falls on his shoulder that makes Hunk glance back.   
  
 “You guys are pretty close, huh?” Hunk asks, looking to the sleeping girl.   
  
 “She’s basically my little sister, honestly.” Keith answers, his voice quieter so she doesn’t wake up.   
  
“It’s just cute, is all.” Hunk smiles, shrugging, “Pidge isn’t great with physical attention. Seeing her comfortable enough to curl up to someone is nice.”   
  
“She does it with you, too, doesn’t she?” Keith asks and Hunk laughs a little as Lance begins to snore in the passenger seat.   
  
“Yeah, kind of. She gives us high fives and will sit beside us on the couch but she doesn’t lean into us. Lance also kinda just drags her around and she goes with it, but it’s us seeking her out, not the other way around.” Hunk explains, shrugging a little.   
  
“That’s still impressive for her.” Keith points out, “She likes you guys a lot.”   
  
“I’m glad.” Hunk smiles at Keith through the rearview mirror, “We love our little Pidge.” They are silent for a few moments, Hunk obviously wanting to ask something, before he finally works up the courage. “So do you think you’ll come next time?”   
  
Keith looks at him surprised for a moment before leaning back in his seat, allowing Pide to curl up closer as a tired smile crosses his lips, “Yeah. Count me in.”   
  



	4. Hunk takes care of the kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One weekend later Hunk delivers on his promised meal
> 
> and discovers just how much of a mess Keith is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hunk uses some Samoan in this one because I FUCKING CAN (kinda. if it's wrong please let me know)
> 
> anyways the samoan he uses is:  
> tina-mom  
> Auai le atua e- oh my god

Hunk is pretty stoked for today. He’s making the eggplant rollatini he promised Keith, and honestly he’s more excited for the boy’s reaction then seeing how well his food came out.

Although he has no doubt it will come out amazing. He worked really hard on this.

Since meeting him last week, Hunk has had this overwhelming urge to take care of the awkward boy, even though Keith is a little older. He's like an adorable feral cat you just wanna take in and spoil.  
Which he will never say to Keith because it will no doubt insult him to the very core.  
Just like he doesn’t tell Pidge she’s tiny and adorable.

Even though she undeniably is.

He wonders if Keith thinks so, too. Probably, since he admitted to seeing her as a little sister.  
Growing up as an only child, Hunk never really knew what it felt like to have someone to look out for like that. Sure, he’s always had Lance at his side and heaven knows Lance has always needed constant supervision, especially in his younger years, but Lance was also able to take care of himself. Lance is younger than Hunk, yes, by about seven months but true to his July birthday he is a summer child.

All smiles and warmth and strength .  
Anything Lance decided to do, he barrelled right through it. Still does.

Hunk, however, is more than happy to just be on the sidelines, encouraging him and occasionally helping him back on his feet after something goes wrong.  
Like when Lance broke his arm falling out of a tree when they were twelve.  
Still, he knows it's different from that sibling feeling. From what Lance has with his own brothers and sister. He simply has to watch Lance interact with them to see that.

When they first met Pidge, Hunk felt an immediate connection to the girl, bonding over their engineering background and just overall love of technology. It was nice to have someone equal in intelligence to him that he could talk about that sort of stuff with. Still is, honestly. Even with that closeness, though, he doesn’t really feel like she’s the little sister he never had but always wanted. Maybe because they didn’t grow up together. Maybe because a part of her still keeps him at arm's length.

  
Hunk can’t help but wonder what Keith feels about Pidge, having been by her side since she was little. He doesn’t appear to be overly concerned for her, but maybe Keith is the type of person to keep that secret?

  
He’s be lying if he said a little (big) part of him wasn’t a bit jealous to see Pidge curl up so easily against Keith. It’s in Hunk’s nature to take care of others, and want to cuddle. Seeing the two of them like that was almost like seeing two kittens curled into each other. It’s precious and heart warming, but you can’t help but want to be a part of it.

  
Or maybe that’s just him?

  
Cuddling is great, after all.

  
Soon, there’s a knock on the door, pulling him out of his thoughts and he watches out of the corner of his eye as Lance excitedly runs to it. Setting the dishes down on the table that he knows they won’t be using, he heads over to join him and sees two very disgruntled kids at his door.

  
Standing in their doorway, Keith and Pidge are mirror images of each other. Their hair is disheveled, their clothes are rumpled like they have worn them for a day or two more than they should (they probably have, at least Pidge) and the size of their travel coffee mugs are alarming.

  
Just like the bags under their eyes.

  
He should probably stop comparing them to small animals, but for some reason they look like very frumpled little chicks.

  
It makes Hunk want to mother hen them something fierce.

  
“Are...you guys okay…?” Hunk asks as Lance doubles over, clinging to the door while he laughs himself breathless.

  
“No.” They grumble in unison before Pidge grabs Keith’s wrist and leads him to the couches in the living room where she collapses face first into one. Keith quickly follows suit.

  
“You didn’t have to come…” Hunk begins, feeling guilty at the sight of the two.

  
“Yes. We. Did .” Keith insists, his voice muffled by the couch.

  
“Keith has been looking forward to this since you mentioned it at the restaurant. He dragged me.” Pidge groans.

  
“Sooo. what have _you guys_ been up to this week?” Lance asks after he regains his composure some, settling on simply having an eyebrow raised in amusement.

  
“Fucking Pidge,” Keith hisses as he turns around to lay face up on the couch and shoot her a glare, “Decided to use our broken toaster as a basis for a fucking robot .” He explains and Hunk’s interest is beyond piqued because holy shit awesome. “It was pretty fucking cool for about two minutes, before it decided it wanted to destroy us and the goddamn apartment .”

  
“You stepped on it and hurt it’s feelings.” Pidge explains and Keith shoots up, glaring at her over his shoulder.

  
“Who the fuck builds a robot with the ability to zap shit!! ?” He’s near hysterics.

  
Like Lance.

Different kinds of hysterics, though. (But they definitely both need to take in some air)

“The kind who doesn’t want a gun in the house but also needs intruders to know this bitch will not be fucked with .” Pidge defends, like it makes perfect sense to have a sentient zapping robot instead of a gun.

Hunk’s honestly kind of torn on the idea. A robot sounds fucking awesome. Maybe not this one, though.

“So...you have a maniacal robot on the run in your apartment?” He asks and Pidge looks visibly upset.

“Not anymore…” She mumbles and Keith nods.

“I put it the fuck down today. After it zapped the shit out of me _again_ .” He huffs, holding up a foot to show a very singed sock and holy shit is the bottom of his foot bleeding?

“Keith!” Hunk exclaims, running over and grabbing his foot to inspect it, “When did this happen?"

“Right before he became a murderer.” Pidge answers grimly and Keith rolls his eyes.

“I don’t know...like...an hour ago?”

“You got fucking lasered in the foot and walked over here!?” He shrieks, the rage of a thousand mothers flowing through him.  
Probably.

At least ten.

“Um…” Keith shrinks a little into the couch, looking up at Hunk confused, “We...we already scheduled with you, so…”

Hunk can’t help but wonder just how desperate this boy is for a home cooked meal.

Or maybe he’s just stupid.

His tina always said the pretty ones are stupid. Man, was she right.

“Why didn’t you just drive ?” He groans and Keith huffs out a laugh.

“Like we’re gonna waste gas just to come down the road.”

“A uai le atua e, Keith!!!” Hunk groans and Lance laughs.

“Oh shit, you’ve got him cursing in Samoan! Sure fire sign he’s done with your shit, Keith.” He teases and Keith rolls his eyes.

“Bet he does it at least three times a day with you around.”

“What was that!?” Lance shrieks, his voice breaking a little at the end because Hunk _does_ .

“You heard me!” Keith counters and Hunk gives them both pointed looks, squeezing Keith’s foot and earning himself a pained squeak from the guy.

“If you two are done…” He begins, looking to Pidge, “Get me the first aid kit.”

She looks like she’s about to protest, but thinks better of it and heads to the bathroom.

“We need to clean your wound and wrap it.” Hunk explains when she returns and Keith makes a face.

“Do we have to? It’s just a little burn.”

“It’s not even a burn, Keith. It’s bleeding . You have an open wound on the bottom of your foot. How is this not bothering you?”

Pidge laughs beside him, “Keith is always doing stupid shit that gets him hurt. I bet good money he’s already met your _girlfriend_ on one of her ER shifts.”

Hunk blushes a little as he treats Keith’s foot, “Shay isn’t my girlfriend. She’s just...a girl that I know and I admire very much.”

“Shay?” Keith thinks for a minute, “Oh, yeah, I’ve met her. She’s probably the best nurse there.” He gives Hunk a smile that’s too sweet to be mad at, “Good choice, Hunk.”  
Hunk goes about ten shades redder as Lance laughs behind him.

“See? Even Keith approves! Just ask her out already!” His roommate teases and Hunk decides to focus a little more than necessary on the foot in front of him.

“Seriously, Hunk, you guys have been going in the weirdest fucking circles since we brought Lance to the ER a year ago. It’s been _a year_ , man! Step up your game!” Pidge exclaims and Keith laughs a little, his smile turning sympathetic.

“Maybe you should try.” Keith suggests, “It won’t hurt.”

Hunk laughs nervously, “C-come on, guys! Let’s go ahead and eat now.” He suggests, watching as Keith’s eyes light up.

It’s.

Fucking.

Adorable .

“So, Lance…” Pidge begins as Hunk and Keith bring out the food for everyone, setting the plates on their coffee table, “I couldn’t help but notice...we had none of the previously promised gadgets during our weird little ghost hunt. If you could even call it that.”

“Haha...right…” Lance begins, shooting Hunk a look for help that he ignores, “Well I mean...I don’t have money for it… yet .”

“We need it.” Pidge insists, staring him down, “I. Need. Those. Gadgets. It’s basically the whole reason I agreed to this! You wanna lose me?” A smirk raises on her face and she gives Lance a pointedlook, “You wanna lose _Keith?_ ”

Said boy, who was not paying attention, looks over at the mention of his name. Bless his heart, he’s so excited about Hunk’s food he has no clue what’s going on.

“What’s that supposed to mean!? I’ll get them when I can, Pidge, besides didn’t we have fun witho-!?” Lance begins, indignant until Pidge cuts him off with a pillow right to the face

“Lance, you ignorant slut! Fun my ass, _get me those gadgets!_ ” She rages and Hunk stares at her in shock as Lance just sputters, arms flailing around as he tries to fend her off.

“Pidge !” Hunk gasps as Keith laughs from beside him.

“Gadgets are needed or no one will take us seriously! Literally every comment mentions how we need that shit to get results!” Pidge gets in a few more hits before she’s finally satisfied. Sighing, she turns to Keith, “I can pitch in, what about you?”

The smile on Keith’s face drops, “...You want me...to spend my money on gadgets that don’t do anything so we can prove they don’t do anything ?” He asks, a look of pure disgust on his face. “Please just go back to hitting Lance.”

“They do things, Keith. They can be used for more than ghost shit.” Pidge argues.

Or, well, lies.

Pidge lies.

Hunk knows, Lance knows, but poor sweet Keith doesn’t know and a part of Hunk wants to tell him, he really does, but a bigger part of him wants that stuff. Wants their page to be successful so they can keep this going.

“There’s a thing called a ghost box,” Lance explains, “Could be used as a radio. You’ll love it.”

Keith raises a brow, “Why...would I need a radio? My motorcycle has one, as well as Pidge’s car.”

“Pidge does make a good point.” Hunk shrugs as he and Keith sit down on the couch next to the one Lance and Pidge are on, “No one will be interested in our videos without those. It’s just some kids running around in old buildings.”

Keith looks at him like he has something to say that might possibly (definitely) be rude, but then his eyes dart to the food in front of them and then over to Hunk and something softens for a moment before he gets a look on his face. The same look he got right before laying on a (literally) bloody pentagram and Hunk is kind of terrified.

“I will give you guys $100 to use on whatever stupid shit you need to buy if Hunk asks Shay out.” He suggests and Pidge’s eyes light up.

“Yes! Keith! This is why I love you, man!” She exclaims, “Same here, Hunk! $100 from me, too, if you ask her out!”

“Dios mio, Keith, you magnificent asshole, that’s genius!” Lance grins, “Come on, Hunk! Our future’s riding on you, bro!”

Hunk takes a deep breath. Followed by another. Then about twenty more.

“You don’t have to right this second,” Keith frowns, “I don’t want you to die of a panic attack or something.”

It’s almost sweet.

Almost .

If you completely ignore this is all Keith’s fault.

“Can we just eat, please?” Hunk asks, the whine so evident in his voice even he’s ashamed. Luckily, Keith’s excitement returns tenfold for the meal and he eagerly nods.

“Yeah, yes, let’s figure out that other stuff later.” Keith agrees and Pidge rolls her eyes.

Hunk waits for Keith to take a bite before he tries his own. That’s his biggest judge tonight since this is a dish he loves.

Is it his favorite? He should probably see if it’s his favorite. It’s at least hard for him to come by, from the sound of it.

He watches as Keith eats some and makes a small noise that sounds almost like a moan behind the eggplant he quickly begins stuffing in his mouth. It warms Hunk’s heart to see him enjoy it so much. Even if he’s slightly concerned about Lance currently choking on his own food at the moment, very pointedly not looking at Keith.

Admittedly, Hunk doesn’t know much about Keith past him being Pidge’s childhood friend, and probably Lance’s new crush. Still, he’s glad he got to meet him. From the smile Keith is giving him he’s pretty sure the feeling is mutual. It’s always nice to make a new friend, and even if it wasn’t in the most...conventional way...he’s still glad.  
  
    


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't write hunk, which is why this took so long. He's just such a good, sassy, anxious boy and I AM SO SORRY I WILL WORK ON DOING HIM JUSTICE


	5. Pidge wants her god damn gadgets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just another day in the life of Pidge.

Pidge finishes off her plate of leftover eggplant rollatini from last weekend at Hunk and Lance’s, or as she likes to call it; The day Hunk fucking  _ stole her emo _ .

He just came right on in all smiles and food and Keith is now all about the damn guy. They exchanged numbers last weekend, too, and she knows for a fact Hunk is blowing up Keith’s phone.

This is  _ not _ what she had in mind. It was supposed to be her enjoying the benefits of all of  _ her _ people together. Not them going off and being friends without her.

This is some serious bullshit right here.

Admittedly it’s not the worst thing in the world. She can hang out with them all together now and, seriously, she’s been Keith’s only friend for how long now?

It’s getting a little sad.

Besides, push comes to shove she still has Lance. Sure he’s annoying but she still loves the little bastard. (Except he’s not actually little, he’s a fucking tall ass beanstalk but that’s besides the point). She even loves when they hang out just the two of them, he reminds her a lot of Matt sometimes and it’s fun to have an outgoing guy to just dork around with.

Speak (or think) of the devil, Lance sends her a text. Followed by about ten more. All caps and exclamation points.

**Lance:**

(16:30) PIDGE!!!!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU!?!?!?!?!!?

(16:30) SJDKLSGJDFHKLJGLKSDJKSGJSDKLJ!!!!!!!! PIDGE! OH MY GOD!

(16:31) HUNK! HUNK DID THE THING!

**Pidge:**

(16:31) Dude, you need to breathe. Wtf is going on?

**Lance:**

(16:31) HUNK!

(16:31) ASKED!

(16:31) HER!

(16:31) OUT!!!!!!!!

(16:31) RLDSKJFVKLGLGSDFGLJFSDKLGJGJKLGJ

**Pidge:**

(16:32) JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST FUCKING FINALLY!

**Lance:**

(16:32) RIGHT!?!?!!?!? FUCKING HELL YES!

(16:32) KEITH IS AMAZING!

(16:32)HE PERFORMED A MIRACLE!

**Pige:**

(16:33) Ohh? Keith is  _ amazing _ , huh?

(16:33) You wanna tell him or should I?

**Lance:**

(16:33) WHAT? WAIT! NO!

(16:33) I MEANT HE HAD ONE GOOD IDEA!

(16:33) HE’S A STUPID ASSHOLE

(16:33) PIDGE WHERE ARE YOU? KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!!!!

**Pidge:**

(16:34) He’s home~! I’ll be sure to tell him you said hi~~!

“Hey, Pidge…” Keith raises a brow, “What’s the shit eating grin for?

“Sooooo many things!” Pidge cackles, “I’m texting Lance right now. He’s just making my day.” She looks to him and watches as Keith pretends not to care, while also shuffling a little closer.

“What...um...what did he say?” Keith asks and Pidge puts her phone away before he can see it. (She might tease Lance, but she’s no snitch).

“Hunk asked Shay out.” She explains, watching Keith go wide-eyed.

“No way,” He begins, jumping over the back of the couch to sit next to her, “ _ No Way _ .”

“Yup. We both owe them $100 for their stupid ghost shit.”

Keith smiles one of his rare smiles that even Pidge has to admit lights up the god damn room and for a second she’s tempted to get a picture and send it to Lance. (She decides it’ll be better to have him see it in person for the first time.) “This is amazing. I’m so happy for him.”

“Well, it’s not like we gave him much of a choice.” Pidge jokes and the smile drops.

“Oh...um...do you think...we...forced him to do something he didn’t want to...?” Keith asks, guilt taking over his features and Pidge laughs. “Is he gonna hate us…?”

“I’m almost jealous how much you care about his feelings.” She teases and Keith rolls his eyes.

“You have to have them for me to care about them.”

“Ouch, my heart.” Pidge deadpans. “Anyways, hunk wont be mad. Hes got no real reason to be if it goes well, which it will. On a different yet related note, I’ve got the $200, so you can pay me your $100 back with your next paycheck.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, Lance is pretty impatient when he’s getting something, so I’ve been making sure to have $200 around for when Hunk finally grew a pair and did it.”

“I’m genuinely impressed.” Keith says and Pidge rolls her eyes.

“Don’t be, it’s the least impressive thing I’ve done all week.” She groans.

“Well, yeah sure the techy stuff is impressive, too, but you're always doing that. I never see you saving money for  _ someone else _ .”

“I’m full of surprises, Keith. Even after all these years. It’s what keeps the relationship interesting.”

“Well that and apparently ghost hunting, now.” Keith teases, “When are we doing that again, by the way? I mean he said once a month and last time was November tenth. It’s the twenty-third now, close to a month later. Isn’t it time to discuss going somewhere?”

“I wouldn’t personally hold my breath for December. With christmas coming, Lance and Hunk are both probably gonna want to use their money to see their families. Really it’s all up to Lance, and to a lesser extent, Hunk.” Pidge points out, and she could swear she sees disappointment on his face. Hah! She knew he enjoyed it. “Buuuut, if you wanna make sure, he’s coming over soon.”

Keith looks excited, “Hunk is?”

“No, Lance.”

His excitement drops to pure despair, “ _ He’s _ coming here? Why?”

“The money, of course.”

Keith raises a brow, clearly unconvinced, but decides to drop it. “Whatever, a customer dropped motor oil all over me at the bike shop so I’m gonna go shower.”

“I  _ thought _ you smelled better than usual.” Pidge teases as he disappears into the bathroom, his hand popping back out to flip her off before he closes the door. 

Having a minute to herself she looks back at her phone and, sure enough, Lance is on his way over.

Ten minutes later the front door slams open.

"Every word out of that little monster's mouth is a lie!" Lance yells, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Yeah, no shit!" Keith hollars back from the shower, "But that doesn't explain why some  _ idiot _ just barged into our apartment!"

Lance looks to the bathroom door confused for a second, his face growing impressively red before he turns towards the living room and a smirking Pidge. "You..." He begins, taking long steps before he's suddenly all up in Pidge's personal space and whispering, "You didn't say anything?"

Pidge rolls her eyes. "No, Lance, not that there's much to say anyways. You called him amazing for hooking them up. Big deal. What are you, five?"

"Shut up."

"Oof," Pidge brings a hand to her chest, "You wound me with your harsh words."

"Whatever." Lance huffs before plopping down next to her on the couch, "So what are you guys doing today?"

"Well we both just got done work so...nothing. Maybe Mario Kart." She smirks at him, "You wanna staayyyy?"

"I  _ did _ come all the way down here."

"For the money, right?" She teases before whispering so only Lance can hear, "Not your middle school crush on my roommate."

"It's not-! I'm not-! I Don't-!" Lance groans before crossing his arms and sinking into the couch, "Stupid little gremlin."

"Oof, again with these shots you keep firing, bro. Calm down." Pidge laughs at the look of pure indignation on his face before Keith comes in with a towel wrapped around his hair. "Sporting only the finest styles, I see."

"Of course. Fashion is life." Keith deadpans before sitting on her other side.

"Oh, that reminds me," Pidge looks over to Lance, "Keith here wanted to know when we were going ghost hunting again."

"No I didn't!" Keith blushes a little before his eyes travel over Pidge to look at Lance, "But when are we?"

"Oohhh?" Lance stares at Keith with a shit eating grin, "Excited to go hunting ghosts again?"

"No. I just like to know about plans ahead of time."

Pidge and Lance grin at him, mirror expressions of  _ unconvinced _ . "Suuuuure buddy."

"I'm not sure when, but we will totally have a Christmas special." Lance says and Keith rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, for that one person mildly interested."

"It's two hundred, actually." Pidge points out, "They like the skeptic part, and think you guys are attractive and have good chemistry." She shrugs, "Pretty sure they just wanna see you flirting some more."

"Wha-? It was one episode. We barely did anything. How do we have followers already?" Keith asks, flabbergasted.

"I posted other videos." Pidge admits, "Some videos of Hunk explaining different types of ghosts and one of Lance rambling about the haunted house next door to their apartment. It's all stupid shit but they ate it up." She side eyes keith, " _ Maybe _ you should check out our page."

" _ Maybe _ . Anyways, where are you taking us for this next trip?" He asks, unaware Pidge is starting to film them with her phone. She’s not exactly sure  _ how _ they don’t know because she’s being pretty fucking obvious but apparently they are too distracted by each other’s faces to notices the phone pointing at them. 

This is what happens when dorks have middle school crushes.

Still, depending on what they say, this could be a great preview to post for the next video.

"I'm glad you asked, Keith." Lance shoots him a cocky smile, "We're going down southto Kansas. Checking out the demon house where Sallie resides."

Keith's face drops, "...A demon...named Sallie? Sallie the demon?"

"Yu-p!" Lance nods, clearly proud of his choice. Which, to be fair,  _ someone _ in the room has to be but not even Pidge can muster up excitement for a demon named  _ Sallie _ located in  _ Kansas _ of all places. Jesus, even  _ Dorothy _ didn’t wanna stay in Kansas.

"What are we gonna do? Play jump rope or something?" Keith scoffs, making Pidge snort because  _ damn  _ she loves her asshole emo.

Lance glares. Apparently he didn’t appreciate it as much.

"Don't take a demon lightly, Keith! It almost made a husband murder his wife. It won't take as much convincing for me to murder you!"

"Whoa," The raven haired man raises his hands in mock surrender, "We have our differences, but  _ murder _ , Lance? Really?"

"Whatever. It's gonna be great and you're gonna love it and Pidge is gonna love the new gadgets we'll have by then."

" _ Fucking _ better, boy." She warns before turning her phone off. "Anyways, good job, guys. I think that will make a pretty good preview video."

Both boys go blanche. A far more noticeable thing on Lance than on Keith’s pale ass.

"Wait, what?" Lance looks at her, helplessly confused, “What?”

"Pidge, my hair is still wrapped in a towel!" Her resident emo cries out and she just shrugs.

"This is what happens when you are too into each other to notice the friend with a phone."

"This is bullshit. That’s not what happened, you always have your phone so it just doesn’t register anymore." Keith grumbles before lowering the towel to finish drying his hair, "Apparently I can't keep this on with you around." 

Pidge watches as Lance subtly stares at Keith, his eyes following the towel when he chucks it before going back to the man and his eyes go wide as something clicks for him.

“What the-?” Lance narrows his eyes at Keith, “Is that... _ do you have a mullet _ ?” He gawks, his voice going up about ten octaves for the question.

 

“...Do I?” Keith asks, looking to Pidge who just shrugs.

 

“You’re 80’s chic, I guess.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is filler and I'm so sorry for that. Honestly It's a miracle I got it out today since my house lost power (thank god dad lives nearby). It also took me forever just to give you FILLER bc! I got distracted with my Galra!Keith and Altean!LAnce arranged marriage AU....you know....as one does. Anyways, next one won't be filler.
> 
> ....Probably.  
> Also not that anyone cares or probably reads this part anyways but I made that eggplant dish last weekend and it was fucking BOMB AF which I already knew bc I, too, love that dish that is only served at one Italian restaurant in my town.


	6. Lance is personally wronged by Keith's hair decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance worries about Pidge and Keith's decision making skills

Lance is getting a little hysterical. Rightly so, if you ask him. 

“ _ WHY DOES HE HAVE A MULLET _ ?” He turns to a  _ very  _ amused Pidge, “I’m revoking your best friend card for this guy, Pidge, friends don’t let friends get  _ mullets _ !”

Pidge just shrugs, “Eh, we’ve kinda stayed out of each other’s hair choices. It’s why Keith let me go full Mulan on my hair when I was twelve.”

Lance is about ready to combust. “ _ WHAT _ ?”

Keith shrugs as well, like this isn’t all  _ absolutely appalling _ . “Yeah, she used to have long fluffy hair until one summer when she was really hot and my scissors were next to us because we were building a cardboard spaceship. She just sort of...loped it off. I might have egged her on.”

Well, ok, that’s sort of cute. The spaceship. Not letting his friend mutilate her hair.

A kindness obviously returned, jesus christ.

“After that I really enjoyed the hair so I just have a barber keep it this length. Also, technically now that I think about it, it wasn’t full mulan,” Pidge points out, “It was with scissors. I  _ would _ like to see how my hair would come out if it was cut by a sword, though.”

_ What? _

“I don’t have a sword but I recently sharpened one of my knives, it could probably cut your hair easily.” Keith offers and Lance is  _ losing his goddamn mind _ .

“Who decided it was safe to let you two live on your own!?” He shrieks, again. They are both pretty unfazed by it, but honestly, his throat is starting to hurt.

“My parents.”

“My brother.”

Lance looks to Keith confused, “Your  _ brother _ ?”

“Yes.” Keith answers in a way that doesn't allow for further questions. That’s fine, honestly, he’s more focused on the  _ mullet _ that is ruining the guy’s perfect looks.

Doesn’t he even care?

“Ugh, this is just painful. I’m going home. I’ll message you guys with the date we’re going so, you know, be prepared.” He eyes Keith, “And maybe get a haircut in the meantime.”

The raven haired man raises a brow, a smirk on his face, “Not a chance.”

“Oh, by the way, save up $100 for staying at the house overnight.” Lance adds, watching their jaws drop.

“WHAT!?” They shriek and Lance backs up towards the door.

“W-well...you know...it costs money...to stay the night. $100 a person. We have to bring our own stuff to sleep in and food to eat. I’ll cover the food and gas to get down there.” He offers and Pidge looks at him curiously.

“How are you even affording this?”

“Are you independently wealthy?” Keith asks, “Because if you are…”

“Trust me, I’m not. We just make decent money and are good at penny pinching. You two are, too, aren’t you?”

Pidge and Keith share a look that says they really aren’t. “Sometimes.” They mutter awkwardly and Lance rolls his eyes.

“Well, you will need $100 for the night stay and it’s an 18 hour drive so get ready for big fun.” Lance grins, receiving unamused looks from them both.

Pidge goes over to a spot, opening a book and hitting a sequence of...buttons? The book pages crack open and she pulls out $200 before handing it to him, “Get the equipment, set up the date, and we will be there.” She looks to Keith, “We’ll probably need to take a week off of work.”

The mullet man shrugs, “That’s fine, I guess.”

“Cool,” Lance looks down at the money in his hands as excitement begins to well in his chest, “ _ Cool _ .”

“Ok, get out.” Pidge says, pointing to the door, “Keith and I have a budget to discuss.”

Lance frowns, “If you guys can’t afford it-”

“It’s fine.” Keith interrupts, side-eyeing Pidge, “She just has to limit her late night impulse purchases.”

“You, too, fucker.” She huffs before smiling at Lance, “Seriously, though, it’s fine.”

“If you insist…” He frowns, heading out of the apartment. It’s going to be expensive, he knows, and it’s his dream not theirs, but he really wants them to go.

Arriving at home he sees Hunk cooking dinner, shooting him a warm smile that makes him feel a little better.

“So where did you run off to in such a hurry?” Hunk asks and Lance blushes.

“To see...Pidge.” He holds out the money, “Her and Keith paid up.” It’s Hunk’s turn to blush now and he stares at the food he’s cooking awkwardly.

“I-I can’t believe you guys tried to bribe me with that.”

“I can't believe  _ Keith  _ came up with it.” Lance scoffs and Hunk smiles at him fondly.

“I don't think I've seen you pull your crush’s pigtails in years.”

“I don’t have a  _ crush _ on  _ Keith _ .” He leans in towards Hunk and whispers in disgust, “Did you know he has a  _ mullet _ ?”

Hunk raises a brow, “Is that what it is? I saw him with his hair down a little while ago, I think it’s cute on him.”

Lance sputters for a moment, face bright red, “J-just because he doesn’t look  _ terrible  _ in a mullet, doesn’t mean it’s ok!”

“...Doesn’t it, though?” Hunk counters and Lance is absolutely  _ done _ with today and Keith’s hair choices and just  _ everything _ .

“I’m going online and getting some paranormal stuff.”

“There’s a bundle sale right now,” The taller teen calls as Lance stomps towards the living room, “On that site you like, better snatch it up!”

“Fucking  _ sweet _ !” Lance exclaims and grabs up his laptop from the couch, “At least  _ something _ good is happening today.”

He orders the supplies and schedules a time for them to visit the Sallie House, shooting Pidge a text with the date; December 16th. They will leave on the 14th, that Friday, and come home Monday. That way they all only miss two, maybe three, days of work. Once he has it all set and finishes texting with Pidge he looks at the confirmation email, a large grin on his face when Hunk returns to the room with homemade pizza.

“We’re going to a real place, a  _ real  _ place. We’re going to spend the night in a haunted house and we’re gonna  _ really do this _ .” He grins up at Hunk, “A real place.”

His friend smiles back and hands him a slice, “Technically that factory was a real place, too.”

“Yeah, but that place was just...it was nothing.” Lance looks down at the booking receipt, “I want to show Keith a  _ real _ haunted house. A  _ real  _ ghost.”

Hunk lets out a quiet chuckle as he sits beside Lance, “What about Pidge?”

“W-well... _ obviously  _ her, too.” He huffs, ignoring the heat rising to his face.

“Ok...so follow up question.”

“Yup.”

“Are we getting hotels Friday and Sunday? It’s an 18 hour drive and I don’t think it’s fair to anyone if we go a full 18 without rest...:” Hunk points out and Lance shrugs.

“We will if we need to. We can find a cheap room I’m sure.”

“This is gonna be fun.”  His friend gives him a truly pleased smile and Lance’s grin practically splits his face.

“This is gonna be  _ awesome _ .”

“For the record...when people want to woo someone, they usually use flowers and kind words,” Hunk smirks, “Not taunting and haunted houses.”

“First of all, I’m not trying to ‘woo’ Keith, I’m just trying to show him he’s wrong and stupid. Secondly, if the person I want to woo isn’t totally seduced by going to haunted houses then they are not worth my time.”

“Luckily for you Keith enjoys it.”

Lance chucks a pillow at Hunk’s face as he laughs, “You're not funny! This isn't about stupid boys with mullets, this is about  _ demons _ ! Which are  _ way _ better!”

“I don’t know,” Hunk teases, “That boy with a mullet is pretty cute.”

Lance scoffs, “Yeah, if you're blind and have no taste.”

“You shouldn't say such harsh things about yourself.” Hunk elbows him playfully, “If we have to share beds, I’ll make sure you can share one with him, because I am the best bro.”

“No, nope, no way. You are officially the worst bro.”   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry this took so long. I got super busy with work and then I got two little kittens; both long haired, one tiger colored boy named Laith and a cream colored boy named Hunk. Anyways, I was told they were old enough (they weren't, only 6 weeks old) and I Was told they were potty trained (also a no) and then POOR HUNK WAS SICK so I've been pretty busy. Also my Pom Pidge got fixed, so I've been playing nurse to all the babies.
> 
> I even forgot my birthday on Tuesday lol.
> 
> Anyways, I'm super sorry about that. Definitely not gonna be a regular thing. (On a side note, how for those who watch Buzzfeed Unsolved which I'm assuming are all of you, how great is the mothman episode?)


	7. Keith will literally fight you on the difference between hotel and motel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith gets to know Lance during the road trip to Kansas

Keith stares hard at Lance’s car as he and Hunk pull up, he’s too tired to glare or show any signs of his  _ utter disdain  _ for the fact they are up at 6 in the goddamn morning to drive to fucking Kansas,  _ Kansas of all places! _ Not even Dorothy wanted to be in Kansas! Now he has to get up at 6 in the morning and drive in a car for 18 fucking hours to go to this god forsaken state.

“I have coffee?” Lance offers, noticing his exhausted stare, “Pidge said you liked it with a shit ton of french vanilla creamer, so…”

Keith shuffles towards the car door and takes the coffee from his hand before crawling into the back seat as Pidge and Hunk pack their stuff, somehow awake and functioning perfectly fine.

To be fair, though, he’s pretty sure Pidge just hasn’t slept yet.

Hunk, however, has no excuse and while Keith likes the guy he can’t even look at him right now.

“Not a morning person, huh?” Lance asks and Keith just silently stares him down, hoping he takes the hint and shuts up. It’s too early to form words. “Ok, sure, I get it. Go ahead and go back to sleep,” He gestures to his waded up hoodie next to Keith, “You can use that as a pillow if you want, since all the actual ones are in the trunk.”

“Hey guys.” Pidge gets inside the car in the passenger's seat as Hunk gets in next to Keith who immediately plops his head on the guy’s shoulder. “Well, Keith’s down the for count for at least a few hours.”

“He’s not asleep yet.” Hunk says and Keith lets out a grunt before completely passing out.

He wakes up when they are getting gas, somehow wrapped up in Lance’s hoodie with his face buried in Hunk’s shoulder. Letting out a small groan he sits up and wipes the sleep from his eyes.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Lance smirks from the window, “Want me to grab you a drink while I pay?”

“Get him some orange juice.” Pidge says, handing him a couple dollars as Keith tries to wake up enough to form words, “It’s gonna be awhile before he’s fully coherent.”

“Gotcha.” Lance heads into the store and Keith leans back in his seat, looking at the hoodie wrapped around his shoulders.

“Why is this here?” Keith asks and both Hunk and Pidge smirk.

“About ten minutes after you fell asleep you started muttering about being cold and grabbed it to wrap around yourself.” Hunk explains.

“He’s pretty much a zombie in the mornings.” Pidge says, looking to him amused. “A zombie who wanted to cuddle with Lance’s hoodie.”

“Please, it was the only thing around.” Keith grumbles before Lance gets back in with all their drinks.

“Alright, 4 hours down, 14 to go!” Lance exclaims and Keith raises a brow.

“We’re gonna drive the 18 hours straight? We’ll get there at midnight.”

“Yup!”

“No hotel will let us in at midnight.”

“Pidge booked one about an hour ago, let them know we’d be arriving at midnight.”

Keith eyes her, “What did you book?”

“You’ll see.” Pidge grins and Keith frowns when he notices the droop in her eyes.

“Why don’t we switch spots so you can nap?” He offers and Pidge goes to say something smart, but is too tired so she drops it and nods. Once Pidge gets into the back Keith chucks the hoodie at her, “Here ya go, the communal blanket.”

Pidge just snickers, wrapping it around herself and curling up against Hunk who stares in awe. She falls asleep quickly, just like he had, and Hunk looks to Keith.

“Wh-what do I do?”

“Just sit there,” Keith says, grabbing the juice Lance bought him as they pull back onto the road, “She’s been awake for 30 hours so she’s gonna be dead to us for a while. Until she needs food.”

“Fair enough. She can drive tonight.” Lance decides and Hunk yawns in the back seat.

“Think I’m gonna take a nap, too. All these people sleeping on me is making me wanna sleep.”

Keith smiles at him, “Go ahead, man.”

Soon enough it’s just Lance and Keith, sitting awkwardly in the car, Keith holding Lance’s cell with the GPS to take them there.

“So are we just gonna sit in silence the whole time they are asleep?” Lance asks after about half an hour of awkward quiet.

“Apparently not.” Keith looks over to Lance, “Anything in particular you wanna talk about?” He asks, noticing Lance’s eyes venture to his hair, “Except my mullet, Lance, I swear to god.”

“Ok, ok, so...21 questions?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

Lance is silent for a moment, but Keith is pretty sure he already knows what he’s going to ask. “Favorite color.”

“Lame.”

“I’m starting small, Keith. For your sake.”

Keith rolls his eyes, “It’s red. Yours?”

“Blue.”

“Of course.”

Lance nods, “Of course.”

“Ghosts or cryptids?” Keith asks and he sees the light in Lance’s eyes.

“ _ Keith _ ,” He grins, “Oh my god.”

“Answer the question, dork.”

“Ghosts. 100%.” Lance says and Keith laughs.

“Of course ghosts. Why would it be cryptids that have, like,  _ some _ logic to them?”

“ _ Oh my god _ ,” The teen next to him beams at Keith, “You believe in cryptids.  _ Oh my god, Keith _ .”

“Calm down, Lance.” Keith rolls his eyes, “I don't flatout  _ believe _ they are real. I just think they have a much bigger chance of being real than fucking ghosts.” He hesitates for a second and then mumbles under his breath, “Mothman is definitely real, though…”

_ “Ohhhh my god, Keith, this is the best _ .” Lance practically swoons, “We definitely will be doing an episode on mothman. No doubt. Absolutely have to.”

“God, you’re so fucking weird.” Keith groans, but inside he’s actually really excited at the idea of looking for mothman. He’s also grateful Pidge is asleep because she’s got a lot of dirt on him with the mothman.

Like how Keith wanted to marry him when they were little.

To be fair, though, who  _ doesn't _ want a husband who can fly?

“This is incredible.” Lance grins, “Ok, ok, new question. Umm...what...kind of under-”

“Oh my god, Lance, just fucking ask about my brother like I know you’re dying to.”

The brunette looks to him surprised, “How did you…?”

“Asking to do 21 questions suggests you have at least  _ one  _ question you really wanna know. I figured it was that.”

Lance laughs awkwardly, “Yeah, it was. So..um..I don’t really know how to phrase it…?”

“Maybe something like ‘hey, Keith, why is your brother the one giving you permission for things?’” He offers and Lance nods. “Well, obviously, my parents are dead, Lance. When I was twelve they died and he took care of me.”

“How old is he?”

“Twenty-seven. He was nineteen at the time of their death and I guess if you are eighteen or older you can adopt? It was weird but I guess it worked out.”

“How did they…?”

“I’d rather not get into that.” Keith mutters and Lance nods.

“Yeah, no, that’s absolutely fine. Sorry for bringing it up.”

“Technically I did.”

“...Right.” Lance mutters, and Keith would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying the brunette’s discomfort. “Y-your turn.”

Keith thinks for a minute. He’s not really sure what he would want to know about Lance, honestly. 

Well, ok, there is one thing he wants to know.

“Men or women?”

“Both.” Lance answers easily and Keith looks to him surprised.

“Both?”

“Yup, I’m bi. I like girls, and I like guys.” He grins at the no doubt shocked look on Keith’s face, “And you?”

“Um, just guys.” Keith admits, feeling his face heat up, “It’s just..um...guys.”

“First kiss?” Lance asks and Keith sort of hates himself for turning the conversation to this. 

“Um...well…” Keith looks out the window and mutters, “I haven’t really…”

“Oh.” Lance says before his eyes suddenly light up, “ _ Oohhh. _ So you’ve never dated?”

“No, I’ve dated, but it was when I was young and didn’t really understand what I was doing or what I wanted to do.” Keith admits, “So we held hands a few times, hugged, and I think one of them kissed me on the cheek once. My first boyfriend, Darren, asked me out on the bus and then for the next six months we literally never talked to each other. We were eleven and didn’t understand what we were feeling and I was kind of busy dealing with my parents deaths, so…”

“Oh.” Lance looks to him curiously, “How many have you dated?”

“Um...technically...three? Darren who I never talked to, then we broke up and just stopped talking altogether. Neither of us were ready for…”

“Dating?”

“A boy.” Keith shrugs, “He’d dated girls but I was his first boyfriend, and we both liked each other but neither of us were ready.”

“And the second guy?” Lance asks, looking genuinely intrigued.

“I was fifteen, we were friends, he was the one I genuinely dated and enjoyed. It only lasted a summer, though. Never kissed. He wasn’t...ready for that and neither was I. At the end of summer we mutually broke up because he didn’t want people to think he was gay and I didn’t want to catch flack for ‘making him gay’.” Keith admits, growing wistful. Francis was a nice guy, and a good friend. “He’s actually married now. Got a girl pregnant senior year.”

Lance laughs a little, “Guess he should’ve stuck with dudes.”

Keith laughs some, “Bet he wishes he had.”

“And the last guy?” Lance asks and Keith groans.

“Ugh, him. His name was Alex, he moved in next door to Pidge and I when we still lived with our families and I thought he was attractive but I didn’t really want to do anything about it, but I was basically tossed into it because he just kept popping up everywhere. So I gave in and went on a movie date with him. We were together one week. Our second date was at a park with Pidge, where he told me he loved me after knowing me for  _ three weeks _ and dating for  _ two days _ . Then that weekend he came over to my place drunk and tried to make out with me but I didn’t want to and Pidge was right there so she sort of...sicked a robot on him.” He smiles fondly at the memory of Pidge’s microwave robot totally kicking his ass.

“Jesus.” Lance looks at him, “That’s awful.”

Keith shrugs, “It wasn’t too bad, until he started kind of stalking me and popping into my house at random times. I had to start locking the door at all times until one day he got inside and my brother got home and saw him and slammed him into the wall. If Matt hadn’t been there he probably would have killed him.”

“What was he doing?”

“Hovering over me while I was browsing facebook, or something. He wasn’t touching me at all, but that was when Shiro realized he’d been harassing me and he just lost his shit. That was the summer after high school and a few months later I moved into my apartment with Pidge so it doesn’t matter much now. Still kinda awkward when I see him in his yard when I visit home, though.”

“What abou-?”

“Ohhh no, we’re done with questions about me.” Keith says, looking at Lance. “I talked about my love life, it’s your turn. First kiss, dates, all that fun shit. Go.”

He laughs awkwardly, “Well, I’ve had one kiss, two dates, and one girlfriend.” His eyes suddenly become very focused on the road, “I was ten when a girl told me she liked me and just kinda pulled me into a kiss. We sorta knew each other, but not well, and I didn’t like her like that. I think I actually cried when she pulled away, because I wanted my first kiss to be with someone special and I had a crush on a boy in class named Josh.”

Keith laughs, “Your first and only kiss was from some pushy little kid?”

“I’m sure she thought it was romantic.” Lance shrugs.

“It could have been, if you liked her.”

“I didn’t, though, so it was just scary.” He sighs, “When I was sixteen I met a pretty girl named Nyma from another school nearby. Her and her friend Rolo were sort of stranded on the side of the road because his tire blew, so Hunk and I helped them out and I flirted with her the entire time. She gave me her number, I picked her up for a date, and she left me stranded at the lake, tied me to the tree with my belt and stole my wallet.”

Keith laughs even harder, tears forming in his eyes, “Oh my god, no! That’s hilarious!”

“It is not!” Lance whines, “It was my first date! My first date! She tied me to a goddamn tree, Keith!”

Keith laughs louder, “I bet you thought you were in for some kinky fun! Then she stole your wallet!”

“Shut up!” Lance goes bright red. “This is bullshit, why do I have to share? None of yours were embarrassing.”

Keith calms down a little and just smiles over at him, “You wanted to know. If I share mine you share yours. So share  the last one, loverboy.”

Lance groans, “My last one was a boy...who lived in Russia.” He sighs, “We met on WoW and just really clicked and he was so sweet and  _ hot _ and it was awesome for a few months...but then the magic faded and he became miserable. He’d get pissed at me for no reason and start lashing out on me until I calmed him down. Finally, he did that and after I calmed him down he got angry again because I kept calming him down when he was mad at me and I realized...I don’t want this. I broke up with him shortly after.”

“You have shit luck.” Keith blurts out, earning a hurt look from Lance, “Ah, um, sorry. I don’t have much better.”

“That’s true. A couple of boys too afraid to be gay and then a stalker.”

“I still get nervous at Shiro’s place.” Keith admits and Lance smiles a little.

“Maybe you can make friends with the demon Sallie and sick her on him.”

“Or maybe I can be a normal human being and just ignore him.”

They fall silent for a bit until a loud growl fills the entire car and they look back to see Pidge’s eyes blinking open.

“Adorable.” Lance whispers and Keith laughs a little, nodding. 

“Shut up, asswipe.” Pidge grumbles 

“It’s always ruined when she speaks.” Keith teases and she flips him off. 

“You getting hungry, Pidge?” Lance asks and Pidge rolls her eyes.

“Nooo, my stomach just decided to roar like an angry lion for fun.” She huffs and Hunk yawns beside her.

“You know, it’s 2 o'clock we should really eat something already.” He mutters sleepily and Keith puts in a search on Lance’s phone for food.

“There’s a McDonald’s about ten minutes from here.” Keith offers and Pidge’s stomach growls. “Mickey D’s it is.”

Not too long after they are getting out at the fast food place, everyone running for the bathroom before going and placing their orders. They sit at a booth in the back and Lance begins taking pictures of everyone.

“Keith, don't scowl! You are happy to be here with me!” Lance scolds and Keith raises a brow.

“Am I? Weird, I didn’t  _ think _ I was.”   


“Ten more hours, Keith. Keep your chin up.” Hunk smiles and Keith pouts.

“That’s ten hour too much.”

“Why don’t you drive next?” Pidge offers, “Time probably goes by faster when you are driving. Besides, I’m sure Lance needs a nap.”

“No way! I’m way too excited to take a nap!” Lance says, grinning, “This is awesome!”

“I give it an hour.” Hunk says, smirking at his best friend.

“Twenty minutes.” Pidge suggests.

“Ten.” Keith looks at Lance, “Definitely ten minutes of riding in the back with Hunk and he’ll be out.”

It takes Lance eleven minutes and Keith is 100% sure that extra minute is simply out of spite.

The rest of the ride is pretty dull and by the time they get there the only place opened is pretty much McDonalds, again, so they grab some of that and Pidge drives them to their place for the night.

“It’s a hotel, right?” Keith asks and Pidge groans

“For the millionth time, yes, Keith, it is a hotel. Calm down.”

Finally they pull up to...a red roof inn.

A  _ red roof fucking inn _ .

“KATIE! MOTHER-FUCKING! HOLT!” Keith fumes as she doubles over in laughter, “IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS A FUCKING RED ROOF INN A  _ HOTEL _ !?”

“But...it is.” Lance says and Hunk nods.

“Yeah, I mean, it even has another word for hotel in its name.”

“Uhoh.” Pidge breathes out between laughs as Keith loses his  _ fucking mind _ .

“First of all, the word inn doesn’t mean  _ shit _ hotel-wise! This place is a fucking motel!” Keith complains when Hunk returns with their keys and they get their stuff out. “See how the doors are outside? That’s a fucking  _ motel _ . One of those places you will probably find a body or several different body fluids on your fucking bed.”

“Keith is a lodgings snob.” Pidge explains, “The difference between hotels and motels is literally like his  _ biggest _ pet peeve. Shiro had to stop him from punching a desk clerk once at a motel when they called themselves a hotel. He was, like, thirteen and ready to kill the poor guy.”

“You’re a fucking dick, Pidge.” Keith grumbles as he goes into the room and then screams, “I take it back, you are a  _ goddamn bitch _ !”

“Holy shit he’s brutal. Why-?” Lance comes in and sees what Keith is so pissed about. Two twin beds. 

How the shit are they going to fit on two twin beds?

“Well, we aren’t rich.” Pidge points out, sitting down on one of the mattresses, “I figured Hunk and I can share a bed, and you two can.”

“No way. I’m sleeping with you.” Keith insists, getting nervous. He’s never shared a bed with anyone but Pidge or Shiro. Or Matt that one time. The idea of sharing a bed with a guy he doesn’t know too well,  _ an attractive bisexual guy _ , is literal hell and he’s not okay with any of this. 

His best friend is clearly the devil.

“No can do, Keith. Hunk and Lance can’t fit on a bed together. Lance’s shoulders alone take up half the fucking bed.” Pidge points out and Keith eyes the teen. 

Curse him and his broad ass shoulders. 

Fucking

Lance.

Keith’s eyes wander over to the mattress and he glares at it, “This is bullshit.How are we supposed to fit in there together?”

“Spooning, obviously.” Hunk and Pidge suggest together a little too quickly and Keith eyes then suspiciously. 

They fucking planned this.

“You are monsters.” He looks to Lance, who has been eerily quiet this entire time, and notices the dark flush of his face. Well, at least he’s awkward about it, too.

“Let’s eat, drink, and sleep!” Pidge suggests, holding up her cup as if for a toast before gulping it down. “McDonalds coke is the best coke.”

“You're so weird.”Keith mutters and crawls into his bed, sitting against the wall before pulling out his chicken tenders.

“So what are we doing before the Sallie house tomorrow?” Hunk asks and Lance grins.

“I’m so glad you asked, my dear friend! They have some haunted tours and houses and a cemetery and a haunted hotel and-!”

“We do  _ not _ have the money for all this shit.” Pidge points out, “Why don’t we just sight-see before we go?”

“OH!” Lance gasps, “A CHURCH! We need to go to the church and get some holy water!”

Keith bursts out laughing, quickly followed by Pidge. “Oh my god, Lance! How are you even real?”

“Safety first, Keith!” Lance huffs, crossing his arms, “You’ll be thanking me when I scare the demon off before it eats your nasty soul.”

“My hero!” Keith gasps out between laughter.

They stay up for a few more hours watching tv, browsing the internet, and generally relaxing. Pidge is the first to drop, mostly out of boredom, then Hunk follows soon after. Keith is exhausted, and he can see Lance is as well, but neither can bring themselves to get under the covers. 

“I, um….” Lance begins and Keith flinches, caught off guard by the sudden noise.

“Yes, Lance?” Keith asks, hoping he didn’t notice. Luckily, it doesn’t look like he did.

“I wanted to thank you...for coming.” Lance mutters, “And for pitching in for the equipment, and hotel-”

“ _ Motel.” _ Keith growls.

“Right, right, motel. I just, I know you don’t believe in this stuff and we don’t really know each other that well, but I really do appreciate it.” Lance whispers and Keith finds himself smiling a little.

“I want to be here, Lance, I’m not doing you any favors. Same with Pidge.” He looks down at their blankets, “On that note, we need to get some sleep.”

“Yeah, um, yeah let’s go to sleep.” Lance says and they both move to pull the covers back and get in. “Good night, Keith.”

“Good night, Lance.”

“Be prepared to meet a fucking demon and eat your words.”

Keith laughs a little, kicking Lance’s leg playfully, “Get ready to accept we wasted a weekend to spend the night in a random house in  _ Kansas _ of all fucking places.”

“Shut up, you know you’re loving this.”   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I, too, will fight you over the difference between hotel and motel. I, too, wanted to punch out a desk clerk for calling their seedy ass motel a hotel.
> 
> Also, yes, these boys have the saddest dating histories in the world. 
> 
> ....Keith's is mine. Haha...ha. (obviously not the same names, though)
> 
> Next chapter will be ghost hunting YEEAAAHHHHHH


	8. Hunk just wants Lance to flirt like a normal person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunk wants Lance to be happy, he does, but he's not quiet sure arguing conspiracy theories with your crush in Amelia Earhart's birth home is the best way to go about it.

There's a light rustling between Hunk and the wall, it's not much but coupled with the sun peaking in through the thin curtains it's enough to get him stirring. He wonders momentarily if Pidge is just moving in her sleep, but when he opens his eyes to check he sees her wide awake, sitting up against the wall with her legs across his back and one of their camcorders, a camera, and her phone at the ready. 

“Oh, shit, sorry. I didn't mean to wake you.” She says quietly, giving him an apologetic smile and he just grins back.

“No problem. What time is it?”

“Ten.”

“What are you staring at?” Hunk asks and Pidge moves her legs off him with a smirk.

“Check it out.” She says,pointing towards the other bed.

Doing as she says, he turns and sits up to get a better look, immediately having to suppress a coo at how  _ CUTE  _ their best friends are right now.

Lance is turned away from them, his body curled around Keith's and his arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders. He can't see because of the blankets but there's no way their legs aren't tangled together if the indents are anything to go by. Keith's hands are under his own head, arms trapped between his and Lance's chests. It's fairly obvious this was all Lance's doing and he can't help but smile at his best friend. 

Poor Lance has had the literal  _ worst _ luck in relationships. For fucks sake his first, and only, kiss was forced upon him by a girl he didn't even like. After it Lance had actually asked Hunk to kiss him, so she wasn't his only one, but he had assured his best friend that eventually he'll find someone and be happy Hunk didn't give in to his incessant whining.

Of course he's not saying that's gonna be Keith, obviously. Definitely not anytime soon since last he checked Keith thought Lance was straight. 

Still, looking at the two of them sleeping so peacefully, he can't help but hope that maybe it will be Keith. He loves Keith and has no doubts they would be great together.

“Dude this is so getting used somewhere on their wedding day.” Pidge snickers and Hunk laughs.

“I hope so.”

“The projector shit is lame but we'll find a way go make it work.”

Hunk looks to her excited, “What if we do, like, pictures all through the reception room? Like across the walls. Pictures of their time together. That way there's no cheesy music and people can enjoy it at their leisure.”

“ _ Yes,  _ oh my god Hunk,  _ yes _ . It's decided. We're gonna do that and put little captions under them. Obviously pull some stills from our ghost hunting stuff.” Pidge is beaming, more excited than him, “I  _ need _ this wedding to happen.”

“Hmm...is Keith the marrying type, though? Or into big weddings? Because Lance has always wanted a big wedding. Like, file for bankruptcy the next day kind of wedding.” Hunk explains and Pidge raises a brow.

“...Why…?” Her face drops, as if she just answered her own question which she probably did since she's familiar with his flair for the dramatics, and she sighs, “Well, Keith is a closet romantic. He had a wedding planned out for him and mothman when we were little, but it was a pretty small affair. Dunno if that's his personal taste or if it's because he didn't want Mothman to be overwhelmed...but...honestly, I think he'd be happy with whatever made his husband happy. He's kind of a sap like that.”

Hunk looks over and smiles at Keith, “He's such a good guy….wait….mothman?”

“The less you know the better. If you want to keep any respect for him, at least.” Pidge laughs, followed by Hunk, because, really,  _ mothman _ ?

The noise is enough to make Keith begin to wake up, though, so they quickly go silent and watch. 

Pidge pulls out the camcorder, muttering something about blackmail. No doubt she’s already probably got enough from before he woke up to last a while, but he knows she’s the type who believes excess in something is better than a lack in something. 

Keith, who was just relaxed and peaceful suddenly tenses up, his eyes springing open to come face to face with  _ probably _ Lance's chest. Maybe his neck? Hunk can't really get a good view on where the guy's eyes are in relation to his best friends torso. Still, he sees  _ some  _ part of Lance and goes to jump back, only to be held there by aforementioned teens strong grip on his shoulders.

“Pidge, stop snickering and _ get him off. _ ” Keith grumbles and Pidge bursts into laughter, her head falling back to bang into the wall, but it doesn’t halt her for a second.

“I think you're in a better position to do that than me, buddy!”

“ _ Oh my god _ !” Keith yells and becomes horrified to see Lance now sleepily looking down at him, processing the situation.

“What the shit, dude!?” Lance gasps, moving away from Keith and falling off the bed.

“This is the best.” Pidge decides and Hunk nods as Keith and Lance both scramble to get on opposite sides of the room. 

Well, Lance does. Keith kind of just scrambles to a corner on the bed. Lance runs to the door.

“Where are you planning to go in your pajamas, bro?” Hunk asks and Lance groans. 

“Why didn't you wake us sooner!?” Keith asks, glaring hard at Pidge.

“Well, we would have, but we were busy planning for your wedding.”

“Our  _ what _ !?” Lance shrieks, “The only one planning my wedding is  _ me _ .” He huffs before going bright red, “A-and it won't be to a non believer like  _ Keith. _ ”

Keith rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, “Like I'd marry an idiot who believes in ghosts anyways.”

Hunk and Pidge share a knowing smirk, before Hunk decides to get the day going. “So what's the plan until we go to the Sallie house?”

Lance smiles at him, embarrassment quickly forgotten, “I've got an awesome day planned! We have until about 3:30. Let's check out of this place and go venture around. I found a great restaurant in town that's cheap and we can window shop and then we  _ have  _ to go to Amelia Earhart’s birthplace at some point. It’s a museum and really cheap, only $6 an adult.” 

“Great!” Hunk looks to the other two, Keith still glaring down a smirking Pidge, “Hey, Pidge, why don’t you shower first?” He suggests, figuring she probably doesn’t want to go after a bunch of guys.

“Sure, I’ll go first.” She shrugs, walking around him on the mattress before plopping down on the floor and heading to the bathroom with her bag, “I won’t be long.”

“Keith you can go next.” Hunk suggests and Keith nods, but Lance glares.

“Why do  _ they _ get to go first?”

“Because they aren’t  _ water wasting nymphs _ like someone I know.” 

“Nymphs are women you know.” Lance narrows his eyes and Hunk laughs.

After they all showered and checked out, Lance directed them through the town taking selfies everywhere as they visit different places like a few stores, a nice little restaurant, a beautiful park and currently the house Amelia Earhart was born in.  Where Keith and Lance are arguing about what happened to her. Of course.

Honestly, Hunk is just impressed with how much Lance knows about her. Then again, this was a place Lance suggested, pretty eagerly, so he probably did research. Really, the way Lance is flirting with this guy is so weird. Usually he just uses his lame pickup lines, but now he’s doing  _ research _ on things just to annoy Keith.

It’s like pulling the pigtails but studying how to do it properly first.

“-They are gonna comb that ocean, baby, and find they aren’t in there because the plane  _ didn't sink _ , Keith!” Lance exclaims, throwing his arms out and up, to accentuate his point.

“You can't  _ comb _ the ocean you idiot! Just accept that she  _ fucking drowned _ !” 

“She didn’t! There’s so many alternative theories!” Lance says and Keith groans so loudly that Hunk can hear a person a few rooms over giggle. “Do you even know about the theory where her and her navigator landed on an island?”

Keith lets out a heavy, suffering, sigh and just looks at Lance incredulously, “No, enlighten me, I guess.”

“So there’s this island called Gardner, or Nikumaroro, Island and people think they got stranded there. It was in the general area and at low tide there was a spot that could have worked as an emergency landing strip.” Lance pulls out his phone to show Keith a picture.

“Huh, that’s actually not stupid.” The man concedes. 

“ _ Excuse you _ .” Lance glares, “Anyways, a man named Gerald Gallagher went there much later and found a campsite. He also found a bunch of other stuff like shoe soles and bones and had them tested,” Lance sighs, “But the soles were too big for Amerlia’s feet, even though they were a brand she had worn, and the bones weren’t ruled to be her or that navigator so he burned them.”

Keith raises a brow, “Why would he burn them…?”

Lance shrugs, “I dunno, guess he was done. It wasn’t them so he just tossed it out.”

“...So he burns them? They belonged to  _ someone _ .” The raven haired man shakes his head, “So disrespectful…”

“Yeah, and then later this group called Tighar determined the bones could have belonged to a taller than average woman. And who was a taller than average woman?” Lance motions dramatically to an Amelia mannequin in the room, “Our babe in the sky! They also tried to figure out what happened to the rest of the bones and stuff and according to the director of Tighar, the coconut crabs took them.” He shows Keith a picture of coconut crabs and the guy’s face lights up.

“I like this theory. Shipwrecked on an island.”

“You just like the idea they were eaten by crabs.” Pidge points out with a smirk and Keith shrugs.

“I mean it’s pretty fucking cool. Shipwrecked and facing all the dangers and perils that come with that, and then you get eaten by these gigantic strong crabs. Definitely more interesting than just drowning.”

“Right?”  Lance grins excitedly, “There’s other theories too, of course. A man thought Amelia was a spy, who was told that if anything happened she needed to land in the Marshall Islands so that American planes could come look for her in Japanese territory. The locals even claimed to see her crash there, and that things got fucked when they were caught and held prisoner for a long ass time before being released back to America under assumed names. People thought this one woman was Amelia and released a book about it, and she sued. I think her name was Irene...Bolam? Idk, but anyways-”

“This is dumb.” Keith blurts out, “That whole idea is fucking stupid. I mean jesus, could you imagine people being like ‘You’re Amelia Earhart! I know it, and I’m gonna tell the world!’ and don’t even get me started on the hostages freed with different names. Why would they need different names? This is fucking bullshit.”

Lance laughs a little, “That’s a little harsh...but they also have another ending to this theory where they were executed. People claimed to see Amelia’s plane and they even have a photo that might have Amelia and Noonan in it.” He pulls out his phone and shows Keith the photo that he has  _ way too _ readily available, just like the rest of this stuff.

Yup, Hunk was right. Lance planned this.

….Why can’t he just ask Keith out to the movies or something? They are starting to draw a crowd.

Still, Keith looks at the photo, too absorbed in their conversation to notice the people subtly loitering outside the door now, “ That photo is shit, dude. I don’t care what they think.”

“Well….I mean...yeah...they found out the photo was taken a few years before her expedition.” Lance shrugs, “They also say she didn’t have enough fuel to get to those islands, so-”

“So...you’re wasting my time.” Keith says before gesturing to Hunk and Pidge, “You’re wasting everyone’s time now.”

Lance laughs a little, “Well I like the theory.”

“That’s great, so glad you like it,” The sarcasm in Keith’s voice is almost obnoxious, but his amused smile gives away how much he’s enjoying himself right now, “But maybe give us something better than bullshit.”

Lance flips him off and goes silent for a moment before smirking at Keith, “Well...there is one more theory I know of that’s pretty popular.”

“Oh boy.” Keith mutters, “Bring it on, I guess.”

“Some people think she came in contact with aliens,” He says and Keith cuts him off.

“I don’t even wanna talk about that.”

“What? Why?”

“Look, Aliens are more likely than  _ all the other shit _ you believe in...but...no. Just no.”

“Alright, fine, fair enough.” Lance shrugs, “Still though, Star Trek made an episode based off of the idea, which is pretty cool.”

“I didn’t know you were such a  _ nerd _ , Lance.” Keith teases.

“If you shit on Star Trek, Keith, I will have to politely ask that you  _ catch these hands _ .” Lance says and Keith straight up laughs.

“That was great,” Pidge begins, holding up her phone, “I got it all on camera, so we can put it up as like some side thing.”

Lance and Keith look at her appalled.

“Stop filming us without our consent, damnit!” Keith yells and Lance nods.

“Seriously I would have gotten stuff prepared if I knew!”

“Nah, your natural little banter is perfect on it’s own. I’ll add pics and stuff before posting it.”

Hunk’s so grateful she decided to join them in this whole thing. Honestly she’s the most on top of it. Next to Lance. Maybe above Lance.

“Nobody wants to see Lance prattling on about stupid theories, anyways.” Keith rolls his eyes before he notices people seemingly dispersing from the doorway, “What…?”

“Just some people who didn’t want to see Lance prattling on.” Pidge teases.

“People were watching us?” Keith asks, his face going a bright red.

“Aw yeah, my people love me.” Lance grins, elbowing Keith, “Guess you're the only loser who doesn’t care about this stuff.”

“We are in an Amelia Earhart museum, Lance. Obviously people here are gonna be into it.” 

“Look, you're jealous I’m so much better than you, and that’s fair, but don’t be hating on Amelia conspiracy theories.” Lance says, going up and wrapping an arm around the mannequin, “My girl here deserves peoples concern.” He goes to move away and ends up fumbling with the mannequin when it starts to fall over, making Keith laugh.

“Is that how you get all the men and women, Lance? Those  _ smooth moves _ .” 

Hunk looks at Keith confused, “Wait...how do you know Lance is bi?”

Keith and Lance blush and look in opposite directions, “We, um, we...played 21 questions when you two were asleep in the car. It sorta came up.”

Hunk, joined by Pidge, narrows his eyes in suspicion as the two awkwardly head into the next room. “What was with that reaction?” He asks and Pidge shrugs.

“Dunno, but they both know the other likes boys now...so they need to get their asses in gear.”

“Lance is literally trying to flirt with conspiracy theories, Pidge, I think it’s gonna take a while.” Hunk points out and Pidge groans. 

“Why can’t he be a normal fucking person?” They both go silent for a moment, left in the room alone. Suddenly they seemingly have the same idea, side eyeing each other, “Make them sleep next to each other at Sallie’s?”

“Oh, you know it.”

After all, the hotel plan was a success. No doubt ghosts added into the mix will bring even  _ greater  _ results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long it took me forever to decide what to do with it. I was gonna go straight to the ghost hunting but then I looked at stuff you can do for the day in Atchison just for like a scene and I was like 'oh shit Amelia Earhart' so I fucking jumped at that.
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER I PROMISE I AM SO SORRY
> 
> I fucking suck


	9. When Pidge met Sallie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally get to the house and Lance gives them the details, and Pidge finally gets to meet the gadgets.

Pidge is admittedly a little excited for tonight. The Sallie house is a lot more ‘legit’ than that stupid factory was so maybe something at least moderately spooky will happen.

Obviously not ghosts, but still. Anything to make their two resident believers freak out will make her  _ more  _ than happy. 

“So when do I get to see the new toys?” She asks, looking to Lance excitedly.

“Ah,ah,ah.” Lance wiggles his finger in her face, “No seeing them until we start filming.”

“ _ Tease _ .” Pidge practically hisses, making him laugh.

“It’s not too much longer.” Hunk points out placatingly, “Just half an hour before we go in for the night. Let’s grab some food and then head over.”

“Absolutely.” Keith agrees, heading into the front passenger seat as Hunk slides into the driver’s.

“Wha-? This is  _ my car _ !” Lance huffs and Hunk flashes him a smile.

“Keith and I did some research ourselves and found a nice spot for dinner.”

“B-but-! Wait, when did you have time to do that?” He asks indignantly and Keith shrugs.

“Around the time you and Pidge were fighting over if the mom from Grudge could beat the girl from The Ring.”

Pidge nods next to Lance in the back, “Makes sense, that did take about an hour.”

“With an extra hour after a woman with long black hair went by and reminded you losers about it.” Keith grumbles.

“Personally-” Hunk begins but Keith slams a hand over his mouth quickly.

“ _ Do not _ start this argument again!  _ Please _ !”

Lance and Pidge eye each other and she wants so badly to argue it again because  _ come on _ The Ring girl would obviously win, but she catches Keith eying her in the rear-view mirror and decides not to this time.

Later, though.

This shit isn’t over.

As promised, Keith and Hunk take them to a really nice little place, a BBQ. Hunk orders ribs, Lance and Keith both get taco Salads and Pidge gets wings and fries. Ok, so, only one of them actually got what they specialize in but still it was delicious so kudos to Hunk and Keith. 

After dinner they head over, both Hunk and Lance growing more excited with every second. Pidge, too, honestly. Finally she gets to check out that new equipment. 

Only Keith seems unfazed by it all. As expected.

They finally pull up the the house and Pidge side-eyes Lance with excitement. She wonders what stuff he bought. What do you even use for ghost hunting? Probably an infrared camera. That would just make sense.

_ Shit  _ she’s fucking  _ stoked _ .

Hunk and Lance grab the gear while Pidge goes with Keith to the car of a woman waiting for them to show her their papers. She covers the rules; no damage to the house, no eating, no candles, no flames of any kind, no cooking, smoking, pets, and finally no sleeping in the beds.

The last one is kinda weird but they nod and show her their sleeping bags that Lance and Hunk are fumbling with along with their tech gear. This seems to appease the woman and she allows hands them spare keys before heading out.

“ _ Wow _ ,” Lance breathes, suddenly behind Pidge, “This place is amazing. I can't believe we’re here.” He hands her a camcorder as Hunk hands Keith one. They all get them ready and Pidge snatches the stuff from Lance so he and Keith can do their thing. Their will-they-won’t-they-find-some-ghosts-but-also-start-dating kinda thing.

“It’s so tiny.” Keith observes, heading up to the porch, “I wonder if the ghosts feel crowded.”

“ _ Oh my god _ , we just got here and you're already starting with this bullshit. This is a fucking demon house, show some respect. I mean come on, don’t you feel strange at all here?” Lance groans and Keith shrugs.

“No, not really.” He says before grinning at Pidge and pulling out his phone, snapping pictures of him in front of the door.

“What are you doing…?” Lance sighs and Keith smirks at him.

“Taking some selfies with a demon, of course.” He teases before opening the door to see a baby doll in an old fashioned carriage. “Holy shit, Lance!”

“WHAT?” Lance jumps and tries to see past Pidge and Keith.

“There’s a  _ baby _ in here! No one told me we were gonna be seeing this terrifying shit.” He puts an arm out in front of Pidge, “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you, Pidge!”

“No, Keith! Don’t be a hero!” She mockingly cries out before Lance flicks the back of both of their heads.

“Fuck you guys.”

“I’m just saying,” Keith begins as they walk further in, “Babies are terrifying, so this demon is gonna have to bring out the big guns to beat that.”

Lance smirks at him, “Maybe he’ll send you some bugs.”

“Haaaaah,” Keith replies blankly, “Cute, Lance. Cute.”

Hunk is the last to come in and they all set their bedding to the side before pulling out the  _ gadgets _ . “Here’s the infrared camera,” He begins, handing it to a starry eyed Pidge, “We also have an EMF reader, which is supposed to go up for ghosts. Past...1? Yeah pretty sure past one.” She grabs that but with much less interest, “Then were have the EVP ghost recorder, which is supposed to pick up their voices easier, basically.”

“So it picks up really quiet things?” Keith prompts and Hunk shrugs.

“It’s more just...supposed to be able to pick up their voices better? It’s got something to do with, like, electric...waves...or something?”

“No, it’s just a voice recorder.” Lance interjects, “EVP stands for electronic voice phenomena, which is just the act of getting their voice on an electronic device, pretty much.”

Pidge eyes it skeptically, “This didn’t...cost extra for ‘ghost hunting’, did it?”

“Nah, it’s a pretty basic recorder, but it’s got a shit ton of recording time.” Lance answers and Pidge nods, a little impressed with his knowledge on this stuff. The guy clearly did his homework, which is pretty surprising. Then again, it’s a lot more fun to look shit up for something you are into than to study for your English test.

“Next up is the spirit box!” Hunk exclaims, pulling a new device out and Pidge eyes it curiously before snatching it up, “This uses radio noise to pick up any ghost voices.”

Keith bursts out laughing, “What?  _ What!? _ You can’t be serious.”

“What? The idea of using white noise to communicate with spirits is nothing new.” Lance points out, “Hell, there’s movies about it. It’s a well-known belief that spirits manipulate energy to do pretty much anything like manifest or move shit, so it makes sense that to speak they need to manipulate sound. Still, the spirit box is kind of iffy, since it uses radio there’s bound to be a word that pops up. I won’t trust it unless it’s more than three.”

“How valiant of you.” Keith deadpans.

“Huh, so a loud and obnoxious box screaming radio sounds at me.  _ Awesome _ .” Pidge says, voice dripping in sarcasm. The gadgets, honestly, are a bit underwhelming, but it still sounds like using them will be pretty interesting so she’s still game. They’d be cooler if ghosts were actually real, but, whatever.

After dicking around with the gadgets a bit Keith plops down on a sofa chair and Lance sits on the edge of the couch, Pidge and Hunk on the floor with the camcorders prepared.

“All right, let’s get into the big bad history of your demon named Sallie.” Keith teases and Lance glares at him.

“I will!” Lance says, “The Sallie house is considered to be one of the most haunted places in America. It was built at the turn of the century and became the home of Charles Finney, a local physician who ran his business out of the front here, using it for office space and exam rooms.”

“Seriously?” Keith asks, looking around, “That must have been a crowded little doctor’s office.”

Lance shoots him a glare. “Nobody asked for the peanut gallery’s opinion.” 

Keith just smirks, “Rude, but do go on.”

“Ugh, well, they say that one day a mother came running into the office with her six year old daughter who collapsed from abdominal pain. He diagnosed it as appendicitis and in his rush to help her he didn’t wait for the anesthesia to fully kick in before he started cutting. This led to the girl screaming in agony before going limp and pale, dying on the operating table, with her last memories of a man who was seemingly torturing her to death. That little girl’s name was Sallie.”

Pidge feels Hunk move closer to her, even though it’s still daylight outside, and she pats his back comfortingly. 

“Ooooooh, so spooky.” Keith mocks, earning a pillow to the face from Lance.

“The physician died there later, followed by the deaths of a few more of it’s owners, adding to the ghosts living here. Shit got real, though, in 1993 when a young couple rented it out.”

Pidge laughs, “Shit got real? You sure can paint a picture.”

“Shut up. Anyways, Debra and Tony Pickman moved in December 31st, 1992. The hauntings started small, with lights flickering and their dog barking at the entrance to the nursing room, quote, ‘as if someone was playing with him’. Soon their neighbor asked why their nursery light was on all night long, which was odd to Debra, since she always turned it off when she put the baby to bed.”

“Spooky.” Keith says and Lance nods.

“It’s at least odd, right?”

“Yeah, it’s at least odd.”

Lance grins, like he’s won something even though Keith is clearly not buying any of it. “ Yes! So, anyways, things got real on July 14th 1993 when they went to the baby’s room and saw some of the stuffed animals all lined up in a circle in the middle of the room. At first they thought it was a prank by one of them, since Debra’s sister Karen was up, so they put the animals back, turned off the light and went downstairs. When they went back up the light was on and a little bear was knocked out of a wicker chair.”

Keith gasps, “Not the bear! Poor little guy didn’t do shit!”

“Gotta get outta there,” Pidge pipes in, “Fucking ghosts are chucking bears around the house.”

Lance scowls, “Are you telling me you wouldn’t be a little weirded out by seeing a bunch of stuffed animals in a cult circle when no one did it?”

“I-um-hm...” Keith shrugs, “I don’t know.”

“Yeah, well, like Pidge said, after that they got spooked and left for a while.”

“Did they take the teddy bear?” Pidge asks and Lance raises a brow as Keith shoots her his patented ‘I love your weird ass’ looks.

It’s a very specific look.

Reserved only for her.

“Did they-? No, I doubt they took the teddy bear.” Lance says and Keith gasps.

“Poor little guy gets manhandled by a demon and has to stay in the house? Jesus. These people were cold hearted.”

“ _ Anyways _ , when they went back Tony got scratched and would continue to get scratched until they moved out. One even manifested on video. Soon in their desperation the couple hired a psychic, who picked up on a spirit named Sallie. On October 31st 1993, Tony went to grab a glass of orange juice in the kitchen and saw a girl in early 1900’s clothing. He drew the girl for his wife. Another family who lived there before the Pickmans had a 5 year old daughter who had an imaginary friend named Sallie. She was shown the picture Tony drew eleven years after living there and said it was the same as her imaginary friend. Tony eventually wanted to leave the place, but Debra didn’t as she wasn’t being bothered by the ghosts and saw no point-”

Keith laughs, “Her husband is, like, getting scratched the fuck up apparently, and when he asks to leave she’s like ‘what? But why?’ that’s cold.”

Lance laughs a little, “Yeah, it is. Don’t worry, though, it gets worse for poor ole Tony. He said, quote, ‘It got to the point where I, when I was in the house, I could not think any happy thought. It was just strictly I wanted to hurt her. I...I was a whole different person. That something can come inside me and make me capable of...doing that...I just...it tears me up. As much as I hate to say it...I’d planned on slitter her throat’”

“Jesus Christ!” Keith gasps, “If you slit my throat tonight, I’m gonna have a hard time forgiving you for that.”

“Will you haunt me as revenge?” Lance smirks.

“No, I won’t, because ghosts aren’t real so it’s impossible.” Keith counters before laughing a little, “Really, I guess you can’t blame him. I mean she’s making him stay in that house where little demon girls chuck teddy bears and interrupt early morning OJ time. Oh, right, and  _ scratch the shit out of him _ . Anyone would get bitter.”

“That’s not-! I couldn’t find a timeline for when everything happened but come on, Keith, she moved out eventually and it wasn’t  _ him _ thinking those thoughts.”

“I’m just saying, if my husband wouldn’t let me leave a place where ghosts were fucking me up I would be a little more pliant to their suggestions to murder him.”

“That’s...I…” Lance groans, looking defeated, “Well, that’s you. This guy didn’t want to hurt his wife.”

“Just saying.” Keith shrugs and Lance glares at him.

“Well stop. Besides, they were only in there until 1994. Just a little over a year, so it’s not like she held out for long. It’s hard to find places to live, dude.”

“Well, I guess that’s fair.”

Lance rolls his eyes, “Anyways, they moved out, and some time later another family moved in with their two kids. They didn’t see any activity, but then one day the landlord made a surprise visit to the house and he alleges when he went down to the basement he found a large pentagram on the floor, an altar, a large black kettle, and a black cloak.”

Keith laughs a little as he begins speaking, “A pointy hat, a broomstick, three newts, a lizard’s tongue, eyeballs, Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak, Winifred’s spell-book, that’s no-”

“Hey, man, that’s what he found!” Lance interjects, “Many believe the female tenant was a Satan worshiper, performing sacrificial rituals. To this day there’s still a mark on the basement floor where the rituals allegedly took place. Consequently, many believe the demon lives in the basement, in a hole in the back wall.”

“Cool, cool.” Keith looks around the room, amused, “Bet you're pretty excited to stay the night.”

“Absolutely not. In fact, a little terrifying fact, someone who slept here for the night in the past claims to have woken up to a pale, gaunt, creepy looking fucker laying next to her and staring at her.”

“Honestly, that sounds like sleep paralysis, which is why I discount anything claimed at night in bed by people.”

Lance frowns, “Real or not, if I see something terrifying next to me I’m gonna piss myself.”

Pidge bursts out laughing, letting out a few snorts. “Damn now I  _ really  _ hope you see some shit!”

Hunk looks at Pidge nervously, “I don’t. There’s a good chance I’ll piss myself, too. If not from fear than in solidarity.”

Lance grins over at him, “You my beau, bro.”

“You know it.” Hunk grins back.

Pidge and Keith look at them for a second before looking at each other, Pidge speaking up first, “I just want you to know...if you fucking piss yourself I _will_ be laughing at you and I _will_ _never_ let you live it down.”

Keith smirks at her, “If you piss yourself I’ll take a picture and send it to Matt.”

She gasps, “ _ You! Monster!  _ I can't even do the same for you because Shiro would just worry and fucking  _ drive to Kansas _ to make sure you’re okay!”

Keith laughs, “Yeah, he would. Matt, however, would blow up your picture and make it into a blanket to lay out on the couch and display for all visitors.”

Pidge narrows her eyes at him, “If that ever happens, you better watch your dick, Keith. Now come on, Lance managed to prattle on until it got dark so let’s check this place out.”

“Not like it took long, it’s winter after all.” Lance mutters and Keith stands up, brushing imaginary dirt off his legs.

“Sweet, think the original teddy bear is here? I wanna give him an apology hug for all he’s gone through.”

Pidge rolls her eyes, “No, Keith, I don’t think the bear is still here.”

“Awww, that’s too bad.” Hunk frowns, “Seeing Keith hug a bear would be cute.”

Lance scoffs, a noticeable tinge of red to his face, “Like anything Keith could do would be cute.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit another two weeks wow well sorry about that. I hit some hardcore writers block. Hardcore. I got sick and my brain died for a while.
> 
> So.
> 
> Yeah.


	10. Lance DID sign up for this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance sees some terrifying shit and some adorable shit and literally all of it is Keith's fault

They head upstairs, a very nervous Lance trailing behind Keith as Pidge records them coming up and Hunk records from the back. At least he’s surrounded by people if anything happens. Hunk will no doubt protect him, even if the other two won’t.

“I think you should give whatever bear is up there a hug.” Pidge says as she expertly walks up the stairs backwards, “You know, in memoriam.”

Hunk nods excitedly from behind, “Absolutely!”

Keith laughs a little and Lance can’t see his face but he can imagine the amused expression perfectly, “What if there’s more than one? Am I just supposed to spend ten minutes hugging all the teddy bears?”

“Yes.”  Pidge says.

“Awww that’d be so precious.”Hunk practically coos and Keith shakes his head, amusement in his voice when he speaks.

“We’ll see.”

They arrive in the nursery and look around. As expected there’s a large amount of stuffed animals, and Lance counts at least six bears. He can’t help the cocky smirk he gives Keith.

“So? Gonna hug all your poor underappreciated buddies?” Lance teases and Keith smirks right back.

“Of course.” He goes through the room and gathers up every single bear, it ends up being ten. Pidge is snickering and Hunk has an excited smile on his face before Keith picks them all up in his arms at once for a hug, gently placing them all back in their previous locations after. “There ya go, guys.” Keith looks around the room before turning to Lance. “Hey, why don’t we arrange these guys in the scenarios you mentioned earlier? We can use the footage over your voice so no one has to see how stupid you looked talking about it.”

Lance glares over at Keith for a moment before flashing him a flirty smile, “Keith, if you wanted to keep my cute face to yourself, you should have said so sooner.”

Keith’s eyes look about ready to pop out of his head, “Wh-what are you-!?” He groans and stares at the last bear in his hands a little too intently, “Who would think your face is cute? Don’t be ridiculous. When you get excited you look like an overactive hamster.”

Lance smirks, “Aren’t hamsters cute?”

“Keith used to have one when he was little.” Pidge points out, “He named it Hyde and hamster proofed his room so it could always be out when he was home.”

“Now isn’t the time for useless Keith history facts.” Keith grumbles, blushing a little as Hunk fawns over how cute that sounds.

Lance has to admit (to himself only), it is pretty cute, a little Keith with a little mullet hanging out with a little hamster buddy.

Shit, no, that’s actually fucking adorable.

“Anyways,” Keith calls, waving the bear in his hand in Lance’s face, “Are we gonna set these guys up for scenarios or just leave it be?”

Lance’s face goes about ten shades of red at the cuteness that is an embarrassed Keith waving a teddy bear around. “Y-yeah, let’s...um...scenarios.”

Keith raises a brow, “O...kay...I call the bear being tossed.”

“Sweet, I’ll do the cult circle.” Lance grins, going about gathering a bunch of the stuffed animals up and rearranging them into a circle with their back to each other, Hunk filming it as Pidge films Keith. He glances over at them and sees Keith gently lift the bear off the chair and place it on the floor in front of it.

“Why didn’t you just push it?” Pidge asks and Keith gives her a grim look.

“Enough bears have been harmed in this house.” He picks the bear up and gives it a hug and pat on the back that somehow wakes up butterflies in Lance’s stomach, “Sorry you had to relive that moment, buddy.”

“That’s probably not even-” Pidge stops herself and just rolls her eyes and records before they all huddle together where Lance and Hunk are. “Nice circle.”

“Right? Isn’t it terrifying?” Lance beams and Keith laughs.

“How will I ever get to sleep tonight after seeing a bunch of baby toys in a circle?”

“Shut up and sit down. It’s time to try and summon someone.” Lance orders and Keith plops down next to the circle of stuffed animals. “Sally, if you or any other spirit is here hanging tonight, please communicate with us.” He says, ignoring Keith and Pidge’s matching snickers at ‘communicate’. “I have set down a flashlight at the doorway, so if you could just show us you are here by maybe turning it on…?” His voice wavers a little and he can hear Hunk muttering under his breath, ‘don’t do it, don’t do it’ next to him.

The four sit in silence, watching the flashlight from the cramped bedroom floor. Clearly it was not a room made for 4 teenagers and recording equipment. The house’s lights are all off, save for the light on the camcorders. Lance’s nerves are shot and he’s quickly muttering with Hunk, begging the spirits not to turn the flashlight on. Pidge hushes them and it’s suddenly so dark and silent, Lance instinctually moves closer to Keith since Pidge and Hunk are surrounded by equipment.

It’s so quiet he can hear Keith’s even breathing, and his own slightly panicked, he can hear the rustling of the equipment and Pidge’s legs when she shifts them after a while, but other than that the house is silent. It’s terrifying.

“Hey, look!” Keith exclaims, making Lance shriek and Keith look at him like he has five heads, “...A monkey.” He finishes, pointing to a monkey in the window.

“Wha-?” Lance gapes at the toy before glaring at Keith, “What the _fuck_ does that matter!?”

“I dunno, kinda reminds me of one of Shiro’s old toy monkeys.”

“We’re not here to talk about your _brother_ , Keith!”

Keith rolls his eyes, “No, we’re here to sit in the dark and watch you and Hunk silently panic over literally _nothing_.”

“It’s not _nothing_!” Lance huffs and Keith looks down at the miniscule distance between them mildly surprised for a second before he turns to look Lance in the face again.

“It’s nothing in this room.” Keith points out before standing up and stretching, his shirt riding up a little so Lance can see his pale stom-

Nope.

No.

Not going there.

“C’mon, Lance, didn’t you say someone saw the demon girl in the kitchen once?” Keith asks, oblivious to Lance’s interal freak out. “Let’s head down there.”

“Y-yeah,” Lance squeaks out before clearing his throat and standing up, “Yeah.” He repeats in an even tone this time, “Let’s go to the kitchen, guys. But first…” Moving in front of a confused Keith, Lance uses his foot to sweep the stuffed animals out of the circle he put them in.

“Awwww kicking them, Lance? That’s so mean.” Keith mocks from behind him.

“I’m not risking anything with a creepy cult circle.” Lance mutters before heading out of the room.

Pidge frowns and looks to Keith, “Hey, um, can you take the camera for me for a second, get some descending shots and establishing ones in the kitchen?”

“Sure...why?” He asks and she sighs.

“I gotta take a piss, man.”

“Oh, well, I mean, we can wait for you.” Keith offers and Pidge scrunches up her face in distaste.

“I don’t know how thin these walls are and I don’t need you guys hearing me pee. I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Um...okay…”

Pidge gives him a quick nod and bolts for the toilet.

It’s only fair.

Lance is pretty sure she hasn’t went to the bathroom since dinner, probably too excited about the new toys. “Alright, well, let’s head down there.” He calls, allowing Keith to lead the way.

“OH MY GOD, LANCE!” Keith gasps once he enters the kitchen ahead of them and Lance screams, trying to climb Hunk before Keith adds, “It’s another teddy bear!” He grins, zooming in on a small stuffed bear in the kitchen window before turning to flash Lance a shit eating grin.

“Words will never be able to describe how much I _hate_ you right now.” Lance hisses, climbing off of Hunk when Pidge comes back, looking around excitedly.

“What happened? I heard Lance screaming! Did you get him?” She asks Keith, who grins.

“Of course.” He says, handing her the equipment before placing a flashlight on the kitchen counter. “All set?” Keith asks and Pidge and Hunk nod before the little shit comes to stand by Lance on the other end of the room. “Alright! We are in the kitchen now, set up a nice little flashlight here for nothing to happen to. If there are any spirits in here, though, feel free to give a little tap.” His voice is dripping with sarcasm and annoying the shit out of Lance, but the lights are all off and hunk and Pidge are across the room from them so he’s subtly sticking as close to the asshole as possible.

“This room is even creepier…” Lance grumbles before side-eying Keith, “Or maybe I’m just more on edge because _someone_ decided to fucking prank me.”

He flashes Lance an unapologetic smirk before moving forward some, “Oh demons!” Keith calls and Lance tenses up. “Demons, come on.”

“What are you doing!? Don’t talk to it!” Lance shrieks, reaching out to try and pull Keith back to him, but the idiot was already over next to the counter with the flashlight, Pidge sliding in beside Lance to get a better shot. He moves much closer to her.

“We are literally here to talk to it, Lance.” Keith points out, “Look, demon, I’m gonna level with you. That shit upstairs was weak. Really weak. You might not want to scare Lance and Hunk, but I assure you they are here for you to do exactly that. I don’t wanna stand here in a silent room again, so let’s try some stuff to make you turn it on.”

“If you like us staying here, turn it on!” Pidge calls from next to Lance, ignoring his hand now on her shoulder.

Nothing happens and Lance isn’t sure if that’s better or worse.

Suddenly Keith crouches down next to the flashlight, “If you _don’t_ like us staying here, turn it on.” He says and almost immediately the light flashes o-THE LIGHT FLASHES ON!

Lance shrieks and tries to climb on Pidge, which is a futile effort. He flails around next to her a bit, though, while Pidge and Keith laugh. “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?” Lance yells as Keith turns off the flashlight and walks back over to him, grabbing his shoulders and sitting him down on a chair in the room.

Pidge doing the same to a very silent, very petrified, Hunk across the room.

“Why didn’t we get holy water!?” Lance fumes, glaring at Keith, “I told you we should have met with a priest and got holy water!”

The boy just laughs beside him, “Holy water!” He snickers, like it’s ridiculous. Which it is _not_ . “Aw, man. So much better than upstairs.” Keith is quiet for a minute, one hand staying on Lance’s shoulder until he finally calms down some. As if on cue, Keith speaks up again, “So, demon, if you _really_ don’t want us here, turn it back on.”

“Keith,” Lance calls weakly, but Keith just flashes him what might be a reassuring smile if they weren’t _fucking with a demon_.

“I don’t think he has the power to turn it back on, do you Pidge?” Keith asks, crouching down beside it again.

“Doesn’t look it. What a weak demon.” She adds and Lance’s heart is back in his throat.

“I really think they don't, Lance.” Keith laughs before the light turns on again, making Lance scream and Keith’s laughter get louder.

“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!?” Lance yells and runs over to Keith and the flashlight, looking to see if maybe he’s doing something to make it happen.

He’s not.

“Don’t forget we get to sleep here tonight.” Keith reminds him and Lance pales.

“Please turn the light off, demon.” Pidge calls from next to Hunk.

“Don’t do it.” Lance warns but suddenly the light begins to flicker, “Oh my god.” His hand instinctively reaches out and clutches Keith’s shoulder as it goes completely out. “Why, why, why...Keith dios mio eres tan _estupido_ , no puedo-” He begins speaking fast, and in spanish until a loud rolling noise comes from behind them. “Why, Keith, WHY WOULD YOU TAUNT THEM LIKE THAT?”

“Relax, it’s just a car going by.” Keith says and Lance glares down at him.

“No it isn’t, you ass. Get up off the floor and you can see it’s the _flashlight rolling on the counter_.” He hisses and Keith stands up, catching it rolling a bit more before finally hitting the wall.

“Oh yeah, so it is. What a wonderous act of paranormal activity. A cylindrical object, known for rolling, just rolled.”

“You should have never talked to it, dude! What’s wrong with you?” Lance asks, getting more panicked.

“Okay, okay,” Keith reaches out and grabs his shoulders, “Let’s go back to the living room and turn on some lights, alright? You and Hunk obviously need a break.

The butterflies come back for Lance, but they are quickly lost in the pit of terror currently in his stomach so he just nervously follows Keith out of the kitchen as Pidge brings Hunk. He and his best friend are both sat down on the couch before Keith and Pidge turn on some lights.

“It was odd,” Keith admits when they all sit down, “But there are perfectly logical explanations for all of it.The flashlights aren’t on tight so they can turn off and on at any time, and the rolling is probably from just us moving around so close to it.”

“I don’t know if you are trying to make me feel better…” Lance mutters before glaring over at Keith, “Or debunk my evidence.”

“Honestly? Little bit of both.” Keith admits and Lance chucks a pillow at him.

“Fuck off you aren’t doing either.”

“It’s pretty exciting, though…” Hunk admits quietly, “We actually got to see evidence.”

“Yeah,” Lance admits, before it really sinks in, “Yeah...Yeah! We got some evidence!”

“Don’t get too excited, Lance, it’s not huge if I can easily debunk it.” Keith points out and Lance grumbles.

“Still impressive.”

“Well, it’s a lot better than your wind blowing in the factory.” The boy admits, making Lance light up.

“Oh my god if you are admitting that, it must really be something!”

Keith rolls his eyes, “Anything is better than the wind you idiot.”

There is a long silence between the group, Keith and Pidge dicking around on their phones as Hunk and Lance just sit there in awe of their discovery. Soon enough, though, Pidge speaks up, “Are you guys good now? Can we check out the basement?”

“The demon basement?” Hunk asks weakly and Lance gulps.

“Yeah, we’re ready.” He says, standing up and turning to Keith, “This is where the real shit happens.”

The man just raises a brow, “So you’re admitting the rest wasn’t real?”

“Wha-? No! I meant _serious_!”

“So...the other stuff wasn’t _serious_? You trying to tell the demon to step up his game?” Keith teases and Lance pales.

“N-no, no. I am absolutely _not_ saying that. No demons need to show themselves in any way.”

“But then...we won’t get anything.” Pidge points out and Lance glares at them both. They’re fucking with him, of course. Right before going somewhere terrifying they decide to-

Oh.

_Oh._

Figures assholes would try to make you feel better by being _bigger_ assholes.

“Shall I lead the way?” Pidge asks, heading towards the basement door and Keith bows to her, gesturing in the direction.

“By all means.”

Lance rolls his eyes but gives them a fond smile, “Dorks.”

Hunk chuckles beside him, camera out and filming as they head to the stairs and go down. “It was never proven that satanic rituals were held here, though, right?”

“Well, I mean, the landlord cleaned it all up so I guess there isn’t anymore.” Lance says and Keith scoffs beside him.

“Of course.”

“No homeowner is gonna leave a _pentagram_ on the floor of their fucking house, Keith.”

Keith shrugs, “Maybe not.”

“There is supposed to be a mark in the concrete from where it was, though.” Lance admits and he can hear Hunk’s footsteps slow behind him. “B-but it’ll be fine! We, um…”

“We…?” Keith prompts and Lance elbows him once they all come to the basement floor and fan out around the staircase.

“I know some, um...Latin...that might help.”

“You searched for ways to cast a demon out, didn’t you?” Pidge asks, practically beaming with amusement.

“Oh shut up, we couldn’t get holy water so I had to have some sort of backup.”

“Fair enough.” Keith shrugs, “Let’s venture out, shall we?” He offers, holding up a flashlight before leading the way, “Oh hey, it’s the hole in the back wall your demon friend is supposed to live in.”

Lance and Hunk tense up, “Y-yeah...so it is…” He mutters, going closer with his own flashlight and looking in. “They say that a demon can easily infest a home if a cult performed rituals, sorta opening a portal for them to come out.

“Cool, cool.” Keith says, pulling a folding chair from next to the stairs and opening it next to the hole, placing the flashlight on it. “Alright, demon. If you wanna eat my heart, turn the light on.

“Are you crazy!?” Lance gasps.

“Well, I mean he isn’t responding down here in his little lair. Seems kind of like a wimp to me. Used all his juice for upstairs.”

“Dude! I found the pentagram!” Pidge exclaims and Keith comes over, “You gotta lay on it, dude. It’s, like, your thing now.”

“That is not your thing, Keith, please don't make that your thing.” Lance pleads and Hunk nods.

“Let’s make hugging cute teddy bears your thing!”

“Nah, this is cooler.” Keith decides, laying down on the black mark on the floor as Pidge sets the chair and flashlight up at the end of his feet, “Rock and roll, buckaroo!” He says and Lance is 900% sure it’s just to drive him up the wall because he knows literally no part of Keith would ever say that otherwise.

How is he so chill!?

This guy’s an idiot!

“If you want to eat my heart, as said before, turn the light on. Orrrrr, maybe you wanna eat Lance’s heart? Our new pal, Lance McClain. Resident paranoid geek and apparent conspiracy theorist nerd, on top of paranormal fanboy.”

Lance scowls, “Don’t drag me into this! And I’m not a fanboy!”

“You are what you are, Lance. We’re a packaged deal, demon, so if you want a taste, better flick that light on.” Keith says and immediately the light flashes on and Lance’s face drops to pure horror. “The light’s on, Lance! Check it out!” He teases, lifting his torso off the ground a little to point at it, “We got him!”

“Oh god…” Lance groans, hunching over to try and calm himself.

“Please turn it off…” Hunk says quietly from beside him and the light immediately goes out. “...Oh...um...thank you…?”

“ _Dios_ **_mio_ **.” Lance hisses, “Can we just go upstairs now?” He asks weakly and Keith and Pidge shrug.

“Sure thing, dude. Let’s go.” Pidge says, leading the way, followed by Hunk as they turn off their equipment.

“You gonna be alright?” Keith asks when it’s just the two of them at the bottom of the stairs, “We, um...we can get holy water for next time.” He offers and Lance _would_ feel all fluttery, and probably will whenever he looks back on this, but right now he’s too freaked out so he just nods weakly.

“I’m fine, we’re definitely getting holy water next time.”

The boy next to him just grins and gestures to the stairs, “Go ahead, I’ll clean up down here.”

Lance’s eyes go wide and he grabs Keith’s wrist, “Absolutely not. We’re all going upstairs.”

“But...the flashlight and chair are literally right-”

“Upstairs. _Now_.” Lance orders, making Keith laugh a little.

“Alright, let’s go upstairs.”

The four of them gather in the living room, setting up their sleeping bags. Hunk and Pidge are suspiciously quick to set themselves up in one spot, Pidge on the outside, then Hunk, then somehow Keith, leaving Lance on the outside with only Keith beside him.

“Hell no! We are rearranging!” Lance huffs, “I’m not being on the outside and I’m _not_ only having Keith beside me! I know what you’re trying to do, just like at the hotel! Can you quit dicking around for tonight?"

Pidge and Hunk share a look and Hunk nods.

“I would kinda like to be next to my bro after tonight…”

“I supposed you two did get pretty scared…”

Keith twitches, “So...I’m gonna be on the outside with just Lance next to me?” He groans, “He’s just gonna end up spooning me again.”

Lance goes bright red at the memory of this morning when he woke up to the surprisingly comfortable position of being wrapped around Keith, “I-I will not! Don’t say ‘again’, either!”

“Why wouldn’t I say again? It’s happened before. Literally today, even.” He grumbles as he sets his sleeping bag up next to Lance’s, “Just... _try_ to cling to Hunk.”

“Of course I’m gonna cling to Hunk! Why would I cling to you when I have Hunk as an option!? Besides, I don’t see me getting any sleep in this place anyways.”

Keith rolls his eyes and looks over to Lance, “Don’t keep me up.”

“I won't!”

About an hour later, Pidge and Hunk are sound asleep, the larger teen facing Lance with an arm draped over his wide awake friend. Lance feels jipped, and terrified, before he noticed Keith still awake, on his back with his phone hovering in front of his eyes

“Keith.” Lance whispers, surprising Keith and making him drop the phone right onto his face.

“Fucking-! _What, Lance_?” Keith hisses, moving his phone and rubbing his nose.

“Don’t get pissy with me, you weren’t even sleeping.” Lance huffs before smirking, “Too afraid?”

“No, Lance, I’m not you. I just can’t really ever get to sleep before, like, 4 AM.” Keith admits and Lance raises a brow.

“Why?”

“The longer I’m awake, the longer I’m in control.”

“...Oh…?” Lance turns onto his side to face Keith, “Why do you need to feel in control?”

The man looks over at him with a blank expression, “Bad things happen to people when you aren’t looking.”

“So...you are afraid of ghosts?” Lance asks in awe and Keith glares.

“No, Lance, I’m afraid of real things like fires and murderers and _robbers_ . Ghosts aren’t real. A house where we aren’t the only people with a key _is_ real.”

“No need to get snippy.”

“There _is_ a need.” Keith grumbles, turning on his side to face Lance, “I don’t believe in ghosts, Lance, but I _know_ real dangers exist.”

“You never seem concerned about it during the day.”

“Inhibitions are lost as you get tired, Lance. My nerves spike at night, especially after Pidge falls asleep.”

Lance frowns, “I’m sorry. If it would make you feel better you can go sleep next to her.”

Keith sighs, surprising Lance by moving a little closer. “No, I don’t need to sleep beside her. She let me sleep closest to the door so I’m fine. Besides, I’m not gonna make you attempt to sleep on the outside.”

“This place is terrifying to me, Keith.” Lance admits, almost missing when Keith moves even closer at those words.

“If you’re so scared, why do you want to do this so badly?”

“Because it’s _exciting_ .” Lance smiles at him, “If we could be the first people to get undeniable evidence of ghosts and demons, we would go down in history. Even if we don’t, the fear and adrenaline is still a rush. I’m terrified but I _love_ it.”

Keith gives him a tired smile and Lance feels the butterflies in full force. “It is fun.” He admits and Lance lights up, “Watching you scream like a little girl.” His lips curl into a teasing smile and Lance huffs, playfully punching his shoulder.

“Shut up, you dick.” His eyes venture past Keith to see the snow falling out the window, “So do you have plans for christmas?”

“Probably...dinner with the Holts.” Keith raises a brow, “Where did that come from?”

“It’s snowing now.” Lance gestures behind Keith, “Made me think of Christmas. Just a little over a week left.”

“You have a big family, right? I bet you guys get really into christmas.” Keith says and Lance nods.

“I’ve made everyone a gift. My sister Veronica gets a new scarf with her favorite flowers on it-camellias, my brother Marco is getting socks with little crochet images of his pitbulls in them and my brother Luis gets a new ugly christmas sweater because it sorta became a tradition for us. Mom gets a blanket and dad gets a nice sweater.” Lance closes his eyes and smiles, imagining their faces when they open their gifts. “Then my little niece Luisa is getting a little purse with a Pomeranian on it and my nephew Marius is getting a blanket.” He opens his eyes and sees Keith staring at him in awe.

“Jesus you must have been working on those all year,” Keith mutters and Lance laughs.

“Nah, it took about five months of all my free time. Now that we are doing this, though, it might take a year next christmas.”

“So...did your brother Luis seriously name his little girl after himself?”

Lance finds himself actually _giggling_ , “Yeah, she looks like a miniature him, too. Luckily she doesn’t act it.”

“So...is Marius...Marco’s kid?” Keith asks and Lance shakes his head.

“No, he’s Veronica’s. Marco and his wife don’t have a kid, she doesn’t want to have them and he doesn’t really care either way. Their dogs are their babies.”

“So he’s gonna love the hell out of those socks, then.”

Lance beams proudly, “Yup!” He mirrors Keith’s smile, “So what about your family? What do you do for gifts?”

Keith frowns, “It’s just me and Shiro...since our parents passed we’ve spent it with the Holts and buy them little things. Shiro and I had always bought presents for Matt and Pidge, and by the time our parents passed away Shiro had already been dating Matt for a while so he helped me pick out presents for their parents the first couple years.” He smiles again, no doubt remembering something he doesn’t want to share, “They’re amazing parents, just like ours were.”

“I’m sure.” Lance mutters, finding himself staring at Keith. “B-but um...what...time is it?” He asks weakly and Keith checks his watch.

“2:55, why?”

“Um...in 5 minutes is the witching hour. You know, when ghosts get real intense.”

“To mock the holy trinity.” Keith adds and Lance’s eyes light up.

“Yeah! How did you know?”

“I love horror movies, Lance, I know my fair share of ghost and demon lore.” He explains before smirking, “However, unlike you, I have the common sense not to believe in it.”

Lance huffs, “Whatever. Why don’t we get the recorder and set up a camera and stay completely silent for, like, five minutes at 3 am?”

“Can you handle it?” Keith asks, already getting up to grab the bag on the chair next to him.

“Yes, Keith, I can handle it.”

“Pretty ballsy when you’ve got Hunk holding you, huh?”

“It’s probably more because you’re here.” Lance admits and Keith almost drops the camera, “Careful, dude! That shit isn’t cheap!”

“I-I know that!” Keith stutters, his face bright red as he sets the camera on some bags at their feet to record them and then lays back down next to Lance, turning on the recorder, “Alright, we’ve got five seconds.” He counts down and then they both go silent.

There’s no sound, at all. Hunk isn’t even snoring tonight, and Pidge never snores. Just drools like a goddamn waterfall. So yeah, no sound. Just laying in a demon’s home, in the dark, after spending the evening with Keith pissing them off. He moves closer to Keith, almost getting into his sleeping bag until he feels just Hunk’s hand on him. Keith’s not going to hold him, so he definitely isn’t losing that contact.

Still, the move prompts a cocky look from Keith that he tries to squash with a glare.

It doesn’t work.

Five minutes is a surprisingly long time and in that time he hears _every_ small noise in the house, his nerves starting to break when Keith finally speaks.

“Alright, five minutes is up.” He crawls down his sleeping bag and shuts off the camera, placing it and the recorder back into the bag on the chair before laying down again and turning to Lance, “Another waste of time that just has you more nervous.”

“Shut up. It was a good idea.”

“It was a _dorky_ idea.”

The two continue to talk for a little while longer and before Lance knows it, it’s morning and he’s _waking up,_ which doesn’t seem right. He doesn’t remember falling asleep.

Neither does he remember getting into Keith’s sleeping bag with him.

So, yeah, Lance woke up holding Keith in his arms.

Again.

Second night in a row.

Except this time Keith is holding on as well, his arms wrapped tightly around Lance and it’s _nice_ . It’s warm and comfortable and relaxing and for a moment he contemplates going back to sleep, but _nope_. The assholes behind him have to ruin everything with their hushed giggles.

“He left me for Keith. How cute is that?” He can hear Hunk whisper as Pidge tries to muffle her snickering.

“So much for being too scared to sleep, huh?”

“Everyone feels more at peace when their in a loved ones arms.” Hunk points out, “Apparently Keith’s are more comforting than mine.”

“Pretty sure Keith was awake when Lance fell asleep, dude. Probably didn’t start hugging him until he knew he was out.”

“Would you _shut up_?” Lance groans, wincing when he sees Keith begin to stir in his arms.

Welp, this is pretty familiar.

“Told you that you’d do it again.” Keith mumbles sleepily into Lance’s chest, his arms moving between them to push the boy away. “What time is it?”

“You _have_ a watch.” Lance points out as Pidge answers.

“Almost 9.”

“Oh shit! We gotta get ready and go, then!” Lance exclaims making Pidge and Hunk just grin.

“We’ve been ready for about an hour.” Hunk admits, bringing Lance to finally notice that Keith’s sleeping bag is the only one left out. Everything else is packed.

“Why won’t you ever just _wake_ us? Jesus!” Keith groans, standing and stretching before heading for the bathroom, “I’m showering first, since Hunk has already informed us of your water nymph tendencies.”

“Would you quit calling it that?” Lance whines to Keith’s retreating back. “Well, should we go clean up our messes?” He asks once Keith’s has completely left and Pidge smirks.

“Already did.”

“It’s really not scary downstairs during the day.” Hunk admits.

“Ugh, you guys are ridiculous.” Lance groans.

The ride back is pretty uneventful, Pidge finds the footage of them during 3 AM and laughs at how scared Lance looks, but admits it was a pretty good idea. Well, she said ‘it was pretty good gimmick’, but he chooses to believe she took the idea seriously. Even tthough it's 17 hours it seems to take a _lot_ less time to get home and in, well, not _no time_ , but seemingly _less time_ they arrive at Keith and Pidge’s place. They opted out of stopping for the night, everyone just rotating naps, so it’s a little after 4 AM when they arrive.

Everyone is pretty well rested, but definitely eager to sleep in their own beds, and somehow Pidge and Hunk manage to leave Keith and Lance alone in the apartment, insisting they grab the last of the stuff.

“If you guys want, you can sleep here tonight.” Keith offers awkwardly, and while they both know he means it, they also both know Lance and Hunk aren’t gonna take it but he needs to fill the silence.

“Nah, we’re right down the road. Besides, I miss my bed.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Pidge and Hunk come back up and they all say goodbye to each other.

“Have a good christmas, you guys! I’ll be sure to bring you lots of sweets!” Hunk promises and Lance sees Keith and Pidge’s eyes light up.

“You, too!” Pidge says, grinning wide, “Have fun with your families.”

“I hope Luis’s sweater is ugly enough.” Keith adds, making Lance blush for some reason.

“I-it should be, it has his face on it after all.” He jokes and Keith actually bursts out laughing.

Pidge and Hunk exchange confused looks.

“Well, anyways, see you guys next year!” Lance says, giving them a wink and finger guns as he backs out of the door.

“Oh my god.” Pidge groans.

“Get out of our apartment.” Keith adds, his voice equally pained.

Lance follows Hunk to the car grinning, his mind full of ghosts and the image of Keith wrapped in a sleeping bag on a snowy night.

 

He’s not sure which is scarier.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I've been sick. Fucking allergies this Spring are kicking my ass. 
> 
> I actually fell asleep at one point while writing this in bed on my phone and deleted the entire thing, I almost lost my shit, but luckily since I didn't close the page at all I just ctrl Z'd that shit.
> 
> Still, though, it was terrifying for a second.
> 
> Fucking love ctrl Z.
> 
> This was also supposed to be MUCH shorter but I got super into Keith and Lance talking in the house and like now I'm two hours late for bed on a work night yaaay
> 
> No regrets.


	11. Keith Speaks Spanish on Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Pidge have a nice Christmas with their families before Keith gets slightly side tracked by a message from the boy who has been on his mind all day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations: (Sorry my Spanish is super rusty)
> 
> (2:17) Entonces sabes lo que estoy Diciendo.=So you know what I am saying?  
> (2:18) Lo que tu estas escribiendo, pero, si.=What you are writing, but, yes.  
> (2:18) ¿Acabas de corregir mi español?= Did you just correct my spanish?  
> (2:18) Si, chiquito. ¿Qué vas a hacer al respecto?= Yes, little boy, what are you going to do about it?  
> (2:30) Dios, Keith, no puedo hacer esto.= God, Keith, I can't do this.  
> (2:30) Lo...siento? Que eres haciendo? A tu hermano le gusta su suéter?= I'm...sorry? What are you doing? Does your brother like his sweater?  
> (2:30) Omg, Keith, no tienes ni idea. Mira esto.=Omg Keith you have no idea.  
> (2:50) Que generoso de ti.=How generous of you.  
> los niños estan listos.= the kids are ready.

There's a heavy weight on Keith's rib-cage, a familiar weight he experiences every year on this day. Opening his eyes groggily he looks up to stare at the grinning girl on top of him, resembling a gremlin.

But not the cute version. The gremlins after you feed it passed midnight or douse it in water.

What is the name?

Lance would know. It's his nickname for her.

“Merry Christmas, Keith.” She greets and he can't help the tired smile that slides easily across his face.

“Merry Christmas, bane of my existence.”

“Oof, you wound me.” Pidge clutches her heart dramatically before toppling over onto the bed when Keith sits up. “...Literally.” She grumbles as he gets out of bed. “It always baffles me how I'm up before you on Christmas,” The brunette begins, sitting up  cross legged in his bed as she watches him gather clothes, “ I know damn well you are just as excited as me to go see the family.” She grins “To hang hang out with big bro Shiro.”

“First of all,” Keith begins, turning to the girl in his bed, “He's told you a million times not to call him that.” He comes up to Pidge and tilts the little gremlin sideways to get a pair of socks from beneath her, “And second of all, no matter how excited I am, sleep is still important.”

Pidge just laughs from her lopsided position, “Oh yeah? And when did _you_ get to sleep? Because I'm pretty sure when I finally passed out at 4 your ass was still awake in here.”

“Shut up.” He huffs before turning and going to their bathroom.

Of course he's excited, he's always happy to see Shiro, Matt, Sam and Colleen. They are the only family he has left now, after all. The Holt household, and their old childhood home next door that Shiro and Matt took over feel like home.

Doesn't mean he doesn't want sleep, though.

It's hard enough to come by as it is.

He sighs to himself and turns on the shower, thinking back to the Sallie House. It got a _lot_ of hits, comments, subscribes. Basically in that one visit they bumped their YouTube page up in the public's eyes from a way to pass time to a true form of entertainment. Honestly, he and Pidge are pretty proud and excited, but they are both unsure about telling their brothers.

Matt will want in and Shiro will give Keith a lecture about going out to random places for the night. A lecture that he has already received from Shiro about four times now in his life.

He also doesn't want them to see him interacting with Lance. For some reason when he's with Lance he becomes an even bigger shit. The fact he said ‘buckaroo’ at the Sallie house still haunts him.

There's a lot of shit he did at the Sallie house that he regrets. Well, maybe not regrets, but doesn't understand _why_ he did it.

Like allowing Lance to crawl into his sleeping bag and cling to him so he could fall asleep, an act Lance luckily seems to have forgotten. There's also him holding Lance in return and how _fast_ he fell asleep in his arms it is _NOT okay_.

Everything else he stands by, though.

Even the weirdly open and honest conversation between them that night, because that's how you make friends. Or so he's told.

He actually hasn't heard a peep from Lance since he and Hunk went home that...night? Morning?

Whatever.

Hunk has messaged him a few times, teasing him with things he's going to bring to them after Christmas.

In fact…

He gets curious when he gets out of the shower and looks at his phone to see exactly what he was looking for; a big long message from Hunk.

 **Hunk** :

(8:47) Merry Christmas, Keith! I just want you to know,

man, I'm so happy you decided to join us in our ghost hunting

adventures. I know you didn't want to at first. But look at us now!

In the week since we posted, we've gotten so many comments

and subscribers, it's incredible!

 

(8:47) You're great, dude, and I'm really glad we're all friends now.

Look forward to some delicious food when I get back!

 

Keith finds himself blushing a little, staring at his phone for a few minutes before setting it down and getting ready. What does he say to that?

Thanks?

Same?

Are you crazy there is nothing about me to enjoy?

He wants to write something long back, but it's not his style. All his writing is concise and to the point. It's also damn near impossible for him to pull off heartfelt.

 _Pidge_ is even better at that stuff than he is.

“You almost done in there? We need to head out soon!” She calls from the other side of the door and Keith groans, grabbing his phone and coming out.

“I'm ready, calm down. They don't live far away and I packed last night.”

“I know, I know, I'm just really excited. We haven't seen them in forever.”

Keith laughs a little as he grabs his stuff, “Sometimes I feel like we're an old married couple.”

Pidge just grins at him, “The ‘old’ is a bit offensive, but, yeah. Me too.” They head out to Pidge’s little green car, “But I don't have a penis or an interest in that stuff so it's impossible.”

“Even if you did have one,” Keith begins, his face scrunching up in disgust at the thought of being with a male Pidge, “You would basically look like Matt when he was a teen and, believe it or not, my brother and I _don't_ have the same taste.”

“Well obviously,” Pidge pulls out her keys and they chuck their bags in the backseat, “Since he also like girls.”

“Obviously.” Keith repeats, hopping in the passenger's seat and setting up the music.

It's a three hour ride. Just long enough to make it impossible for weekly visits, but short enough to (usually) get there for important stuff. They would never tell Lance, but they missed thanksgiving with the family so they could afford Sallie House.

Honestly they don't regret it. The trip was fun and now they have more subscribers. It was definitely worth it, although they did miss their families on Thanksgiving. That's what Skype is for, though.

Soon they pull into Shiro and Matt's driveway, quickly greeted by Matt who come rushing out in his Pajama pants, followed by a bundled up Shiro carrying his boyfriend's coat.

“Pidge! Keith!” Matt exclaims, pulling them into a hug before Shiro pries him off so he can put on his coat.

“How was the trip? Roads good?” Shiro asks, squeezing Keith's shoulder with his good hand.

“Yeah, I mean everyone and their brother is out since it's Christmas, but my expert driving skills got us here safely and on time.” Pidge brags and Keith looks Shiro dead in the eyes.

“She almost got us stuck in a ditch trying to pass a tractor trailer.”

Shiro rolls his eyes and gives his brother a fond smile, “I'm pretty sure your lead foot has passed more tractor trailers than anyone on the block.”

“Probably the town, really.” Matt teases with a grin and Keith rolls his eyes.

“You going to your parents in your PJs?”

“It's only noon, man, that's still legally PJ time. Especially on vacation.”

Keith shrugs, “Can't really argue with that.” He admits and Matt grins before ushering his sister inside as Shiro and Keith grab their bags.

“So are you guys planning on telling us what made you ditch Thanksgiving for Kansas?” Shiro asks as they head inside and a knot forms in his stomach.

Ugh, he doesn't wanna explain this.

“Um...we’ll tell you at dinner.”

“Alright, but you better not try to lie again.” His brother warns and suddenly Keith sees his mom in front of him, the same playful yet serious smile on his  face as she used to get.

He misses her.

Dad, too, but Shiro doesn't remind him of his dad, since Shiro has a different one.

It's why they have different last names. He doesn’t know what Shiro’s dad looks like, and Shiro doesn’t either, really, but since Shiro’s build resembles his dad's he imagines the man was muscular with a square jaw.

Guess his mom had a type.

“Alright, I'm all dressed, just drop your shit in the living room and grab your gifts so we can go see mom and dad.” Matt says, coming out in a nice pair of jeans and the _ugliest_ Christmas sweater Keith has seen.

It reminds him of Lance and the strange butterflies that kept popping up at the Sallie house are back now. He wonders briefly if the sweater Lance made for his brother is uglier and smiles to himself at the ridiculousness of the gift in general.

“Ohhh? What's this expression?” Matt asks, smirking at Keith who goes bright red.

“What expression?”

“Someone looks _moonstruck_.”

Shiro rolls his eyes, “Would you quit using that expression already? Just because the movie is on Netflix now and you've seen it like ten times…”

“Look, I don't know about you, but if I ever pass up a chance to watch a _Cher_ movie, I demand to be shot immediately.” Matt says, his eyes never leaving Keith, “So, is the reason for this expression _also_ the reason you guys went to Kansas? Dating someone you met online, maybe?”

Keith's eyes go wide and he looks to Shiro who is gearing up for a talk, “ _No,_ I'm not dating someone online, I'm not _moonstruck_ or any sort of _struck,_ and I _know_ the dangers of online dating Shiro so fucking unsquare those shoulders immediately.”

Shiro’s shoulders immediately drop and he sighs in relief. “Alright. Good. Matt has been watching that Web of Lies show on ID and I seriously don't think I could take it if you said you were dating someone online. Let alone going across country to meet them _without telling me_.”

“I'm an _adult_ , Shiro. I know how to take care of myself.” Keith groans, briefly wondering if Lance's family was this uptight when he was dating the Russian boy online.

God damnit he needs to stop thinking about _Lance_ today.

After settling that mess the four of them head across the driveway to the Holt’s family home, where Sam and Colleen are waiting at the door. They pull Pidge and Keith into hugs that linger a little longer than normal, probably because of Thanksgiving, before they all head into the living room.

Where Bae Bae is.

The _best_ dog.

Keith immediately goes to him and smothers him in hugs and kisses.

“I swear he cares more about the dog than us.” Matt teases and Keith looks over at him with a smirk.

“Damn right.”

Colleen and Sam just laugh as they gather everyone around the tree where the presents are. As usual the Holt parents went all out. For all of them.

Everyone has five gifts for them, including Bae Bae. Of course, as high paid astronomers it's no big deal to them.

He still remembers when they bought him Red, his precious motorcycle, one Christmas without batting an eye. Keith, on the other hand, was in tears.

“Alright! Everyone open up your gifts!” Colleen calls after setting up a camcorder to get it all.

Like always, Keith makes out like a bandit. Matt bought him the entire series of The Simpsons so far, a show that Matt himself got Keith into, showing the little eight year old episodes when their parents and Shiro weren't around. Shiro got him some stuff for his bike, more safety gear to be precise, because Shiro is basically a super buff mom.

The Holt parents got him and Pidge a year long membership to some meal delivery thing, getting them the once a month package. He's pretty excited at the idea of Hunk making any good recipes they find. The rest of the stuff from them is clothes and stuff for his bike until the last one. It's a small box and when he opens it he sees a picture he’d forgotten about.

Standing there and grinning like a mad woman was his mom, Krolia, holding a baby Keith in her arms while his dad held Shiro. The boys had ice cream on their faces, mostly Keith, and their parents looked exhausted but overjoyed.

They tend to do this every year, the Holts. At least one present for Shiro and Keith is related to their parents, it's a sort of way to keep them involved in the holidays. The first year after their deaths the Holt family had set up a big christmas celebration at Keith and Shiro’s, doing the Kogane family traditions for it with his mom and dad’s pictures by their side through the day.

Keith cried the entire time, but had a death grip on the pictures when Sam and Colleen offered to take them away if it was too much.

Since then it’s gotten easier, so as he stares at this photo there are no tears...from him. Shiro looks on the verge of them, though, which _never_ happens.

“Shiro…” Keith mutters before Shiro excuses himself, leaving to stand outside for a minute. “Um...I’m gonna…?” He looks to Matt who nods.

“I can’t help with this one.” Matt says and Keith looks at him confused for a moment before getting up and heading outside.

“Shiro, are you okay?”

“No, Keith, I’m not.” Shiro looks at him, “I...I feel like we’re growing apart. I know I’m your brother, not your parent, and I knew when you moved you would be going out and having your own life...but...what are you doing that you can't _tell_ me?” He asks and Keith can hear the pain in his voice, “You didn’t even want to tell us you were going to Kansas, if I didn’t call you out on your lie you were going to leave it at ‘work won’t let us’. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you are getting out and seeing new places, I just don’t understand why you can’t tell me why.”

Keith let’s out a heavy sigh, “Shiro, it’s not like that. I told you we would tell you at dinner…”

He was really hoping _Pidge_ would tell them at dinner, honestly. It’s too humiliating to say.

“Last time you two waited to tell us something until a family dinner, it was that you were moving _three hours away_.” Shiro points out and Keith winces.

Oh.

_Shit._

“We’re not moving to Kansas, if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s nothing bad, or dangerous...it’s just...embarrassing…” Keith mutters, his face now flushed, “I just don’t wanna tell you because it’s quite possibly the dumbest thing her and I have agreed to.” The look on Shiro’s face quickly goes from pain to terror and Keith cringes.

Right.

The paranoid _mother_ over here definitely won’t settle for that answer.

“Keith, what on earth-?”

“Ghost hunting,” Keith says quickly, refusing to look at his brother, “We...ugh, we’re...well, I mean, Pidge and I aren’t ghost hunting, we don’t believe in them, but her new friends Hunk and Lance asked us to join them. Well, asked _her_ to join them and she dragged me along and _then_ they asked me to stay. Okay, not _them_ , just Hunk.” He looks up to see the bewildered look on his brother’s face, “But, um, yeah. That’s what is going on. I guess once a month from now on we are going to be going to a random place looking for ghosts.”

“I…” Shiro begins before laughing, “I thought you two were moving again, but you dorks are just _ghost hunting_? Jesus, Keith!”

Keith quickly finds himself laughing as well, “It’s not my fault you're so damn paranoid!”

Shiro let’s out his own heavy sigh and places a hand on his shoulder, “So, this Hunk, tell me about him.” He says, smirking at Keith.

“That’s _actually_ his name, don’t get the wrong idea.”

“Just a friend?”

“Yes.”

“Not into dudes?”

“Dunno, but he’s currently _very_ into a nice girl who works at the ER. She’s always he-” Keith stops himself, deciding it’s best if Shiro _doesn’t_ know of the fairly frequent visits he’s had to the ER since moving away. “Helping him out with stuff. I actually got him to ask her out.” He says proudly and Shiro laughs a little.

“How about Lance? Is he available? Or is he strictly into women?”

Keith goes bright red, “He’s not-! _W-we’re_ not-! That’s _not_ a-! Ugh! _Damnit_ , Shiro, I’m _not dating_ anyone!”

“I know,” Shiro looks at him with a strange glint in his eye, “But I’m not stupid. _Ghost Hunting_ ? You and Pidge have spent literal _days_ worth of time shitting on that. I know you are both the type to do this sort of thing for a friend, but you said _her_ friends, so clearly they are new to you and you _definitely_ wouldn’t do this for new people. Not unless they _really_ mattered.

“Also, you have been sort of spacing out every now and then since you got here. Then there was that weird moment with the ugly sweater Matt had on, and Pidge may or may not have said you were flirting with someone lately.”

Keith’s left eye twitches.

God damnit, Pidge.

Her and her big fucking mouth.

“I’m not _flirting_ with anyone, the sweater reminded me of something that someone I’m _not_ into told me about and we are now dropping this and going back inside because I’m _cold as fuck_ out here.”

“Fine, fine,” Shiro relents, ushering his little brother inside, “But I would like to meet these boys.”

Keith groans, “This is another reason I didn’t want to tell you.”

“Too bad, me and Matt will be coming up for a visit to meet these guys. It’s decided.” Shiro says as they head back to everyone in the living room.

“Could you _be_ more of a mother?” Keith groans, plopping back down next to Pidge.

“Don’t tempt him.” Matt sighs as Shiro sits back down next to him.

“You boys okay?” Colleen asks and they both nod.

“Great! It’s dinner time, then!” Sam cheers, heading to the kitchen first. “Time to get my hands on some of those delicious peas your mom makes!”

Colleen sighs, “A table full of all kinds of food I work hard to make and your father obsesses over the _garden peas_. The one thing I don’t really have to do anything to.”

“Maybe he’s trying to tell you something.” Pidge teases, earning a fond but exasperated look from her mother.

“You’re lucky I missed you so much, Katie.”

“I know.”

Dinner starts off pretty normal, everyone’s chatting to catch up while Pidge and Keith are busy stuffing their faces with Colleen’s cooking, because despite Pidge’s teasing Colleen is easily tied with Hunk in culinary skills. Keith misses this, if he’s being honest. He wishes they were closer to their family, yet at the same time he knows if they were they would be too spoiled by them to really get out there and live for themselves.

It’s nice and peaceful here, though, and he plans to enjoy the lack of ghost hunting shit before they return home after New Years.

Until his phone vibrates in his pocket.

He briefly wonders if it’s Hunk again, since he never got back to him, and is shocked to see it’s actually a message from _Lance._

 

**Lance:**

(2:15) Hijo.

**Keith:**

(2:15) Did...you just call me son?

(2:15) Or do you have some secret lovechild

who is old enough to read text messages?

**Lance:**

(2:15) Shit! No, sorry, I didn’t, I meant to say hi,

but had it on my spanish keyboard so I could

text mi abuela.

**Keith:**

(2:16) ….You’re grandma can text?

**Lance:**

(2:16) AHA! You know Spanish!

(2:16) Also, yes, she can text but only in Spanish.

She’s still not great at written English.

**Keith:**

(2:17) Yes, Lance, I know Spanish. I took

it for five years, I _should_ know it.

**Lance:**

(2:17) Five years? How did you do that?

**Keith:**

(2:17) Our school started it in 7th grade, and

gave you the option to take an advanced

     Course Senior year.

**Lance:**

(2:17) Entonces sabes lo que estoy

Diciendo.

**Keith:**

(2:18) Lo que tu estas escribiendo, pero, si.

**Lance:**

(2:18) ¿Acabas de corregir mi español?

**Keith:**

(2:18) Si, chiquito. ¿Qué vas a hacer al respecto?

 

Lance is quiet for a while and Keith is kinda worried he scared him off. What he last wrote _was_ vaguely flirty, or dickish, depending on your stance.

 

Fuck.

 

He finally hears from Lance and he fucks it up. Ignoring the looks from everyone at the table, he sinks into his chair to wallow.

 

Until he feels his phone vibrate.

 

**Lance:**

(2:30) Dios, Keith, no puedo hacer esto.

**Keith:**

(2:30) Lo...siento? Que eres haciendo?

A tu hermano le gusta su suéter?

**Lance:**

(2:30) Omg, Keith, no tienes no idea. Mira esto.

 

Keith bursts out laughing when he gets the picture. Of course, Lance’s brother Luis is sort of pretty attractive, but it’s admittedly diminished by the bright blue, green and red sweater he’s wearing. His wavy chin-length brown hair is depicted as an afro and his nose is the size and shape of a carrot. The scowl on his face is pretty great, too.

 

“What are you giggling at?” Pidge asks, smirking over at him like she knows.

 

Which she might.

 

“Lance sent me a stupid picture.” He admits, showing her and making her burst out laughing.

 

“It actually puts Matt’s ugly sweater to shame!” She says and Matt gasps.

 

“How _dare_ you! Let me see!” Matt grabs the phone and pretty soon it’s being passed around the table, shiro giving him an odd look when it reaches him, before finally Pidge hands it back to him.

 

“That’s one of your new friends?” Colleen asks and both Pidge and Keith shake their heads no.

 

“That’s our friend’s older brother.” Pidge explains, “If you wanna see our new friends, and what we’ve been up to-”

 

“Pidge no.” Keith warns, but she ignores him. Naturally.

 

“We have a youtube channel for our new ghost hunting gig.”

 

“ _Oh. My. God._ Pidge I want in.” Matt says and Keith groans, deciding to go back to texting Lance.

 

Until he sees someone already did.

 

**Keith:**

(2:35) Nice to meet you, Lance, I am Shiro.

You are very skilled.

**Lance:**

(2:35) Nice to meet you, too, Shiro. Thank you.

Mi abuela taught me.

**Keith:**

(2:35) So why are you messaging my brother

On christmas?

Keith shoots his brother the dirtiest look he can, and recieves a smirk in response. Luckily it looks like Colleen snatched it away from him. Unluckily, she wrote, too

 

**Keith:**

(2:37) Ignore him, dear. He’s overprotective.

**Lance:**

(2:37) Dear…? Um...who might this be, because

you sure aren’t Keith, lol.

**Keith:**

(2:37) I’m Colleen, Pidge’s mother. Don’t worry,

I’m not going to chit chat with you, Keith will have

his phone back in a moment.

**Lance:**

(2:37) Haha, ok.

**Keith:**

(2:50) Shit, dude, sorry about that. Matt kinda took

the phone to see what Pidge and I were laughing

at and so the whole family passed it around.

**Lance:**

(2:50) No problemo, mi amigo.

**Keith:**

(2:50) Que generoso de ti.

 

For the rest of the evening Keith and Lance text each other off and on, always in Spanish, and it’s honestly the most Spanish he’s used in the last two years.

 

He kind of loves it.

 

His mother taught him Korean, since that’s where she was from, and some Japanese since Shiro knew it in honor of his dad, but when he started learning Spanish in high school it just sort of clicked more that the other two. Maybe because it was a language _he_ chose.

 

Still, it’s nice to be using it again.

 

He shoots Hunk a message, too. It’s not quite as long and sweet, just a simple ‘Thank you, Hunk. I’m really glad we’re friends, too. I couldn’t ask for a better one. Merry Christmas’, but it seemed to do that job. If the smiley face he sent after was any indication.

 

Of course he doesn’t have his face buried in his phone all day, he is very much a part of spending time with their families until everyone goes to bed. He stays with Shiro and Matt, sleeping in his old room that they haven’t touched, and Pidge stays at her parent’s place in her old room. Laying in bed the two text even more until Keith works up the courage to ask Lance what he’s wanted to know since he first texted him.

**Keith:**

(12:25) Why exactly did you text me today?

**Lance:**

(12:25) Idk? Luis made eggnog that was about

90% alcohol and 10% actual drink, and after a few

of those I decided I wanted to say hi to you.

 

(12:25) Wish you a merry christmas and all that jazz.

**Keith:**

(12:25) You never actually _did_ wish me a merry

Christmas, but yeah, Merry Christmas, Lance.

**Lance:**

(12:26) Lol it’s not really Christmas anymore,

so I guess we both kinda dropped the ball on

that one, but Merry Christmas to you, too, Keith.

 

(12:26) I’ve gotta get going to bed, los niños

estan listos.

 

He sends Keith a picture of him in bed with his niece and nephew curled up on either side, clearly falling asleep.

 

**Keith:**

(12:26) Buenas noches, Lance.

**Lance:**

(12:26) Night, Keith.

**Keith:**

(12:27) Not even a ‘good’? Fucking rude.

**Lance:**

(12:27) Take it, Mullet.

 

Keith chuckles to himself before setting the phone on the charger and getting in position to sleep. He’s really glad he gave this ghost hunting thing a chance, his new friends are great.

 

Even if Lance is a little weird.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't really used Spanish since senior year of high school, nine years ago. I'm pretty stoked I only had to use the translator to make sure what I was writing was correct. One useful thing high school taught me. Also I've reformatted chapters 1-3 (soon 4 and possibly 5) because they look horrible. The story and what happens didn't change, it's just written better. It's kind of ironic, I work in an office as a formatter and now I'm doing it at home.
> 
> There's no escaping it.


	12. Hunk loves the Holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunk enjoys family time, and performs his bro duties by keeping Lance from doing anything too stupid. (Seriously, where is his medal?)

Today’s _Christmas_ , Hunk’s favorite holidays. Not for the gifts, not for the time off of school, not even for the delicious food or alcohol his parents have snuck him during Christmas for the past three years. Nope, Hunk’s favorite thing about it is the _warmth_ and _family_. Even before college, ever since he could remember, his favorite part was the gathering of family and all of the hugs and kisses and smiles.

From the end of Thanksgiving, his mother gets super excited. After family leaves on thanksgiving she begins putting up decorations. When he was little he she would lift him up to hang the garland and lights in the house really high. Now he can reach the same height without it, but she always reminisces about those times when he’s putting it all up, making the same joke about how if he can’t reach something he can always lift her to get it.

Black Friday she goes _crazy_. Before he was twelve she would leave him at home, but once he was old enough to be useful during it, he saw just what his mother was capable of. She’s fairly small, a big contrast to his tall and physically imposing father, yet on black Friday she will barrel through crowds, strong arm things away from people who try to steal what she has. One year, when he was 16, she actually punched a man in the face for trying to take the gift she had bought Hunk. He obviously wasn’t next to her when it happened but he heard the commotion and came to check on her, seeing his tiny mother hovering over a large man with a brand new shiner.

Before he even got there she’d had the wherewithal to wrap his gift in her jacket.

The woman is incredible.

After black Friday, though, she always goes back to her calm and sweet self. December 1st she decorates the tree, without fail. When he was little they decorated together, even after he met Lance he would stay home on the 1st and just spend the day with his mom (unless it fell on a school day, obviously). She would start the day with christmas music, Hunk waking up to the sounds of his favorite holiday songs, and when he came downstairs there would be Christmas pancakes which were just pancakes with a whipped cream snowman and berries for decoration on it. If it was a school day, as soon as he came home he’d be greeted to the music and pancakes. No matter what day it was, though, they always decorated the tree right after he finished eating.

Once the tree was decorated, he would curl up on the couch with his mother and father and watch Christmas movies until bedtime.

The rest of the month was full of random Christmas activities each day, that Lance happily joined in once they met. His parents would set up a gingerbread house day, gingerbread man day, other DIY things like making a Santa hat or their own stocking or  new decoration for the tree of their family and the other’s. Over the years both his and Lance’s parents have received so many ornaments from each of them they had to actually start buying bigger trees, then gave up altogether and started hanging some up on the walls.

Nowadays, though, it all starts when they come down around the 20th. Music, pancakes, gingerbread houses, and now his mother will undo the tree on the night of the 19th so when Hunk arrives they can decorate together. He doesn’t get it, thinks it’s a bit much, but is honestly would be so heartbroken if she stopped.

Before he met Lance, his Christmases were spent at home with all of his family. His mother and father’s parents are native Samoans, and still live there, but since Hunk was born they come all the way here to celebrate Christmas, along with aunts and uncles and cousins. The home was always so full of love and life. It still is, although his grandparents have all passed, everyone else still comes up and now he has Lance’s family as well.

Since they met they grew close immediately, and with them living right next door to one another they would visit each other on Christmas day. Eventually it got to the point of the families sharing the two boys on the holiday. One year they ate dinner with one family and dessert with the other. Present opening at both places fell after the meals so everyone get to enjoy everything.

Both families took each boy into their celebrations with open arms, since Lance’s family is just as big on Christmas and family. Since the age of probably 7 or 8, Lance and Hunk have celebrated Christmas together and they wouldn't have it any other way. Although, if Hunk is being honest, he’d be really happy if they could come home with significant others at some point. Like, oh say, Shay and Keith.

Just a thought.

This year, of course, it’s just them. It’s also a year where dinner is at the McClain home. Hunk and Lance have already opened presents with the family, Luis trying not to pout in front of his wife and daughter over his new ugly sweater. The tradition started about ten years ago when Lance found a christmas sweater he loved and bought it with some money he earned babysitting for a neighbor. Luis thought it was gross and one day grabbed it to clean up a mess, ruining it forever. When Lance cried about it, Luis told him only losers got ugly sweaters, so that christmas Lance made him one.

The first year Luis was _pissed_ , but Hunk’s been informed by his wife that he still has _all ten_ sweaters in a storage container at home. He lets their daughter wear them under the condition she doesn’t do it in front of Lance and she doesn’t tell him her father still has them. Hunk hopes Luis tells him eventually, he knows Lance would be so happy to hear it he’d probably cry for an hour.

Anyways, they are eating dinner now, Luis handing Lance glass after glass of eggnog. The meal itself is, as usual, huge and vastly different from what they have at his home. It’s a traditional Cuban feast. There are bacalao fritters which are salt cod fritters, eggplant and tomato stew, a salad, mojo marinated pork, and mashed boniato with onions. At first these foods didn’t feel like Christmas for him, little 8 year old Hunk frowned at the taste the first time. It was delicious, but his parents make the basic American Christmas meal, so all the spices and flavors felt wrong to associate with the holiday.

Now he loves it.

He catches Luis slipping Lance a fourth cup of eggnog and Hunk snatches it up from the clearly drunk teen, “Dude you need to chill.”

“Nah, come on.” Lance pouts, “I love eggnog.”

“Yeah, well,” Hunk sniffs the drink and wrinkles his nose, “I’m 90% sure this has _very_ little actual eggnog in it. Luis is trying to get you drunk.”

“Aw, Hunk, don’t rain on my parade.” Luis smirks, “I want to see Lance strip down to his boxers and be a reindeer again like last year.”

“As his best friend, I cannot allow that to happen.” Hunk points out and Lance gives him a grateful smile. Everyone goes back to eating for a while, until Lance pulls out his phone. “Whatchya doin, buddy?”

“Calling Keith.” Lance says, a determined look in his eye, “I want to wish him a Merry Christmas. I already sent Pidge a text, I don’t want Keith to think I’m avoiding him.”

Hunk smiles fondly at his friend, “Then you can get away with a text message, right? It’s Christmas, I’m sure he’s busy.”

Lance looks at his phone with a soft smile, “Yeah, his brother and him are with Pidge’s family.” He says before nodding to himself, “Alright! I’m gonna text him instead!”

Hunk rolls his eyes and watches Lance send a message, then sees the large grin on his face when Keith responds almost immediately. He texts furiously for two minutes before his eyes go wide and he smacks Hunk’s shoulder.

“KEITH SPEAKS _SPANISH_!” Lance screams, holding his phone up to Hunk, “LOOK AT HIM! I MEAN, IT!”

Hunk laughs a little and sees their conversation. Poor Keith seems so confused, but Hunk’s got to admit he’s impressed with how dedicated he seemed to be towards Spanish in high school. Five years is a lot. “That’s pretty cool, Lance.”

Lance nods and goes back to texting him, “ _D_ _ios mio,_ he’s speaking Spanish to me.” He breathes out, staring at his screen with the dopiest grin ever before suddenly going bright red and shoving his phone in his pocket.

“What’s up?”

“N-nothing!” His best friend squeaks out, going back to his meal.

“Ok…” Hunk drops it for a few minutes, eating as well.

Until the curiosity starts eating him up inside.

“Did he say something weird?”

“I...um...I think he’s hitting on me?” Lance offers and Hunk’s eyes almost pop out of his head.

 _“Keith!? Keith-Keith!?_ Does he _know_ how to flirt?”

“I-I don't know! It was probably an accident!” The lanky teen looks at him in a panic, “Keith _accidentally_ hit on me in _Spanish_! How am I supposed to be able to handle that!?”

“Lance…” Hunk narrows his eyes, “Did you leave Keith hanging? For almost _twelve_ minutes?”

“Um…” Lance looks away sheepishly and Hunk looms over him.

“You text that boy back right this instant.”

“R-right.”

Lance’s mother, Rosita, looks to them confused, “Keith is that boy in your videos, right?” She asks and Luis smirks.

“The one Lance is always flirting with.”

“Texting him on the holidays during dinner, boy you’ve got it bad!” Marco laughs, patting his youngest sibling on the back.

“Keith must have it pretty bad, too, if he’s texting back.” Veronica points out with a knowing smirk, “How lucky for you.”

Lance pretends to ignore him, but his blush is reaching his ears as he smiles down at his phone for a minute more before looking up, “He’s just a friend, we don’t flirt, and yes mama he’s the boy from the videos.”

“He’s cute.” Rosita says and his father Diego laughs from beside her.

“It’s true, he is! Snatch that boy up, mijo!”

Lance goes an even darker shade of red and sinks into his seat before getting a new message. The look on his face is one of pure horror. “It’s his brother.” He whispers and Hunk leans over to him.

“No way.”

“What the fuck do I say to him?”

“Play it cool.” Hunk says and Veronica yells over him.

“Ask him for his baby brother’s hand in marriage!”

Lance focuses on his phone a little too intensely and then screams, “He wants to know why I’m messaging Keith! What do I say!?”

“Tell him you’re pitching woo.” Luis teases.

“Tell him because you missed Keith.” Marco suggests, and honestly Hunk is pretty sure he’s right.

“Tell him so you can get a peace when you get home.” Veronica deadpans and Lance chucks a bacalao fritter at her.

“It’s fine, Keith got it ba-nope. Wait. That’s not Keith.”

“How do you know?” His niece, Luisa, asks curiously.

“Keith doesn’t call me ‘dear’.”

“Maybe he’s starting now.” Marius, his nephew, teases.

“Nope, it’s Pidge’s mom.” Lance says before grinning, “Cool I’m talking to Pidge’s mo-oh nope she’s gone.”

“Pidge’s mom gets excitement and Keith’s brother gets fear?” Hunk asks, amused.

“He doesn’t want in Pidge’s pants.” Luis points out, earning him a smack on the forearm from his wife.

“There are _children_ here!” She scolds and he quickly apologizes. “Jeez, you’re ridiculous.”

“Love you, too.” Luis teases, kissing her on the cheek.

The rest of dinner is pretty uneventful, even though Lance is still periodically texting Keith everyone eventually drops it. After dinner they hug everyone and excitedly head off to Hunk’s family’s for dessert. His mother made a big spread, as always. There is fa’ausi, a traditional samoan dessert made of coconut bread covered in a sweet coconut sauce, then pies and pudding and even a cheesecake.

Lance takes a picture of it all and sends it to Keith, laughing and showing Hunk his response.

**Keith:**

(4:30) God damn, it figures Hunk’s family kitchen table would look like heaven in dessert form.

Hunk smiles. “We’ll bring them some back.”

“Apparently cheesecake is his favorite dessert.” Lance says and Hunk nods.

“Gotcha. I’ll make it for him on his birthday.” He decides and Lance types before rolling his eyes.

“He said to tell you that you’re his favorite.” Lance pouts at his phone, “I could make cheesecake.”

“You haven’t made any meals for him yet. When they come to pick up desserts from us, just make dinner.”

“Yeah,” His friend grins, “ _Yeah_. I’ll knock his socks off with my sweet cooking skills.”

Hunk sighs in relief. Finally, a _normal_ way of flirting.

“So Keith is that boy you do your videos with, right?” Hunk’s mother, Teuila (Tay-wee-lah), asks and he nods.

“Yeah.”

Teuila shares a knowing smile with his mother, “Looks like Lance’s taste is getting better.”

Hunk laughs. “Let’s hope so!”

“So tell us about Shay.” Teuila smirks and Hunk shoots a dirty look at Lance who just grins.

“Lance says you have a date.” His dad, Manuia, says, coming up and standing next to his wife.

“W-well...um...she’s 20 years old, and works at the local ER. She’s in college to become and RN.” Hunk explains and his parents nod.

“So how did you meet?” Manuia asks.

“Lance got himself hurt at school one day, it was actually how we met Pidge, too. He was dicking around on a wall at school that’s about five feet up and then he fell right onto Pidge’s car. She followed us to the hospital to make sure he was okay, and Shay treated him.” Hunk smiles softly as he remembers how panicked Pidge had been and how calm and helpful Shay was. Lance had been unconscious and Pidge was a bigger mess than him, Hunk having grown pretty numb to it over the years, but as he and Pidge were brought out of the room so the doctor could be alone with Lance, Shay had taken the time not only to comfort Pidge, but also Hunk.

She had been talking to Pidge, telling her the facts about concussions and how he would be okay because it wasn’t a serious one. Once the girl had calmed down a bit, Shay got up and placed a hand on Hunk’s, smiling down at him with the most beautiful, gentle smile he’d ever seen. She asked if he was worried, he admitted Lance does this shit pretty frequently and she just smiled and pointed out he could still be worried about him. That was when he realized he was, and got teary eyed, bemoaning his best friend’s ability to always do the dumbest, most dangerous, shit.

Shay comforted him for a bit and then left, leaving him and Pidge alone. That was when Pidge and him started really talking. They had some classes together and bonded over Lance’s stupid ass decisions fucking with other people.

After that night he saw Shay at school and she talked to him and Lance, always warning the latter not to do anything too dangerous. Once Lance was back in school Pidge came back, too, hounding him to pay for the damage his body did to her car. He did, and then decided Hunk and him needed to take her under their wing and started to show up after their shared classes to drag them off to places for lunch of studying.

Once he’s finished his story, the whole family has gathered to hear it, and laugh some. It’s good natured, not even teasing, just warm and amused.

“We asked about the girl you have a date with, not the girl you became friends with.” Manius points out, before grinning, “But I guess both are equally important, huh?”

Hunk smiles, “It was a good day.”

Lance scoffs, “Yeah, I mean concussion aside it was pretty great.” He smirks at Hunk, “Bet you’re glad I walked on that wall, huh?”

Hunk shoots him a look.

Dessert goes well, and opening presents does, too. Lance isn’t on top of his phone during it, much more polite with Hunk’s family than his own. Around seven they say goodnight to each other, Lance getting hugs from the whole family before he heads off to his own.

The rest of the weekend is pretty uneventful. He helps his dad stack firewood here and there, and makes dinners with his mother.

New years eve both families join together at the McClain home (they switch that each year as well), and once again Lance gets drunk and texts Keith. This time, though, Keith only answers him a few times, informing him he was in the middle of a Mario Kart game with his brother, Pidge, and her brother.

Hunk’s honestly relieved because the boy is much more drunk this time and who knows what stupid shit he would have said. He wants them to get together, but he wants them to do it right.

The time to leave comes too soon, and Hunk finds himself teary eyed when he hugs his crying mother and father goodbye. He meets up with Lance at the car, who is also a mess, and the two just share a sad smile.

“At least you get to have your date with Shay.” Lance offers and Hunk nods.

“We get to go back to Keith and Pidge, too, out New York family.”

His best friend laughs a little, “Yeah, our dysfunctional little family.”

Hunk nods, a calm smile on his face as Lance drives them away. Florida will always be home to him, but nowadays, with friends waiting for them in New York, their little apartment there is starting to feel like home, too.

It takes a few days, but once they get home both boys run upstairs with their luggage and collapse on their couches, sighing in relief.

“Hotels have nothing on this.” Hunk says happily and Lance laughs a little.

“We were in a motel, Hunk. Best brush up on that unless you want Keith to lose his shit.”

He looks over to Lance and smirks, “Brushing up on the difference for your _crush_? How considerate of you.”

“He’s not my crush, Hunk.” Lance groans and Hunk just rolls his eyes.

“How long are you gonna say that, Lance? Denial has its limits, bro.”

“It’s not denial, Hunk. Jesus.”

The two stay silent for a few minutes, each laying on a different couch and staring up at the ceiling, until Lance startles him by speaking up.

“I’m having fun, Hunk.” Lance admits quietly, “I like what we all have. So, no, I don’t like Keith.”

“You can like Keith and still have what he all have. It would still be fun.”

“Nope, it wouldn’t. It doesn’t matter, though, because I don’t like Keith.”

Hunk groans, rolling over on the couch to look at the TV, “Alright, fine, you don’t like Keith.” As if on cue, Lance’s phone goes off and Hunk looks over to him with a smirk, “Who’s texting you?”

Lance pouts, looking down at his phone, “It’s Keith telling me they will be coming tomorrow at 3.”

“Telling _you,_ huh?” Hunk smirks and Lance huffs.

“Yes, Hunk, just drop it.” He grumbles, staring at his phone as he responds.

“Alright, fine, I’ll drop it.” Hunk relents.

 

For today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas in June! I want literally all of the food I listed on here. ALL. OF. IT.
> 
> HOW. FUCKING. AMAZING. WAS THAT NEW EPISODE OF BUZZFEED UNSOLVED? 
> 
> VERY. VERY AMAZING.


	13. Pidge's second Christmas...is much less magical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge and Keith go to see Lance and Hunk after what honestly feels like forever.

 

Pidge comes out of her room, eying her roommate with disdain. The bastard is sprawled out on the couch, dicking around on his phone completely ready to leave.

Is _Pidge_ ready though?

No.

Her ass had to stay up until 6 playing the new game she got for Christmas. She wants to say there's no regrets, but, honestly...there's some regrets.

Like agreeing to the dumbass idea of meeting up at _noon_ for desserts. She could have waited until a better time like 4 but nooo her stomach waits for nothing. Not even sleep deprivation.

To be fair, she knows it's not Keith's fault she's exhausted, but he lives with her and he's just _laying there_ like he doesn't have a care in the world. Like his best friend isn't currently the walking dead and very much not willing to function enough to get ready for this meal like he's waiting for her to.

“Fuck you, Keith.” She grumbles on her way past the indifferent _asshole_ on the couch.

“Gonna be a hard pass from me, thanks.” Keith responds, entirely unfazed. “Now move you zombie ass, there's some seriously delicious looking dessert calling my name.”

Pidge gives him the harshest glare she can currently muster, but the asshole doesn't see it with his head buried in his phone so she goes for the next best option, “Ohhh?” She smirks, “So we're calling Lance dessert now?”

The immense pleasure she feels when Keith's phone drops on his face is indescribable.

“Shut up and get dressed you god damn _corpse_.” Keith huffs, face bright red as Pidge cackles in the most obnoxious possible way while she heads to the bathroom.

Dead or not, as soon as the water hits her in the shower Pidge is up and ready to go. She makes quick work of getting ready, tossing on a green sweater her mom gave her that has a wrapped gift on it with the words ‘schrodinger's present’ above it in Christmas tree lights.

“Okay, I'm ready.” She says, heading out of the bathroom and being greeted with an amused side glance from Keith.

“Nice sweater, nerd.”

“Oh please, do you even _own_ anything that's not black or red?” Pidge counters and he goes silent, probably thinking.

“I think I own something purple…? Somewhere.” Keith mutters, looking down at his black t-shirt in disappointment, “Maybe.”

“Yeah, well, I've _seen_ that purple shirt and it's so dark it's basically just black.” She counters, “So don't knock my sweater, boy.”

Keith smirks at her, “I didn't know you were so attached.”

“Bitch I might be.” She counter because it honestly might be her new favorite piece of clothing. It's soft and warm and has _schrodinger_ on it. And really, isn't _every_ present a schrodingers present?

“Well, whatever, you're ready so let's just go.” Keith says, getting up and heading for the door.

They have a quick argument about taking the car, Keith not seeing the point with them living so close, and Pidge refusing to walk in the _snow_. She eventually wins when she points out they will be eating a lot and a full Keith is a sleepy Keith (a full Pidge is, too, but that's besides the point).

When they arrive Keith knocks awkwardly, and honestly way too quiet, especially wiyh the _loud ass_ Christmas music coming from the apartment, so Pidge decides to opt out of being a polite guest and bursts through the door.

“We're  here! Everybody better be decent!” She calls as they make their way to the boys, taking great joy in the fact Lance _actually_ glances down at himself.

Like the fucking dork he is.

“You know, _most_ people knock.” Lance says, shooting her a look she pointedly ignores.

“We actually _did_ knock.” Keith points out, shooting him the same look, “Maybe you could turn down the Christmas music _in January_ and listen for it next time.”

Lance looks at him, clearly insulted, “I was just setting the mood for _our_ Christmas, you neanderthal.”

Keith glares, “How does that make me a neanderthal!?”

“Because you don't understand the value of Christmas!” Lance yells, stepping closer to Keith until they are both figuratively and _literally,_ bumping heads.

“I _understand it_! I just didn't know that was what we were doing here!”

“Don't sweat it, Keith.” Hunk says, moving around them to place some food on the table.

That's when Pidge sees it.

Literal _heaven_ on a table.

It's full of delicious looking desserts and even _dinner._ The foods are ones she doesn't know, but has no doubt are _amazing._ They sure fucking smell amazing.

“Damn I didn't realize we were going to _heaven_ today!” She practically swoons and Hunk laughs.

“It looks good, doesn't it?” He asks, Pidge nodding emphatically.

“It looks _incredible_.”

“Thanks,” Lance says, turning his attention for arguing with Keith to look at her, “My mom and I made the meal, with some help from my sister. Hunk and his mom made the desserts.” He grins proudly before striking a pose, “My mom made this shirt, too.”

Pidge looks over and let's out a small laugh. It's a cute shirt, _definitely_ something Lance would wear. The t-shirt itself is blue, his favorite shade of blue, and in it is a large magnifying glass over a blob ghost, with the words ‘search for the bootiful’. “Oh my god, I love it!” She grins, enjoying the pride on her friend's face.

“It's great, isn't it?” He asks and she nods.

“Is that, like, your business shirt?” Keith teases as he fills up a plate, “Gonna wear it to the next haunted place?”

“Damn right I am.” Lance smirks, “Don't worry, I'll have mom make one for you, too.” He laughs a little at the horror on Keith's face before heading over to the cupboards to get everyone a glass.

The stare down Keith has with the now exposed flesh of Lance's hip is too obvious and Pidge can't help herself.

“Pretty tasty looking spread, isn't it?” She teases, smirking when Keith starts choking on air before giving her a harsh look, “What? I'm just saying...dessert looks _good_. Doesn't it, Keith?”

“ _Pidge_ ,” Keith hisses, trying not to drop his plate, and she can't help but laugh.

“You wanna take a _bite_ , Keith?” She asks, enjoying how increasingly red his face is getting, “Bet I can guess _where.”_

Keith's face looks about ready to combust she he leans in and with all the venom he can muster, whispers “ _You're a monster_ ,” before heading to one of the couches.

Pidge can't help it, she sets her plate down and doubles over laughing, soon joined in by Hunk who is quietly chuckling to himself, no doubt aware of everything that just happened.

“What the hell guys?” Lance asks, eying everyone suspiciously, “What the hell did you do to Keith?” He asks, gesturing to the still blushing boy on the couch.

“Nothing,” She manages to get out through giggles, “Just picking on Keith for how _excited_ he is about _dessert_.”

“FUCK YOU, PIDGE!” Keith yells from the living room.

“Gonna be a hard pass from me, thanks!” She counters, bursting into laughter again at the frustrated groan he makes.

“...Right…” Lance mutters, looking between the two a little more.

“So how are your families?” Hunk asks as they all finally head into the living room to join Keith, him and Lance sitting on the couch next to Pidge and Keith's, Lance not-so-subtly making sure to sit on the end closest to Keith.

“It was good, it was fun,” Pidge says before taking a bit of food and continuing, “Keith's brother cried because he thought his baby boy was having a torrid affair with a Kansas man without telling him.”

Hunk’s eyes widen and Lance laughs.

“That's _not_ why he cried, Pidge!” Keith fumes, glaring at the girl.

“But he _did_ think that you were having a torrid affair?” Lance asks, covering his mouth to try and stifle his laughter.

“He didn't think it was a _torrid affair_ , but he _did_ think I was dating someone in Kansas, yeah.” Keith admits and Lance bursts out laughing.

“ _You?_ ”

“I've had more relationships than you, lover boy.” He counters and Lance quickly goes quiet as Pidge looks at the two curiously.

Just how much did they share on the ride to Kansas?

“Anyways, he was upset because he could tell I was keeping a secret and went off to Kansas, he thought maybe we were gonna move. For some reason _Matt_ thought I was seeing someone in Kansas.” Keith explains and Lance can't hide his amusement at the while thing.

“Why would he think that?” He asks and Keith goes bright red.

“Fuck if I know, Matt's weird.”

“I still can't believe he _cried_.”

“It's not funny, Pidge! The guy never cries, I felt like the biggest asshole. All because I was too embarrassed to say we were _ghost hunting._ ” Keith explains, frowning.

“Welp, that's what you get for not telling daddy Shiro what you were doing.” Pidge teases and Keith quickly levels her with a look.

“Do _not_ call him that. Ever. Again.”

“So when do _we_ get to meet daddy Shiro?” Lance asks, smirking at Keith's frowning frustration.

“What did I _just_ say!?” He yells before sinking back into his seat on the couch, “Never, if you call him that again.”

“Awwww, come on, mullet.” Lance whines before pouting at his food, “Too bad, I bet he's hot, too.”

“What makes you think that?” Pidge smirks, “Because Keith is hot?”

Lance and Keith go bright red, the latter's fork making a loud clang when it falls to his plate, “Th-that’s not...what I meant! I-I just meant...um...b-because...your brother is dating him, right? He can’t be ugly…”

“Matt could probably fall in love with a burlap sack if it had Shiro’s personality.” Keith points out and Pidge snickers.

“No doubt.” She agrees, “Shiro obviously doesn't care about looks, either. I mean, he fell in love with Matt, after all.”

“Yeah,” Keith nods, “Matt looks _way_ too much like you to be attractive.”

“Ugh, whatever. Shiro looks _nothing_ like you, thank god.” She says, instantly regretting it when the smirk on Keith's face drops to a deep frown.

“Do we really not look alike?”

“Ugh, of course you dweebs look alike. Literally anyone who sees you walking by can tell you're brothers.” Pidge groans, relaxing a little when Keith smiles.

“So,” He looks over to Lance and Hunk, “How were your families?”

“Great! My parents found out about Shay and started asking a bunch of questions.” Hunk admits, a shy smile on his face, “If it goes well, I'd like them to meet her…”

“They'd love her.” Pidge agrees, making his smile brighten even more. “How about you, Lance? Luis give you a hard time about the sweater?”

“Not really. He was a little shit like always, but not over that. Too much.” Lance grins, “But Marco and his wife are thinking of getting a puppy! I told them they absolutely have to  get it when I come down so I can see it before it's corrupted.”

“Aw, man, I miss Bae Bae.” Keith sighs, “Dogs are the best.”

“I swear Keith loves Bae Bae more than our entire family.” Pidge jokes.

“Yup. Absolutely.”

“Why don't you guys have a dog, then? Doesn't your apartment allow pets?” Hunk asks and they both shrug.

“We haven't really taken the time to think about it, really. Not to mention with us running around doing these ghost hunting things now it would be hard.” She points out.

“Plus, the initial vet bills are _insane_. Between shots and getting them fixed. Even from the SPCA you still have a lot of things to buy.” Keith shrugs, “They are a big responsibility that we haven't really considered yet.”

“Someday.” Pidge says, meaning it wholeheartedly.

“Definitely someday.” Keith agrees.

“Well, alright then. When you get one we need to meet it immediately.” Lance grins, “Uncle Lance and Uncle Hunk will always be up for puppy sitting.”

Keith smiles at him, “How can I possibly trust you not to turn it against me?”

“I can't keep it here, so I need it to still like you when it goes home.” Lance explains and Keith rolls his eyes.

“Dweeb.”

“He'll probably end up at our place all the time, or peaking through the windows to look at it.” Pidge jokes, her and Hunk laughing with Keith as Lance looks to the raven haired boy.

“Speaking of stalker, did yours bother you at home?” He asks, his face suddenly serious and-

Wait

KEITH TOLD HIM ABOUT-?

“What was his name? Alex?” Lance offers and Pidge looks to Keith in _shock._

“You _told him about Alex?_ ” She gasps and Keith shrugs.

“You and Hunk were asleep for a long time.” He says, in lieu of explaining because he _wants to die._

There are a few things Keith never speaks of; his parents death, the fact his dad is from Texas (her fault, entirely, she made so many jokes he just shut the whole thing down), and the fact _he had a stalker._

What the FUCK else does Lance know? Because really out of those three the stalker and his parents death are the two he _absolutely_ doesn't talk about.

She feels like she'd know if he told Lance about Texas.

The whole world would know, probably.

“Wait, wait, you have a stalker?” Hunk asks, looking to Keith with concern, “How..?”

Keith groans and looks to Pidge, silently passing the baton to her.

“Well there was a guy who moved to the house on the other side of Keith's, named Alex. He was bi and pinning for Keith _forever_ . Kept throwing hints that Keith never really picked up because he's an idiot.” Her story is interrupted by an elbow to her side, “Anyways, he went out with him and dude was crazy intense. Second date I was there and he told Keith he _loved_ him. Second date. Keep in mind they didn't hang out before dating. So, yeah, a few days later loverboy came to his place while it was just us and got really handsy with Keith who kept pushing him away. I finally used a little toy of mine to set his pant leg on fire so  he would leave and then Keith broke up with him. Then he kept trying to go back over to hang out, but Keith had to pretty much hide himself when he was home alone.”

“Pidge.” Keith mutters and she nods.

“Right, sorry. Anyways, one day Shiro caught him at the house and connected the dots and _lost his shit_. We heard him yelling from my place and Matt ran over to make sure everything was good. Turns out my brother prevented his boyfriend from committing a murder.”

Lance frowns, looking to Pidge, and she can't help but wonder how much of this is new information to him, just how much Keith left out, and how much he knows _she's_ leaving out.

Nothing too terrible, they were never one but that one time and nothing happened, but there's still things she knows Keith doesn't want to think about. Like the bathroom in their brothers’ house that's now abandoned because Alex would watch Keith in it, or the time he jumped into the car with Pidge, Keith and Colleen when they were going grocery shopping, talkin about nothing but second chances until her mom kicked him out.

Or all the drunken messes he got into in his yard at night, singing songs to Keith from his own yard until someone would call the cops. Usually Shiro.

“He's calmed down.” Pidge assures them, and he has, “He doesn't talk to Keith or anything out of fear for what Shiro might do to him, and he pretty much just watches from his windows now. Hopefully it'll fade completely soon.”

“Seriously,” Lance groans, “It's been, like, two years.”

“Lets talk about something else.” Keith says and Lance nods.

“So about the next place we're going…” He begins, looking at everyone a little guiltily, “Well, the place I would _like_ to go. We, um...need to discuss some things…”

Pidge suppresses a groan.

She knows _exactly_ what they need to discuss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This month was shit, sorry. You know what wasn't though? Season 6.


	14. Shiro is unsure about the tall one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro and Matt get roped into the next trip.  
> They're both pretty excited about it.

AYJ 14

 

Shiro looks down at his watch impatiently for probably the 50th time today. Last month, a day or two after his brother and Pidge returned home from Christmas, he and Matt received a random facetime call from the two. To his surprise, they asked them to go on their next ghost hunting adventure. They explained it was going to be in  _ Arizona _ and so they had to wait until mid February, around the college’s winter or whatever break. 

Naturally Shiro agreed. He and Matt took the time off from their jobs the next day and have saved up for it since, making sure to save a little extra to help the struggling kids and buy their siblings gifts. 

Don’t judge. 

There’s nothing wrong with buying your siblings gifts. Keith is sort of like a son to Shiro, after all, seeing as how he raised him for so long. Even if it has been with Sam and Colleen’s help.

“Shiro, you’re gonna make scuff marks on the floor,” Matt teases as he comes up to his boyfriend impatiently pacing in front of the living room window, “They are on their way, it’s only been two hours since they left. If they got here that quick I’d be kinda worried.” He points out, and Shiro has to admit he has a point, so naturally that’s when the little blue vehicle this Lance kid owns pulls up. “Oh damn.” The man next to him whistles, “Boy’s got a lead foot that rivals Keith and Pidge.”

Shiro’s  _ not  _ impressed.That kid has  _ precious cargo _ in there, just what the fuck is he doing getting here so early?

“Easy, tiger.” Matt laughs, giving him a quick kiss before heading to the door, “Don’t go all Daddy Shiro on him just yet.”

Shiro groans, “I told you to stop calling me that.”

“Come on, it’s not like I call you it to other people, it’s fine.” The so called love of his life laughs as he opens to door, easily catching Pidge when she leaps into his arms, “What’s up, brat?”

“Put me out of my misery.” She whines, plopping her face into his chest and groaning.

Shiro looks past them, to the other three. There’s two boys he doesn’t recognize, who are no doubt Hunk and Lance, the bigger one grins at him, waving. The lanky one is arguing with Keith.

“Look, I know someone dumb enough to have a _mullet_ obviously doesn’t have many brain cells, but to be so _stupid_ as to say that demons are _fairytales_ is just _ludicrous_! I don’t even know if I can look at you right now!” The boy says and Keith just leans against the car glaring at him. They are _right up_ in each other's personal space , the new boy’s arm resting on the hood of the car and conveniently behind Keith's shoulders, their bodies relaxed despite the argument and seriously _too fucking close_.

“I keep  _ telling you _ that religious bullshit holds absolutely no credence to me. It’s like getting upset I don’t believe in the spaghetti monster!” He argues, which earns an appalled gasp from the boy.

“Don’t worry.” The smiling one says as he comes up to the door, “They do this all the time. Lance and Keith don’t really know how to talk without getting into a fight, usually.” He laughs, holding out his hand, “I’m Hunk, you must be Shiro.”

Shiro forces himself to turn his eyes away from the argument long enough to shake the boy’s hand, “Nice to meet you.” He says, his focus immediately going back to Keith and who is apparently  _ Lance _ .

Dragging Keith to Kansas, Lance.

Making his brother actually get some sort of enjoyment out of Matt’s lame Christmas sweaters, Lance.

_ Texting Keith during Christmas, Lance. _

Shiro is  _ not  _ impressed. 

“-About as likely as someone getting stuck in a  _ wormhole _ !” Keith yells and Lance actually  _ presses his forehead  _ against his baby brother’s.

“I’ll stick  _ you  _ in a wormhole!” Lance yells before Shiro descends upon them, splitting them up.

“That’s enough!” He scolds and both boys go rigid in his grasp as Pidge actually laughs so hard she starts coughing in the background. “You don’t behave like that with my baby brother!”

“ _ Oh my god _ ,” Keith groans, clearly mortified as Lance just stares at him wide eyed and scared  _ shitless _ .

Obviously this isn’t the impression the kid planned on making when he arrived, if the button up shirt and slacks he’s wearing are anything to go by. He’s sure as shit not dressing up like that for a 37 hour car ride.

“ _ Mierda _ ,” Lance whispers angrily to himself before waving his hands around, “L-lo siento! I’m really sorry about that! We were just having a friendly debate!”

“You were  _ insulting him _ and then  _ getting in his face _ .” Shiro points out, not interested in excuses.

“You’ve gotta drop it, Shiro!” Pidge calls from the door, “This is how they flirt, just let it go, man!”

Lance and Keith both blush and Shiro finds himself letting out probably the most frustrated groan he’s ever mustered before dropping them both and heading for the door. He walks a little slower, though,when  he hears Lance whispering to Keith.

“So your brother  _ is  _ hot!”

“I  _ swear to god _ , Lance, if you ogle him in any way I will personally see to it you can't look at anyone ever again.” His little brother practically hisses and Shiro can’t help but smile to himself.

“He’s with someone,  _ obviously  _ I’m not going to. I’m just happy I was right.” Lance explains, “Now to see what Pidge’s brother looks like.”

“She never show-? No, wait, yeah that sounds about right,” He hears Keith sigh, “Come on, just, you know,  _ behave _ . Shiro’s kind of the biggest mother hen you will meet and he won’t hesitate to pluck out someone’s eyes if they mess with his flock.”

“You know  _ brood _ is the more chicken centered term.” Lance points out and Keith groans.

“I don't care. Just make sure not to piss him off because he can and will kick your ass.”

Shiro feels both pride and a bit of annoyance. That’s not being a  _ mother hen _ , it’s being a good brother. 

God, he wishes people would stop calling him things like that.

“Speaking of Shiro being a badass big brother,” Lance begins, possibly earning a brownie point, “Where’s that creepy stalker of yours live? In the house to the right, wasn’t it? Is- _ oh my god is he the dude in the window right now _ ?” He asks, moving closer to Keith as he stares the guy in the window down.

Shiro immediately turns to gape at the oblivious boys because Keith literally  _ never  _ talks about Alex. Yet here Lance is, knowing where he lives and  _ who he is. _

“Yeah, that’s him.” Keith groans, allowing Lance to move in front of him and block Alex’s view.

Which, also,  _ what _ ? 

“He’s got a lot of nerve,” Lance glares up at the window and flips Alex off, “I should go kick his ass.” He decides and Keith’s hand immediately shoots up to grab his sleeve.

“ _ Or _ , you know, we could just go inside and ignore him.”

“Absolutely not! You see that look he’s giving me? Like ‘how dare he be near Keith?’ Fuck that! I’ve got more right than him, the creepy ass stalker. He’s going  _ down. _ ”

Keith sighs and grabs Lance’s shoulders, pushing him towards the house, “Nope, it’s time to go inside now, Lance.” He orders as the boy in front of him stutters in his footsteps trying to resist. Eventually Lance gives up the fight, though, but not without making sure to flip Alex off one more time on their way over.

Shiro sighs to himself as they all head inside to grab their stuff, including some tech equipment Matt wants to bring. 

Lance and Hunk take a minute to fawn over the baby pictures of Keith and the little picture collar of him and Pidge together over the years. Keith's face is bright red as he tries to pry them away, and Lance looks  _ way _ more smitten with the pictures than Hunk. Like they're the best thing in the world. 

Which they are, to Shiro, but they sure as shit shouldn't be to this guy. 

He was honestly afraid of this. During Christmas when he saw the smile Keith would get every time he looked at his phone, he knew. Just. Fucking.  _ Knew. _

This kid isn’t going  _ anywhere _ .

“So, that car is kind of...tiny for all of us.” Matt points out, looking at Lance’s vehicle in the driveway, “ We should probably use Shiro’s van.” He smirks at his boyfriend, “Shiro’s  _ mom van _ .”

“It’s not a mom van.” Shiro groans, “It’s the most logical second vehicle choice. There’s room for  _ everything _ . We’re active people, Matt.”

Matt looks like he has something to say, probably the same thing he says every time they have this conversation. Instead he settles for laughing a little, kissing Shiro on the cheek before sliding into the passenger’s seat. “I know, babe, I know.”

Shiro sighs and looks to his little brother, pointedly ignoring how Lance is kind of obnoxiously making sure to tower behind him so Alex can’t get a peak, “You think it’s a good choice, right?”

Keith raises a brow and looks over the vehicle for a moment, “For this exact situation, yes. Anything else…”

“I think it’s a great choice,” Lance says from behind Keith as he begins ushering Shiro’s  baby brother into the van, “It’s got great storage and seating. People as outgoing as you and Matt probably do a lot of stuff with friends, at least Keith said you do, so yeah someone should have a van if you do that. Lucky for us it’s you.”

Shiro smiles at the boy, Lance’s obviously sucking up, but honestly this kid’s the only one who has his back so he’ll take it, “Thank you, Lance.”

The smile Lance sends his way is almost blinding, “You’re welcome, Shiro.”

“Why are you trying to suck up to my brother?” Keith groans, sitting down next to Pidge in the very back.

“Gotta get in good with the in-laws.” Pidge teases, earning her an elbow in the side from Keith. 

“ _ Keith _ .” Shiro warns as Lance plops down next to Hunk in the second row and buckles up, “You  _ can’t _ elbow Pidge. How many times do we have to go over this?”

“I guess every time she’s a little shit.” Keith shrugs, before taking in their seating arrangements, “Wait,” he begins, eyeing his brother, “You’re  _ not  _ driving.”

“I absolutely  _ am _ driving.”

“No, no, this isn’t up for discussion, Shiro. This is a 37, now 34, hour drive already, we don’t need it to be 48 hours with you behind the wheel. We’re already losing speed in the fact we are in a soccer mom van. Let Matt drive.”

Shiro shoots his brother the dirtiest look he can muster, but he can’t really argue, “Who raised you to be such a disrespectful little shit?”

“The same asshole who had me believing hickeys were full of maggots until I was 14.” Keith counters and Lance bursts out laughing.

“Oh my god,  _ how did you believe that _ ?” Lance asks, earning him a dark look from Keith.

“You better drop it, Lance.”

“Absolutely not, this is one thing I am going to hold onto forever.  _ Forever _ , Keith. Gonna be 80 years old and I’ll randomly message you about how you thought  _ hickeys  _ had  _ maggots _ . Jesus, no wonder you didn’t get anywhere with your exes.” The boy exclaims, now laughing harder, “Probably thought kissing too much would give you  _ maggots _ .”

Shiro decides to take that moment and head for the passenger seat, but he can still hear them from outside.

“ _ Oh my god, Lance _ ! He told me that sucking on the skin made it die and bring maggots! I didn’t think it happened with kissing!” Keith yells, only making Lance laugh harder.

“Is that  _ really _ your case? Oh my god, this is the best day ever!”

Once he gets into the passenger seat he looks at the two in the rearview mirror. 

Ok, so Keith told him about his stalker, and his love life in general. That’s....very much not a Keith thing to do, but okay. 

So his brother has a crush on this loud, kind of obnoxious kid. It’s okay, it’s fine. Shiro isn’t gonna knock him for it.

The kid is obviously good for the most part. He’s protective of Keith and makes him feel comfortable enough to share things so since Shiro is not some overly protective parent, he will give him a try. Besides, if he's being really honest, he kind of likes Lance already. 

Yes, he will go the obnoxious older brother route and embarrass Keith in front of his new crush.

Mother hen his  _ ass _ .

“Keith was a pretty gullible kid. I had him convinced that the shower drain was actually a communication portal to talk to the FBI until he was seven.” Shiro points out, enjoying the horrified look on Keith’s face.

“Shiro.” Keith warns.

“To be fair, though, he was always book smart. When he was 3 he knew that two dimes and a nickel made twenty-five cents. No one told him, we didn’t even know he knew, mom had mentioned in passing one time what each coin was worth and then one day at a gumball machine he couldn't find a quarter so he put in two dimes and a nickel.” Shiro grins at the loud laughter coming from Lance and Pidge, “When I told him that’s not how it works he tried to get his money back and when he couldn’t he went up to the store clerk and demanded a quarter for his troubles.”

“ _ Shiro. _ ”

“When he was ten mom and Colleen joked about him and Pidge getting married, and he told them no, so they informed him he  _ had to  _ because he kissed her on the cheek one time. He started crying and saying he wanted to marry Aladdin.”

“You are treading  _ dangerously close  _ to being disowned.” Keith hisses.

Shiro decides to stop, turning on the radio and letting everyone settle down. Namely let Lance and Pidge catch their breath. 

Soon enough, they all begin to pull out their phones and flip through stuff.

So he strikes.

“Keith drools in his sleep like a  _ river _ when he’s really comfy.” 

Pidge has to hold Keith back from unbuckling and  _ leaping  _ at him in the  _ moving _ van.

This time he laughs alongside Lance. The muttered ‘that’s too cute’ from the latter goes unnoticed by everyone else.

Being the good brother he is, Shiro stops teasing Keith after the drool fact, mostly because he feels that’s enough for now, but also because he’s about 90% sure one more thing would make Keith  _ actually  _ leap up there and seek vengeance. 

Matt drives for about eight hours, talking with Pidge for a good deal of the time about different technical babble Shiro doesn’t really get. The boy Hunk even joins in. They stop for food about halfway, going through the drive-thru. 

Shiro made the decision so it’s his job to feed Matt his chicken nuggets while he drives. He doesn’t mind. Kind of  _ loves  _ feeding his boyfriend. Even more so when Keith grumbles about how gross they are.

After the eight hours of driving Matt  switches off with Keith, curling up in the backseat with his sister to take a nap. Shiro kind of wishes he could join him, but he also enjoys sitting with his brother and chatting. Or, really, arguing over what music to play.

When Pidge, Matt and Hunk are napping and Lance is watching a video on his phone with headphones, starting to doze as well Shiro decides to talk privately with his brother.

“So, how's work going?” He asks and Keith shrugs.

“It's good. My boss let's me sit in when he fixes up the bikes, think he's gonna let me help him pretty soon instead of just have me selling things in the shop.” Keith answers, trying to play it cool, but Shiro can see the excitement in his eyes and slight curl of his lips. 

Since they were little Keith has been into fixing vehicles. He used to take his toy cars apart and put them back together. Once he met Pidge it just became more elaborate. She made him his own tiny garage and would build fake motorcycles and cars out of plastic for him to work on. The two were easily the  _ biggest _ nerds as kids. Right up there with his boyfriend.

He really wishes Keith would go to school for the trade, but the boy adamantly refuses so he isn't going to push it. When he's ready, Keith will buckle down and do it himself. It's how he's always been.

“How about you? Running into any issues with your arm?” Keith asks and Shiro smiles at him. 

“No, everything is fine. The Garrison has some pretty great technology, basically have their own Winry-level mechanic to look after it for me.” He tries to joke, earning him a look from Keith before the boy scrutinizes his fake arm. 

It’s a sore subject for them. 

Sort of the beginning of their life falling apart.

If Shiro’s being honest, his metal arm upsets him, too. All he can think of when he looks at it are the dreams he once had, the life he had planned to live before everything was taken away.

After high school, when Shiro was eighteen, he and Matt actually joined the military. His parents were still alive at that point and Shiro had decided the best way to make a life for himself and his boyfriend was to go into the army and then go to college. Matt followed because, well, they do everything together. They also wanted to be able to live in military housing together, and gay marriage wasn’t really a thing back then  _ especially  _ in the military, so it just made sense.

They went to training and both did well, Matt grew from a tiny and frail nerd into a pretty impressive man. Shiro’s not gonna lie, he was pretty shocked with how  _ sexy  _ Matt became. It didn’t help that Matt got  _ super  _ into his own newly toned legs and started literally throwing them in Shiro’s face any time he wanted attention.

Well, he still does, actually.

Aside from Matt’s change, Shiro changed noticeably as well, but that was more after taining. Immediately after the four months of training, they were dispatched overseas. They were glad to go together, but when they arrived they both wished the other didn’t have to be there. It was lonely, it was dangerous.

Halfway through their tour they got caught up in a car bomb. Matt got bruised up and recieved hearing damage but Shiro...Shiro lost an arm protecting him. The explosion got them sent back home with honorable discharges. 

He planned on going to college after that, they both got enrolled in a really good one about twenty minutes from home, and he was honestly excited to start. His goal was to be a teacher, to help kids out and give them a safe person to talk to. After he enrolled he used to go on and on to Keith about how  _ excited  _ he was for college and all the great things he was going to do. The absolute admiration in his brother’s eyes just got him more excited for what he was going to do. What he was going to  _ be. _

Shiro had big plans when he was nineteen. 

Then over that summer it all came crashing down around him when their parents died. It was a shock, and none of them were prepared. His parents  _ did  _ have life insurance, which covered their funerals, and they paid off the house years ago so Shiro and Keith could keep their home, but now he had a new job to do.

College was set aside, or really just dropped, and he focused on taking care of Keith.

Shiro had lost his real father years ago, so sadly he wasn’t unfamiliar with the concept, but Keith was. The boy was a mess for a  _ long  _ time. For a few months he would cry every night, waking up from terrible nightmares  _ screaming _ the most painful screams Shiro had ever heard. 

Shiro was at a loss for what to do, until one night when he went to Keith’s room after he woke up screaming. His little brother was shaking, crying into Shiro’s chest and begging him for their mom and dad, just for  _ one last hug _ from them. That’s when Shiro got an idea. He scooped the boy up and brought him to their parents room. It was untouched, both too afraid to go inside, but that night he laid down in the bed with his brother, wrapping them in their parents blankets. It was the first night Keith slept for a full eight hours since their parents had died. Shiro didn’t make him go to school the next day, opting to let him sleep as long as he needed. 

After that night, Shiro would go to bed when Keith did, curling up together in what was left of their parents warmth.

Shiro gave up the idea of college then and there, he couldn’t afford it and needed to care for his brother. The Holts offered to take care of them, to pay their bills until Shiro graduated college, but he couldn’t let them do that. It wasn’t fair to them, was his excuse, but he’s fairly certain now it was just his pride. 

_ He  _ wanted to be the one to take care of Keith.

At the end of that summer Shiro got himself an office job. Sam had set him up as a secretary at the Garrison, the research facility the Holts work at. For the past eight years he’s been working there, climbing up the ladder. He went from secretary to Lab Assistant. Matt’s Lab Assistant, at first, but it was deemed inappropriate for them to work so closely together and he is now, ironically,  _ Sam’s _ assistant.

His life definitely took an unwanted detour, but he’s happy where he is now.

Looking at Keith in the driver’s seat, taking Shiro’s loss of focus as an opportunity to play his  _ emo shit _ , he’s happy they got here.

Even if his brother is crushing on some weird boy who chases  _ ghosts _ . A weird boy who is now asleep like everyone else.

“You know, kid, we should probably stop somewhere for the night.” Shiro points out and Keith glares at him.

“If you can find a  _ hotel _ , Shiro,  _ a hotel _ , we will stop.”

“Yes, your majesty, I wouldn't  _ dream  _ of making you sleep in something as lowly as a  _ motel. _ ”

Keith scrunches up his nose in disgusts, “Affairs and murders happen in motels, Shiro, I don’t like them.”

“I know, I know.” Shiro laughs a little and pulls out his phone to find any nearby hotels. Luckily there’s one off the next turn in about twenty minutes. He makes a call and tries to book two rooms, but they only have suites available still, so he books them a family suite, and tells them their estimated arrival time, since it will be past midnight. “There you go, Keith. A nice hotel and even the family suite.”

Keith raises a brow, “Why the family suite?”

“We need at least three beds, Keith. The family suite has a king and two doubles. It’s kind of a cheap hotel, though, so all three beds are in one room…” Shiro sighs, “It’s gonna be crowded.”

Keith shrugs, “You and Matt should have your own room.”

“Not gonna happen.” He says, ignoring the confused look on Keith’s face.

Not much later they arrive at the hotel, Shiro grabbing the keys while Keith parks, leading the group of still half-conscious people inside. They get up to their room on the top floor and Pidge plops down on one of the doubles, Hunk sitting next to her on it.

“We call this bed.” She says, both Keith and Lance groaning before walking together towards the other dou-wait.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Shiro asks, making sure to use his most intimidating ‘dad’ voice as he looks to Keith and Lance.

“To...bed…?” Keith offers, confused.

“ _ Together? _ ” 

“Well, yeah, we’re guessing you and Matt get the king sized bed, so we’re just splitting into the doubles.” His brother explains, Lance growing paler and moving further away from him the more Shiro stares them down.

“I’m not sleeping with Matt.” Shiro says, moving past the two boys to crawl into the double bed, “I’m sleeping with you. Lance and Hunk can sleep in the king.”

Keith watches his brother curiously, “O...ok…?”

Pidge groans, “You’re ruining all the fun, Shiro.”

Keith smirks over at her, “Guess your bullshit antics won’t be flying for this trip.”

She groans louder.

Shiro ignores them and watches as Lance scurries over to the King sized bed located between the two doubles. Apparently Keith doesn’t get what his issue was, but luckily Lance does. Although he is pretty surprised when Lance chooses to sleep on the side closest to Shiro and Keith’s bed. He wonders if it was on purpose or not, but before he can really dwell on it, the lights are out and pretty much everyone is back to sleep.

As soon as Keith gets under the covers he’s out, his body turned towards Lance and Hunk’s bed, which is fairly normal, since Keith  _ hates  _ facing people when he’s sharing a bed with them. He says it’s too much  _ them _ , that he doesn’t want a face full of someone else’s scent. 

Shiro’s aware he has a weird brother.

He’s also aware that Lance is still awake, staring at Keith, “Can’t sleep?” Shiro offers, making the boy jump a little before smiling nervously at him.

“It’s not that, really, I’m just surprised...I’ve never seen Keith fall asleep so fast.” Lance admits, “I know he has problems getting to sleep before 4 AM, but I guess the fears that keep him up are quelled with his big brother around.” His smile is a little brighter now, almost  _ grateful _ to Shiro. Like it’s a personal favor to  _ Lance  _ that Keith has someone he feel so safe with.

“It’s only natural, I am his brother after all.” Shiro says, smiling back. He’s not entirely sure how he feels about  _ them _ , if that ever happens, but Lance is a good kid and a good friend for Keith.

For now, he has Shiro’s blessing.

“You know,” Lance begins after a few minutes of silence, “Pidge has a nickname for you. Well, a few, but one there’s one I think might suit you best.”

“Oh?” Shiro asks, genuinely curious.

“Daddy Shiro.” Lance grins and Shiro’s expression drops.

"Go to bed, Lance."

He’s changed his mind. 

Lance gets  _ no  _ blessings. 

And Matt, that little  _ shit  _ has some explaining to do.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shiro and Matt will not, in fact, be in every one after this, just so you know. They will join them on some, though. It only took, what, 14 chapters for them to come along?  
> It's fine.  
> My god what does that say for how LONG this thing is gonna be...


	15. Lance can't help the author think of a title so fuck it this is what you get

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God. Damn. Keith. Is really weird about peptalks and was that a southern accent??

Lance yawns for probably the 50th time since they got up. He’s basically got no sleep last night. Don’t get him wrong, he loves sharing a bed with Hunk, the guy is the best big spoon a bro could ask for, but it just didn’t feel right.

Felt like something was off the entire night.

If the bags and grumpy frown on Keith’s face as they loaded up the van were any indication, he had the same problem. Which is odd because Lance spent basically half the night staring at Keith (simply because he was right across from him, of course) and the guy always seemed to be sleeping.

Maybe it was the mattresses.

Keith is definitely asleep now, though. His whole body pressed into a little ball in the corner of the back seat as they stop for gas. Lance looks back at the sleeping boy in envy. The middle seats are in no way shape or form built for sleeping.

“Lance, you look like shit.” Pidge points out from her spot next to Keith, “Why don’t we switch so you can take a nap, too?” She asks and his eyes light up.

“Oh my god, yes!” Lance exclaims, quickly switching with her and reaching into the trunk area behind him to grab a blanket.

His mom used to always say that any good parent keeps a blanket in the car for emergencies or just naps.

Guess she was right.

He makes quick work of covering himself, and Keith, too, since it’s a large comforter, before settling in for a nap.

“Wha-? Pidge, why are you sitting there?” Shiro asks when he returns from grabbing some drinks inside, his eyes quickly finding their way to Lance in the very back. “Why did you switch?”

Lance gulps, too nervous to speak.

“Lance didn't sleep well, either, so he’s taking a nap, too.” Pidge offers and Shiro raises a brow.

“Either? Who else didn’t sleep well?” Shiro asks and Pidge motions to the sleeping Keith, “Huh.” He eyes Lance suspiciously, like somehow that’s _his_ fault.

It’s been really weird with Keith’s brother so far this trip. Granted, they didn't get off on the best foot, but ever since then Shiro seems to go back and forth between hating and liking him.

When they first met, the look Shiro gave him was absolutely terrifying, but he noticed as they were all heading inside Shiro’s expression had shifted to a more resigned one.

Like, wasn't that him accepting this is how Lance and Keith interact?

He even started to tell stories about Keith to embarrass him, and Lance _knows_ they were for him specifically. At one point Shiro even shot him a smile from the rearview mirror!

So _why_ does it feel like the guy is teetering with Lance?

Maybe…

Maybe Shiro finds him to be annoying?

Probably. Most people do.

It sucks, too. He wanted _so badly_ to get along with Shiro. He's heard so much about him from Pidge and Keith lately, the guy is honestly the coolest person ever.

Pidge told Lance about his stint in the army, trying to provide for him and Matt so they could start a life together. Even before their parents passed he was so mature and driven and _capable_!

Best brother material, best boyfriend material.

Lance wants to be like that someday.

Shiro honestly might be his hero, after everything he's heard. He stepped up to raising a _teenage_ Keith, which couldn't have been easy, and if he is being completely honest Shiro did an _amazing_ job. Keith can be weird, and a huge dick, but he's got a good heart and is smart and also cool so _obviously_ Shiro fucking nailed parenting.

But, said hero goes back and forth on hating him, for some reason.

It sucks, but he’s honestly too tired to dwell on it right now, so he curls up on his side of the back seat and tries to get some sleep himself.

Some-odd hours later Lance wakes up sprawled out in the backseat, with Keith sleeping sprawled out _on him_ . He quickly looks to the others to make sure no one is looking, and to his surprise, no one is. Once that’s covered he looks back down at the boy curled up on top of him, his arms around Lance’s chest and his- _holy shit he’s drooling_.

He couldn’t sleep with his brother, apparently, but he’s _drooling_ on Lance’s chest.

With literally _anyone else_ that would be disgusting, yet here Lance is, finding it endearing in spite of himself.

His poor little bi heart can’t take this shit.

A part of him kinda feels he should push Keith off and back into his corner, but the rest of him is tempted to go back to sleep.

It can’t be awkward if he’s asleep.

Look at Keith, after all. Guy’s out fucking cold right now doesn’t even know the _meaning_ of awkward.

You can bet he will when he wakes up, though.

Lance lies there for a few more minutes, trying to figure out what to do, before deciding to get out his phone and text Hunk for help. Best not to bring attention to himself, after all.

 

**Lance:**

 

(1:30) HUNK! DON’T LOOK BACK HERE BC I DON’T NEED TO DRAW ATTENTION TO IT BUT KEITH AND I ARE KINDA

 

(1:30) UM…

 

**Hunk:**

(1:30) Laying on top of eachother, I know.

 

(1:30) We both know,  I think Pidge recorded the progression.

**Lance:**

(1:31) HOW

 

(1:31) HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!?!?!?!?!?!???

**Hunk:**

(1:32) Well, you see, about ten minutes into your _four hour nap_

Matt took a sharp turn and Keith ended up toppling over

and leaning on you, then you sprawled out underneath him

and you guys ended up...like that. Shiro doesn’t know, Matt

noticed but made sure not to tell him.           

**Lance:**

(1:33) SO WHAT DO I DO!? DO I MOVE HIM? LET HIM SLEEP?

HE’S DROOLING, HUNK! DROOLING!

 

**Hunk:**

(1:33) Awwwwwww, but, also, kinda ew, bro.

 

(1:33) I’m sure he looks adorable right now,

and you don’t want to do it, buuuuut ya

gotta move him. His brother is literally a

few feet away from you, man. He didn’t

even want you two to just share a bed last

night, imagine how he will react to seeing

Keith, his baby brother, _on top of you._

(1:33) _Drooling._

 

(1:33) Self preservation, man.

**Lance:**

(1:34) I know, I know. It’s just...really comfy??? He didn’t sleep well,

either, and I feel bad waking him up.

**Hunk:**

(1:34) This is all absolutely adorable, and I 100% approve

of you two cuddled up in the backseat all comfy and cute,

but I don’t want a buff ex military _tank_ of a man to murder my bro

for having his own baby brother wrapped around you. You know?

 

(1:35) I’m too old and set in my ways to find a new bro. I mean

Pidge is great and all, and so is Keith, but after his brother

murders you idk if I will be able to bring myself to see them.

**Lance:**

(1:35) I am both touched and appalled.

**Hunk:**

(1:35) Still gonna deny your gay ass feelings for the boy

literally on top of you, right now?

**Lance:**

(1:36) GOD DAMNIT HUNK NOT NOW

 

Lance feels movement from on top of him, which is _so weird_ , and lowers his phone to see Keith stretching some. His eyes are still closed, but his face scrunches up in disgust when he feels his own drool. Being the _totally aware_ person Keith is when he first wakes up, he goes to flip what he thinks is a pillow over, only to realize what he’s on is _much bigger._

With limbs.

His eyes immediately fly open and he sits up, straddling Lance’s waist, to see said tortured boy smiling up at him awkwardly.

“Hey.” Lance says quietly, to break the tension.

Being half-asleep Keith, he doesn’t speak and instead quickly looks to see if anyone else is watching them. They aren’t. So he gently moves back into his corner and slides Lance’s legs away before taking the entire comforter and hiding in it.

Lance can’t help the fond smile that comes to his face, Keith is almost like a cat when he’s caught unaware, and it’s _adorable._ The smile quickly drops, though, when he feels the cold wetness on his shirt. He looks down in disdain at the drool, all endearment lost when there is no Keith attached to it.

Maybe he can just take his shirt off?

His eyes travel to Shiro in the passenger seat and he frowns. Probably not, so he turns around to peak in the trunk and, thank god, easily finds his bag of clothes. He makes quick work on changing before buckling himself into his seat as quietly as he can so Matt and Shiro don’t know he wasn’t previously.

Almost immediately after he hears a muffled click from under Keith’s blanket cocoon.

“So! Whose hungry!?” Matt asks, with suspiciously perfect timing.

“Oh my god, yes please.” Hunk groans.

“Just anything but McDonalds this time.” Pidge pleads and Matt taps his chin thoughtfully.

“Hmmmmmmmm...no McDonalds….so you want Burger King?”

“I will literally murder you.” Pidge and Keith hiss, the latter poking his head out of the blankets to glare pure rage towards Matt, who laughs it off.

“Alright, alright, how about...oh! Dairy Queen!” He says, pointing to a Dairy Queen up ahead.

“Yeah, that’s good.” Pidge says and Keith nods.

“Hell of a lot better than McDonalds or garbage king.”

The brunette girl turns around in her seat to grin at him, “Nice.” She high fives the still groggy Keith.

“Hunk? Lance? You two good with DQ?” Matt asks.

“Absolutely.” Hunk smiles and Lance nods.

“Yeah, DQ is pretty great.”

They pull in quickly enough and decide to eat there. They’ve only reached Illinois, so it’s still pretty cold, but Matt, Lance, and Pidge want ice cream so it’s decided they will eat inside to keep the van from getting messy.

As decreed by Daddy Shiro.

They all get in line until Pidge dictates that Lance and Keith must find them a seat, saying her and Hunk will order for them. Luckily, it’s pretty dead since it’s ony 2 on a weekday, so they grab a booth at the very back corner and combine a smaller table with it for Shiro and Matt before sliding into different sides.

“Sorry for drooling on your shirt.” Keith mutters and Lance shrugs.

“No problem. You must not have gotten any sleep last night to be so out of it, though.”

The older boy grimaces, “Shiro is a scratchy blob of muscles that is too used to sleeping with Matt. I felt _smothered_.”

Lance raises a brow, “Scratchy…?”

“You didn’t see it, because he didn’t get close enough before showering, but his stubble grows fucking fast and _sharp_ .” Keith groans and buries his face in his hands, “I used to _love_ sharing a bed with him when we were little, sleeping back to back, but god damn he’s too bulky and clingy now. There’s no way in hell I’m sharing a bed with him again on this trip, he can sleep with his boyfriend like god intended.”

Lance can’t help but smile, “Oh? And who are you gonna sleep with?”

“Pidge, I guess.” Keith shrugs before looking outside at the snow, “You know, this trip so far has been a lot less fun than last time.” He mutters and Lance stares at him in shock.

“But...your brother is here.”

“Yeah, but you and Hunk are being on your best behavior or whatever, I mean for god sake you wore a _dress shirt_ yesterday.” Keith sighs, “It’s no fun when you guys are being reserved.”

“Oh,” Lance frowns, “But...what if your brother doesn’t like us? Er, well, me.” His frown deepens and he stares at the table, “Everyone likes Hunk, but I don’t think he likes _me_.”

“He likes you, Lance,” Keith assures him, a confused look on his face, “But even if he didn’t what would that matter? If he didn’t like you we would only take him this once. It’d just be a few days with him. No problems.” He shrugs, apparently _genuinely thinking_ that’s totally fine, “But, like I said, he _does_ like you. I just don't think he knows what to make of you, yet.”

“Not everyone likes me, you know.” Lance points out and he can feel himself starting to sink into that oh-so familiar hole of self-doubt he likes to dig himself from time to time. Shiro’s _so cool_ of course he doesn’t like a ‘goofball’ like Lance.

“Impossible!” Keith mockingly gasps, clutching at his chest, “My lord I simply _do not_ believe it! An _angel_ like you? What in tar- _fucking-_ nation can someone find fault with?” He asks, his voice getting a hint of a southern accent to it, and Lance finds himself laughing.

Hard.

“What the hell, Keith!?” Lance manages through what can only now be described as _giggles,_ at this point, “You're suspiciously good at that accent, Keith!”

Keith just smiles at him, his chin now resting in his hand, “Don’t worry about it.”

“The accent? Or your brother?” He teases and Keith laughs a little.

“Either. Don’t worry about either of them.” His voice is soft now, catching Lance off guard, “There’s nothing about you to not actually like, Lance. I don’t know why exactly Shiro is treating you _differently_ from everyone else, but it’s not because he doesn’t like you.”

Lance smiles back at him fondly for a moment, before a smirk slides into place, “Not gonna tell me about that southern accent, huh?” He asks and Keith’s eyes go wide, surprised.

“Lance, wha-?”

“You must _really_ not want me to know if you're willing to get all _sentimental_ for a distraction.”

Keith’s face goes bright red, a look of pure horror on his face, “Lance, are you _serious_ right now? I just-!”

“Hey guys!” Pidge calls, all grins as she practically _bounces_ over to them with their meals, a suspiciously emotional Hunk following behind.

“What’s with him?” Lance asks before Hunk sits next to him, looking at his best friend with an overly fond smile.

“You guys are just _so cute_.”

Keith loses any color his pasty ass might have before looking at Pidge, “No.”

“We ordered your food first,” She explains before smirking at him, “Then came to watch the show.”

“You little _bi_ -!”

“ _Keith!_ You don't talk to Pidge like that!”Shiro scolds as they come with the rest of the food.

The raven haired boy groans, burying his face in his hands again, “Why is everyone I know so _terrible?”_

Lance looks over to him with a sympathetic smile for a second, before peaking to see Shiro _staring at him_ with an unreadable expression.

“Everyone eat, we have a lot of road to cover.”

“We’ve got, what, 14 hours left?” Matt asks, “That’s not too much. Keith and I should be able to drive it today, right?” He grins over at the still lamenting Keith, who simply nods in his hands, “Yeah, see? We’ll be fine.”

“That means we’ll be driving until, like, 6 am.” Pidge points out, frowning, “I’m pretty sure you will need a third driver at some point. I would _happily_ -”

“You probably can’t reach the pedals. Vans are big, you know.” Keith grumbles into his hands, earning an elbow to the side.

“If you could, you _definitely_ couldn't see over the dashboard,” Lance adds with a smirk, earning a muffled chuckle from Keith before the boy gives up on sulking and actually starts eating his food.

“Don’t you clap at me, boi, just because your little _boyfriend_ did it.” Pidge teases and Lance looks her dead in the eyes for a moment before slapping his hands together in the loudest clap he can muster, “Oh, you’re a _dead-ass_ bitch now, Lance.”

“Fucking _fight me_ you over-sized _gremlin_.” He grins at her when he notices the almost relieved look that comes over her face.

Apparently both of them weren’t fond of him being so reserved.

“ _Oh shit_ ,” Matt breathes out, amusement written all over his face as he watches the two of them, “I think I love this Lance kid.” He pats Hunk’s back, “And, of course, my new tech bro.” His grin falls on Keith, “You two chose excellent friends.”

“Well, Pidge technically chose them,” Keith shrugs, “I just agreed with her decision.”

The rest of lunch follows a more normal routine for the four of them, Keith and Hunk calmly eating their food, chatting peacefully with Shiro and Matt while Lance and Pidge come up with increasingly colorful ways to insult each other between bites of their own meals.

“You, sir, are the _Dr. Pepper_ of the soda world!” Pidge exclaims and Lance lets out probably the longest and loudest gasp he ever has because _how fucking dare!_

“ _Oh you take that back you little-!”_

“Okay! _Enough!”_ Shiro groans, shooting a tired look past Pidge to Keith who is now casually eating a chocolate ice cream cone, “Is this how _all_ of you interact?”

Keith shrugs, “Everyone but our sunshine mascot, Hunk.”

“I worry about you,” Shiro frowns, “I really do.”

“Shoulda worried about me when I decided to start chasing ghosts,” Keith deadpans, “But, I mean, whatever gets you there I suppose.”

Shiro looks like he wants to say something, but decides to drop it and turns his attention to Lance, “So are you going to tell us anything about this place before we get there?”

“Nope.” The brunette grins, “Can’t do it until we start filming. It’s part of the magic.”

“He gets super into telling the story,” Keith sighs, “It takes, like, twenty minutes. Trust me, you only wanna hear it once.”

“Watch it, _mullet_.” Lance warns and Keith smirks.

“Bring it on, pretty boy.” He teases before a look of horror quickly comes over both of their faces.

Wait.

_Wait._

_WHAT!?_

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fucking fuck man I have writers block something fierce and all I wanna do it talk about Voltron and Klance but I have like two people to talk to and they both have lives, as one does, so like if you wanna gush over Voltron or Klance with me HMU, too, on instagram at Pidgedkt or the voltron or klance amino at PidgeyOS.  
> *Cough* Anyways, this was supposed to have like...like...stuff like....things in different towns they go through but instead it was just Lance and Keith being really fucking gay together bc life is stressful and I needed fluff. Also, I read the fucking Klible (yeah it's ACTUALLY real who knew? probably all of you) and like I don't give any credence to those 'why klance is actually endgame' things bc like nah man that shit never happens especially with two MALE leads, but that fucker changed my mind from it being a 0/100 chance to being like probably 30/100 chance which is a BIG rise for me, anyways, it's long as fuck but you should check it out.


	16. Keith is Done™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith has a gay crises about his love life...coming from every adult but him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stronzina=Little (female)asshole
> 
> (Also I just want to thank you guys for all the nice comments you are send like omg you're killing me ((but don't stop, this is how I want to go)))

Keith and Lance stare at each other in silent horror for a while. He honestly didn’t mean it the way it sounded. People use it as an insult _ all the time _ . Really, he was sure it was a good one, with all of Lance’s skin care routines he figured it was funny. 

Boy was he wrong.

He felt pretty proud right after he had said it, honestly. Until he saw the horror come to Lance’s face when it had fully sank in.

“So you think I’m pretty?” Lance finally asks and Keith shuts down for a minute.

Sure, Lance is attractive, but honestly he doesn’t really think of him as  _ pretty _ .

Handsome, yes. 

Cute? From time to time. 

Hot?

….He pleads the fifth.

Never pretty, though.

….

Well, maybe his eyes. Those are kind of the clearest blue he's ever seen and when they light up with excitement one  _ might  _ call them pretty.

His smile can be pretty, too. The way the corner of his mouth tilts up some when he knows what he’s talking about and the  _ pride  _ he exudes when someone praises him or he tells the stories for their series, even when he was being an idiot about the Amelia Earhart story his smile was pretty.

_ Beautiful _ , really.

Keith blinks as what he just thought tries to sink in.

No.

_ Nope. _

Moving on.  


“It’s alright,” Lance offers with a smirk. A very  _ not pretty  _ smirk. Downright  _ hideous _ , really. “I’m a pretty guy, after all. Friends can find friends pretty.”

Keith twitches, “I  _ don’t _ -” He begins before noticing how guarded Lance's expression really is right now, “...Plan on feeding your ego any more by calling you  _ pretty _ .”

“Too late!” Lance practically  _ beams _ at him, “You already  _ did _ .”

“Ughhh,” Keith groans, turning away and lowering his head to bury his face in Pidge’s shoulder, “ _ End my misery _ .”

“Nah, dude, this is gold.” Pidge laughs.

“ _ You are the worst.”  _ He hisses before turning his attention to Shiro on her other side for help. 

For some reason Shiro looks pretty stiff, his eyes a thousand miles away. Like he's seen one of those ghosts Lance is so obsessed with.

“Awww, don't worry, Keith,” Matt speaks up from across the table, “Lance  _ is  _ a pretty guy.”

“Awww, thank you for noticing!” Lance grins at Matt from beside Hunk, “You are a man of exquisite taste.”

“Ah, yes, as is Keith, I see.” Matt adds and Keith chucks a fry at him, his face barely peeking out of Pidge’s shoulder.

“This is such bullshit. I have the perfect older brother. How did I end up with an extra pair of shitty siblings I’m not even related to?” Keith grumbles, earning a mocking pat on the back from Pidge.

“Just lucky, I guess.”

He waits a few seconds for Matt’s rebuttal, and when he doesn’t hear one looks over from his now admittedly comfortable perch on Pidge’s shoulder to see the man looking at him... _ emotionally _ . “Wha…?”

“ _ Oh my god _ ,” Matt breathes, his eyes getting teary, “You called me your brother!”

“A shitty one.” Keith points out, “A very  _ shitty  _ one.”

Matt wipes his tears and looks at him starry eyed, “It’s the  _ first time  _ you’ve called me family!”

“Oof, Matt’s getting emotional.” Pidge grimaces, a look Keith is no doubt mirroring, “You know if you’re Keith’s brother you can’t be fucking Shiro, right? This ain’t no Game of Thrones. Ya gotta choose.”

Matt gasps and looks to Shiro, who seems to have come out of his daze enough to raise a brow at him curiously, “I’m sorry, Shiro, but we must end this.”

Shiro laughs a little, “Yeah? Gonna drop twelve years of friendship and ten years of dating just to be Keith’s brother? Trust me, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” He teases and Matt shrugs.

“Can't miss this chance, I've always wanted an emo baby brother.”

“Hmmm, well, I guess you've also always wanted to sleep in his old bed, since, you know, we're  _ siblings _ now.”

Matt gasps, “But you slept with  _ Keith  _ all the time! You can't play favorites like that!”

Shiro rolls his eyes, “If anyone is my favorite, its Pidge.”

“Hah!” Pidge exclaims, “I  _ knew _ I was the favorite!”

Keith just smiles to himself, looking back at Lance who seems just as relieved as him for the change in conversation. The two share a small smile before Lance bats his eyes and blows him a kiss with an exaggerated wink, making them both burst out laughing. 

“At least if you two aren’t together we have two less dorks making googly eyes at each other.” Pidge groans, effectively ending Keith’s muffled laughter against her shoulder.

“ _ Excuse _ you, we haven't been that bad in _ years _ .” Matt huffs, crossing his arms.

“That's true, they are their own special brand of disgusting.” Pidge admits.

“ _ Stronzina _ .” Keith hisses, sitting up to get a good glare at her before looking to Matt, “Shouldn’t we be  _ leaving _ now?”

“Whatever you want, baby bro.” The older Holt grins, pulling the keys out and holding them up, “You wanna drive? Or make googly eyes some more in the backseat?”

“He wants to drive.” Shiro says quickly, reaching over the table to grab the keys and toss them to Keith, “Now everyone we are going for as few bathroom breaks as possible, so try to go now.”

“Yes  _ dad _ .” Pidge groans as they all get out of the booth.

“You all go first,” Matt says, grabbing Keith’s shoulder, “We’ll clean up and go last. I doubt there’s enough stalls for all of us guys anyways.”

Keith raises a brow but just nods as the others go. He helps Matt move the table he and Lance brought over earlier, before they grab the trays and toss out the garbage. By the time they finish everyone is out, Shiro taking the keys back from Keith so the rest of them can go wait in the car. 

“Ah, wait right there, Keith.” Matt calls when Keith heads for the bathroom himself.

“For...?” Keith prompts and Matt laughs a little, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“Look, I’ve been wanting to talk to you mano-a-mano-”

“You know that's hand-to-hand, right?” Keith narrows his eyes, “Your Italian ass  _ knows  _ that's hand-to-hand.”

Matt shrugs with a sheepish grin, “Maybe. Anyways, I've been wanting to talk since you guys were down for Christmas but we literally  _ never _ get the chance.” 

Keith eyes him suspiciously, “So...you decided the lobby of a Dairy Queen was the way to go?” He looks out to the van, “With everyone waiting in Shiro’s- Is something wrong with Shiro!? Is there a reason he's been acting so damn weird this trip!?”

“Well, I mean,  _ yeah,  _ and I guess that's kinda what I wanna talk to you about, but, um, not the Shiro part…”

“Matt, seriously, everyone is waiting and I  _ actually  _ have to pee, so if we could just-”

“Okay, so, I'm not going to say anything too much, because it’s your life and you should go at your own pace, but I think we all know where…” He gestures to the van, “ _ This  _ is heading.”

“...Yeah, Arizona.” Keith deadpans.

“No, you smartass, I’m not talking about the van, I’m talking about the  _ pretty C _ uban boy  _ in _ the van.” Matt points out and Keith frowns.

“Nothing’s heading anywhere, I’m not interested in-”

“Not interested  _ my ass _ . You are so obviously attracted to him.”

“Sure, he’s attractive. You know who else is attractive? The barista at my favorite coffee shop, the mechanic who works on my car, that one new guy at the public library…but I’m not  _ interested  _ in any of them.”

“I  _ saw  _ you two in the back seat, you know. You were sound asleep yet still clawing at him and clinging to him like he was some sort of security blanket.” 

Keith frowns because, well, he really has no excuse for that. He’s  _ not  _ a cuddler, nor has he slept with Lance enough to reasonably seek it out. 

It’s just...Pidge and Hunk, and apparently the universe, keep shoving Lance at him. For sleep. It doesn’t help that Lance is soft and warm and not at all an abrasive cuddler.

Also, he smells good.

If Lance were to share a space with him smelling like sweat and draping himself over Keith obnoxiously, you can bet he’d be running for the hills, but he doesn’t, so Keith enjoys his presence. 

When asleep.

“Look, my point is that you should go at your own pace,” Matt looks him in the eyes, “But don’t  _ ignore  _ this. I don’t see Shiro encouraging it, because he’s in hardcore mom mode, but luckily for you, I’m here to tell you. So, if you have any issues or concerns or just in the middle of the night need someone to talk to about this who  _ knows  _ what it’s like to suffer through a crush on their friend, give me a call or shoot me a text.”

Keith eyes him wearily, “How do I know you won't report all of it to Shiro?” He asks before going bright red, “Not that there's anything to report or that I, you know,  _ have that problem.  _ Because I don't. He's attractive and fun to hang out with but, like, so is Hunk. The only difference is one has a thing for a girl and the other…”

Matt pats him on the back, “Like I said, take your time. Have fun and when you need some advice or anything, hit me up. And don't worry, I won't tell Shiro,” He shoots Keith a lopsided grin, “Because you're  _ my _ favorite.”

Keith laughs a little, “Yeah, okay. If I have any gay panic with Lance I'll let you know.”

“That's all I ask.” 

The group is back on the road soon enough and thanks to Shiro’s insistence, Keith is driving. Leaving Matt and Lance in the back together.

With Bluetooth connected to the van.

Which...is a very bad idea.

Keith groans as the  _ fifth _ Cher song in a row plays, and he  _ hates  _ himself for singing along under his breath with Shiro as the rest of the car belts the whole thing like it's a screaming contest.

At least they can't hear him.

He  _ is not  _ a fan of Cher, for the record. His mom is...er...was, though. Cher sort of leaves him with a warm but empty feeling these days and he's honestly not sure how much more he can take.

“Guys, I'm  _ begging _ you,” Keith begins from his spot in the driver's seat, “ _ Please _ stop playing Cher.”

He can see from the rearview mirror that Lance has other plans, but luckily Matt picks up what he's putting down and begins whispering with Lance about what to play next.

For a brief moment, Keith is happy.

Until he hears an  _ oh so familiar _ G note.

“Dear  _ god _ ,” Keith whines, because he doesn't  _ want  _ to be cliche emo trash, but here he is, ready to fucking belt this song out whether anyone else sings with him or not.

Luckily everyone but Shiro joins in and his voice is drowned again. After the song, Matt speaks up to the group.

“So how far down the rabbit hole do we wanna go today?”

“All the way fucking down.” Pidge says, “I wanna reach  _ China _ with our emo rabbit hole.”

“You got it!” Matt grins, playing a few more MCR songs before playing one you  _ never _ play.

If you don't wanna cry. 

The Ghost of You starts and Pidge even looks at her brother in horror.

“You went to far!” Pidge gasps.

“Abort! Abort the emo rabbit hole!” Lance exclaims and Matt just smirks.

“Fucking take it,  _ kids _ .”

“I love this song,” Hunk admits, “But it hurts  _ so bad _ .”

“ _ So good _ ,” Matt corrects before shooting a concerned look up to Shiro, “You good with this, babe? I'll change it if not.”

He just huffs out a small laugh, “A little late into the song to change it now.” His voice is light and he makes sure to turn in his seat and smile at Matt, “It's fine.”

They play a few more MCR songs, like Helena and I'm not Okay (which even Shiro sings), before Lance takes the helm.

“Alright, if we are going the emo route we have to do it right,  guys. It's not a true emo fest without this song.” He declares and waits for everything to be silent for a moment before a familiar song plays, making Pidge start cackling like a maniac and Keith  _ die  _ a little inside.

Evanescence blaring through his speakers with Bring Me to Life is  _ not _ something he thought would ever happen again.

Yet here he is.

“Fucking  _ jesus,  _ Lance.”

“Oh shut up, like you weren't obsessed with this when it came out.” Lance smirks and Keith... _ wants _ to deny it.

He does.

“This boy was a straight up  _ slut _ for Evanescence.” Pidge says, earning possibly the most pained noise from Shiro that Keith has ever heard.

“ _ Pidge _ !” Shiro cries and she shrugs as Lance literally  _ dies _ in the back seat with Matt from laughter.

“Whoops, I meant...he was  _ obsessed. _ ”

“Thank you!” He buries his face in his hands, “I'm too sober for this.”

“We  _ could _ fix that.” Pidge offers and Matt shakes his head.

“Dude costs a  _ fortune _ to get drunk. Seriously, he and Keith are on the complete opposite sides if the spectrum. Shiro never gets drunk and Keith is a giggling mess after  _ two wine coolers _ .”

Keith groans, “Are you ever gonna let me live that down?”

“Nope.”

“Was that, like, his first time drinking?” Hunk asks and Matt smiles.

“Yup, and every time after that.”

Lance and Pidge start laughing as Hunk give him a sympathetic look.

He's honestly not sure which is worse.

They go on after that in relative silence for about six hours, before stopping to grab some food. It's kinda late now and Keith is getting pretty tired so when they all finish eating he makes a beeline for the backseat where Lance is currently getting situated.

“Are you done driving?” Shiro asks and Keith just nods, plopping down next to Lance.

“Yeah, I think I'm gonna nap a bit. Matt, you can take over.” Keith yawns and Matt give him a thumbs up.

“You got it.”

“Why don't we have someone else drive?” Shiro offers, his eyes zeroing in on Lance, “You get places pretty fast, why don't you drive for a bit?”

“Really?” He asks, eyes shining as Keith hands him the keys.

“Aw man, _so close_.” Hunk sighs and Pidge nods.

“This is so sad, Matt, play Despacito.” She says grimly and Matt nods, sliding in next to Keith before playing the song.

“You guys are  _ the worst _ .” He grumbles, crossing his arms and sinking into his seat.

“Ah, ah, ah, Matt.” Lance calls from the driver's seat, hooking his phone into the iPod jack and turning off bluetooth, “Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole!” He grins before the slow realization that Matt is no longer the one next to him sets in and he turns to an unamused Shiro, “I mean...whatever you wanna listen to, buddy.” 

Matt snickers in the back as Shiro takes the phone and plays his favorite band: Muse. “Lance, you are a huge dork and I fucking  _ love _ you.” He says, “I fucking  _ love  _ Supernatural. Keith used to have the biggest crush on Jenson Ackles.”

Pidge scoffs, “Used to? He still has a Supernatural poster in your room.”

“I-it has  _ all of them,  _ jesus!” Keith stutters.

“Oh please you still go all wide eyed whenever you see him on anything. I've literally never seen you so awestruck by anyone.” Pidge laughs and Keith feels his face heat up.

“ _ Ugh, shut up! _ Jenson is hot, okay? I'm not the only person who thinks so!” Keith looks to the driver's seat to see Lance hyper focused on the road, “You agree, don't you Lance?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Lance grumbles, “He's great. He's  _ great. _ ”

Keith looks at him curiously for a moment before looking to Pidge, “See?”

“Oof, that was pretty cold, man.”

“What are you talking about?” Keith sighs, giving up when she just silently shakes her head.  


The rest of the ride is quiet, kind of awkwardly so, and he soon falls asleep against the window. He’s not sure when they finally reach Arizona, but as soon as they do Lance, Pidge, and Hunk cheer, waking him up. Matt probably would have, too, if he wasn't currently drooling on Keith's shoulder. 

Which, you know,  _ fucking gross _ .

How Lance put up with him drooling all over his chest is  _ beyond  _ him. The guys is just too nice. Or maybe just a pushover.

Still, they finally reached Arizona, the cheers waking Matt up (thank god) so he can join in. Earning him a dirty look from a tired Keith.

“I’ve got a hotel all picked out,” Shiro says gently once everyone stops, “It’s two beds and a pull out couch this time.”

Matt yawns next to Keith, stretching a little, “Pidge and I will-”

“Pidge is mine.” Keith grumbles, “You sleep with your boyfriend.”

He notices the hurt look in Shiro’s eyes as they drive into the hotel parking lot.

“Why don’t you want to sleep with me?” Shiro asks and Keith scowls at him.

“You are so used to sleeping with Matt now, you are too clingy, it’s annoying.” He crosses his arms, “Since Lance needs someone to sleep with, I can’t sleep with Hunk, so it’s obviously Pidge.” Keith sighs and looks out the window as Lance parks, “Besides, she’s honestly the best person in this van to sleep with, since she’s not as touc-” 

Matt subtly cuts him off, “Alright, alright, we get it. Pidge is your favorite.”

Keith frowns some, “For bed, definitely.”

“And in general?” Lance prompts as they all get out and grab their bags.

“Shiro, obviously.” Keith answers, smirking at him, “You didn’t think it was  _ you _ , did you?”

Lance laughs, “Definitely not. Figured Shiro and Hunk were tied.”

Keith scoffs, “Please, no offense to Hunk but if  _ anyone  _ was tied with Shiro it would be Pidge. She’s not, though, her and Matt are tied for second.”

“And me and Hunk?”

“Tied for third.”

Lance rolls his eyes, “What’s with all the ties for everything but number one?”

Keith shrugs as they head for the door, “No one else is as important as Shiro, so you can all pretty much be lumped together.”

“Oof,” Lance places a hand on his chest, “You  _ wound  _ me, Keith.”

“You’ll live.”

“If I don’t, though, remember; we have a standing date for my ghost to smack you in the face.”

Keith laughs, “Right, of course, I’ll be waiting.”

“ _ Ahem _ ,” Shiro not-so-subtly clears his throat, making both of them look back to see that they are  _ far  _ ahead of the others, “Keith, could we... _ talk _ for a moment?”

Keith narrows his eyes at his brother, wondering if he’s going to get the same talk as he had with Matt, because if so it’s gonna be a hard pass. “Do we...have to?”

Shiro sighs, “I’m afraid so.”

“Are you  _ sure _ ? Because bed sounds really good right now.”

“You realize since we’re the smallest we will be sleeping on the pull out, right?” Pidge asks and Keith cringes. 

He honestly didn’t.

_ Fuck _ .

“Alright, fine, let’s talk or whatever.” Keith sighs, following his brother back to the van, Shiro taking the driver’s seat this time.

“So…” Shiro takes a deep breath, “Alright, um...you see, Keith...um...when…when two people-er-well t-two  _ guys _ like each other…”

Keith watches his brother, face flushed and clearly  _ terrified _ , for a moment before raising a brow, “Are you...trying to give me the  _ sex talk _ right now, Shiro?”

“Look, I see how you and Lance interact, and I mean, you should have this talk anyways, so-”

“You know... _ dad  _ gave me the sex talk when I was, like, eleven. Told him I was gay, he went through everything, and even covered straight sex in case I turned out to like more than just guys...so…” Keith looks to his brother, “I seriously don’t need this.” 

“Well, I just-”

“ _ Any  _ of this, Shiro.” He says, narrowing his eyes at the man, “I don’t need a sex talk, I’m not a kid anymore. Also, might I just add since you and Matt seem to be misguided here, I’m  _ not  _ going to be dating Lan-" Keith stops for a moment, when it suddenly dawns on him, "Wait...is this...is this why you are being so weird with Lance? Because you think-? Oh my god, Shiro! The kid  _ adores  _ you and you are being difficult with him for  _ nothing _ !”

“You fought when we first met and then you called him pretty earlier. That's not nothing.” Shiro points out and Keith raises his arms in exasperation.

“ _ So what!? _ So he’s pretty! I don’t  _ always  _ think he’s pretty! In fact, of all the ways he’s attractive, it’s probably the one that pops into my head the least, but none of that matters! We’re friends! I think Pidge can be pretty, too! Are you gonna act weird around her, now? Maybe even Hunk!? His eyelashes are, like,  _ enviably  _ long and his smile is probably one of the brightest things in the universe. Are you gonna start keeping  _ us  _ apart?

“I may not look it, and most of the time I don’t really  _ act  _ it, but I’m an  _ adult, Shiro!  _ I can make my own decisions and do what I want with my friends. If I want to argue with one and get up in each others faces over stupid little disagreements, I will! If I want to hang out with him on a 30-something hour car ride, I will! If I want to  _ share a bed  _ with my  _ fucking  _ _friend_ , I will! I have three friends of my own, Shiro, stop trying to separate me from one! Just because you’re afraid, what? I’m gonna date?

“He’s not like Alex, you know. If I  _ want  _ to date him, I will. He’s a good guy and pretty fucking attractive, I could do  _ so much  _ worse. Honestly he’s probably out of my league, looks wise. I like hanging out with him, too, so we’d have stuff to talk about. After all we  _ genuinely  _ enjoy each other’s company. Lance isn’t going to hide me because he’s ashamed or get too clingy too fast, he’s a respectful guy who would absolutely treat me right and- _ oh my fucking god _ why am I thinking about this?” He give Shiro a harsh glare, “ _ Why  _ are you making me think about this!?”

Shiro just silently watches as Keith sorta loses his shit, waiting for him to go silent, which he  _ definitely  _ is now. “Look, I...I know he’s a good kid. I like him, I do.”

“I know you like him!” Keith blurts out, “Which is why this is so confusing! Why are you so-!?” 

Shiro raises a hand and Keith goes silent, “I’m worried, Keith. You...when you were younger and you dated you weren’t quite comfortable with it yet. You didn’t know how two guys were supposed to work and you still felt awkward about being gay. There was always a part of you that had one foot out the door. Despite that, though...I know you really like Francis, that second boy you dated. Pidge told Matt and I how you broke up and when you told me that you didn’t want to be blamed for him being into guys it  _ broke my heart,  _ but I know it broke yours far more.”

Keith looks away, uncomfortable, “It just made sense. We had a fun summer, that’s all that matters.”

“Except it isn’t. I heard you when you cried in your room after. I saw the pain on your face  _ months  _ after. Hell, last year when Colleen told us he had gotten married to her co-worker’s daughter I saw that second of hurt in your eyes.” Shiro sighs and rests his forehead on his steering wheel, “I know you weren’t fully invested in him, but I know that now...the next time you date someone you will be all in. You’re comfortable with yourself now, and don’t feel bad about being with a guy or ‘ _ making him gay',  _ so if you were to date Lance you would get  _ attached  _ and if it didn’t work out you would-”

“So, what, you don’t want me to date? You want me to stay single and closed off forever so I don’t get my heart broken or something? Shiro, that’s easily the most childish thing I’ve ever heard you say!” 

“Alright, first of all, I didn’t say that. You did.” He points out, giving Keith a stern look, “I am absolutely not saying don’t date. I want you to date and experience life, I do. I just...when I look at you two interacting I see just how close you are and how close you  _ could  _ be if you dated and it’s conflicting. On one hand I see how happy he could make you, but on the other hand all I can think of is how  _ badly  _ he could hurt you, and it makes me...act out with him, I suppose.”

Keith groans and buries his face in his hands. He  _ wants  _ to be mad at Shiro, and a part of him still is, but  _ god damnit _ the bastard is such a mother hen. “Look, I...guess I get it. I mean most siblings just tease the other in that sort of situation, but your such a fucking  _ mother hen  _ you can’t help yourself. If it makes you feel any better, Lance and I will not, I repeat,  _ not _ , be dating.”

Shiro smirks at him, raising a brow, “Are you sure about that? You set up some pretty convincing points on dating him. Almost like you’ve  _ thought about it _ .”

Keith lifts his head from his hands and give Shiro a dirty look, “Mother hen or annoying older brother, you get one.”

Shiro laughs a little before reaching out and ruffling Keith’s hair, “I’ll be nicer to him, and stay out of your way.”

“Seriously, Shiro, throw the kid a fucking bone. I think you’re, like, his hero or something.” Keith sighs as Shiro laughs harder.

“What? How?”

“Fuck if I know. He doesn’t know you well enough to know you're a complete mess?” He offers and Shiro playfully nudges his shoulder.

“Watch it.”

“Or what? You can’t ground me anymore.”

Shiro scoffs, “The hell I can’t.”

Keith just rolls his eyes, “Whatever old man, let’s go inside.”

The two head into the hotel and up the elevator to their room, where Pidge let's them inside. They see Matt has already claimed a bed for him and Shiro, having placed all his bags on the one away from the other bed and pull out couch, but the man himself is currently in the midst of a pillow fight with Lance over who is going to get the ice from the hall.

“That’s the man you love, Shiro.” Keith points out, “That idiot who didn’t even think to ask us to grab ice, is the love of your life.”

Shiro just smiles and pats Keith on the shoulder, “Sure is, good thing  _ you  _ don’t like an idiot currently pillow fighting, huh?” He leans over and whispers in his brother’s ear, “Perhaps one you mistakenly think is  _ out of your league _ ?”

Keith goes bright red and moves to punch his brother, but Shiro is already at the door.

“I’ll get the ice, guys!” He calls, earning a cheer from Matt and Lance, followed by groans from Pidge and Hunk.

"How are we gonna figure out who gets the last reese's now?" Pidge whines, her concerns going ignored by everyone but an equally suffering Hunk.

Matt quickly goes to collapse in his bed, Lance doing the same in the one he and Hunk are sharing, both giggling like school girls as Pidge walks over to Keith.

“So, what did Daddy Shiro want?”

“To  _ never be called that again _ .” Keith groans, trying to ignore Pidge’s snickering next to him.

“But seriously, is everything ok?” She asks, frowning.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Keith sighs, “He was just voicing some concerns that honestly aren’t even a problem,” He says, his eyes following Lance’s movements, “For now, at least.”

Pidge gives him a knowing smile and pats him on the back, “Well, if it does become a problem, that’s for future Keith to deal with.”

Keith laughs a little, “Yeah, fuck that guy. I bet he’s not stuck in a hotel with five idiots. He’ll have time to deal with it.”

“You best mean  _ four  _ idiots, emo boy.” Pidge warns and Keith smiles innocently at her. 

“I can count, Pidge. I stand by my  _ fi- _ GAH!” He screams, getting tackled by the tiny  _ idiot. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will fucking DIE FOR CHER KEITH LETS THROW HANDS
> 
> ....the music scene in the car ride is heavily influenced by a day last week at my work (and some suggestions in a chat on Amino I'm in). I made my friend play Welcome to the Black Parade and was genuinely shook by The Ghost of You and SHOCKED when she played Evanescence. But damn, she was right. Those were part of our emo high school years.
> 
> Also Shiro is Concerned™ hooo boy is he concerned.


	17. Hunk does some damage control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a bunch of random shit tied together by Hunk existing 
> 
> You know
> 
> Like season 7
> 
> lolololol jk jk

Hunk isn't sure what Keith and Shiro talked about the other night in the van, but whatever it was it definitely worked. They are both calmer, Shiro is even being nice to Lance, which of course has the boy _elated._ Shiro seems more relaxed, too, but still weary of something that Hunk is pretty sure he could guess, and Keith is picking up on it, giving him an almost daring look from time to time.

Still, though, overall it's much more chill.

“Hey, Keith~!” Pidge sings out, catching everyone’s attention as she walks out of the bathroom wearing a shirt and cheshire-like grin, “Remember this?”

Hunk watches a blush rise to Keith’s face as everyone stares down the light green shirt Pidge is wearing. It has a small purple version of Keith’s face with alien antennae and a UFO in the background with the words ‘An alien is among me’ beneath the picture.

He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t to cutest shirt he’s ever seen, or that he didn’t want ten of them for himself.

“I need, like, ten of those.” Lance gushes, running up and checking the shirt out intensely, “This is _hilarious_!” He exclaims before looking at Pidge with excitement, “Where did you get it?”

“Matt is in love with aliens, so a few years ago we went to some alien con thing and one of the booths was an artist. I made him draw an alien Keith print for the shirt I was wearing. When we left I got it put on by a professional.” She explains proudly as Keith looks like he’s fading fast in the background.

“Wait, Matt,” Hunk turns to the older man, “You believe in aliens?”

Matt grins, “You bet I do, kid! Aliens, ghosts, cryptids! I remember when we were younger Keith once stole some of my mothman memorabilia while calling me a loser for believing in ghosts in the same breath. Such a hypocrite.”

“Matt, you are the _best_.” Lance grins before looking to Keith, who is desperately trying to disappear in a corner, eyeing a window like he’s legitimately contemplating an escape from it, “What’s with you and mothman, dude?

“Can we talk about something else, _please_?” Keith asks and Hunk nods.

“Let’s leave the poor kid alone.” He says, looking to the snickering Pidge, “I think he’s been through enough.”

“Fine, Fine,” Lance sighs, pulling a ton of brochures out of nowhere, “Let’s pick out a place to hang, we are gonna need stuff to do for the day since _obviously_ we aren't going to our spot until tonight _._ ”

Shiro smiles at him amused, “ _Obviously_.”

Lance grins back and holds up a brochure, “So what will we be doing to kill the time?”

Hunk grabs a few and looks at the prices for the activities, “I think it might be better if we just hang out around town for the day. I saw a nice looking restaurant we can get dinner at.”

“I saw a decent looking ice cream place last night.” Keith offers and Hunk grins at him. It never ceases to amaze him just _how much_ Keith loves junk food. Honestly, looking at his body one would think he leaned more towards fresh veggies and fruits, but nope, their dear Keith here would gladly push all those aside for a burger and cake any day.

“So we know where we are gonna eat...but, like, what are we gonna _do_ today?” Pidge groans.

“Hassayampa River Preserve looks good,” Shiro muses, “It's free and will get you dorks outside for something other than ghosts.” He looks to Keith and gasps, “Keith! You can finally see the sun, Keith!”

“Fuck off, Shiro,” The younger brother huffs, but the smile on his face betrays any annoyance he might be trying to convey.

“Alright! River it is!” Lance cheers before patting Keith on the head, “And don't worry, we'll get your ice cream, too, kiddo.”

“I'm _older_ than you.” Keith growls out and Lance raises a brow, looking him over.

“Then why are you so much _smaller_ than me?” He teases, earning a swift smack to the stomach, hunching him over as Keith smirks next to him.

“Same size now, you little _shit_.”

“No rough housing, Keith.” Shiro scolds, “Now everyone get ready and in the van.”

Hunk smiles as he watches the others scramble to grab different things, Shiro delegating.

 _“No, Keith, you don't need a knife at the preserve_ ,” He groans, missing his younger brother sneak it into a holster on his belt anyways, “Pidge stop chucking socks at Keith!” Shiro yells before looking over to Lance with a huge bottle of sunscreen, “Is...is that necessary…?”

“Absolutely!” Lance huffs, “Not only for my benefit, but for the sake of the future Mr. or Mrs. Lance McClain. They need a husband with soft, undamaged skin.”

Pidge smirk, “Too bad Keith won't return the favor,” She teases, earning her a pillow to the face from Keith.

“ _Enough!_ ” Shiro groans, making everyone go still except a now snickering Matt, “Everyone _get to the van_! Jesus, Keith weren't you telling me last night you were an adult?”

“I _am_ an adult,” Keith says, casually smothering Pidge with a pillow, “Don't be so dramatic.”

Shiro walks over and chucks the pillow to the side, “If you don't leave Pidge alone, _so help me god_ I will carry your ‘adult’ ass to the van myself.”

Hunk sees the joy at said challenge that comes to Keith's eyes as he crosses his arms.

“Bring it, _old man_.”

Without another word, Shiro scoops Keith up, throwing him over his shoulder before looking back at the others, “Let's go.”

Everyone, as expected, _goes_.

Luckily for Keith, Shiro is nice enough to set him down in the elevator, where he subtly stands behind Lance and Hunk, eyeing his brother wearily.

“I can't believe you did that.”

Shiro just shoots him a cocky smirk and Hunk can't help but smile at the two brothers, clearly acting more comfortable and natural.

It luckily takes no time to get to the preserve and Shiro has given them a literal _list_ of things not to do by the time Matt parks.

Hunk isn't entirely sure the others were listening.

As soon as they all clamour out of the van Keith takes the opportunity to stretch, his arms raising high to reveal his midriff. A sight that Lance definitely takes notice of.

While Shiro definitely takes notice of him taking notice.

“So, should we do a tourism video?” Hunk asks to distract at least _one_ of them, and Pidge scoffs.

“Only if they fucking pay us for the endorsement.”

Keith laughs a little under his breath, “So that’s a no.”

Hunk shrugs and starts recording anyways, “So this will be just for us, then!” He says, turning to Keith with it, “Are you excited to be in nature for the first time?”

“Hmmm, it's hard to say,” Keith muses before grabbing the camcorder from him and pointing it at Hunk with a devilish grin, “Are you excited to be on camera for once?”

Hunk blushes and covers his face, “Keith! I told you I don't want to be the focus of a shot!”

The raven haired man frowns at him, “I don't get why, but, _fine_ . Here you go.” He says, handing it back before him and Pidge go slack jawed at the sight of some lizard scurrying by, "Oh my _god_ _._ "

"Let's go catch it." Pidge decides, grabbing his hand and dragging him off, leaving Hunk to himself again.

Honestly, Hunk knows people like seeing him on film, and he knows he's attractive, but the idea of being the focus of anything makes him nervous. He’d much rather help from the sidelines where he can be useful without feeling smothered or pressured by attention. It might seem weird to feel that way about a home video, but anxiety doesn’t exactly care about making sense.

“What the shit, man! Why did you go right to Keith, Hunk? I'm _hurt!_ ” Lance whines and Hunk shoots him a smirk.

“I figured you would appreciate me _not_ having you gawking like a horny school boy at Keith on film.” He teases, watching his best friend go ten shades of red.

“I-I wasn’t-! That’s _not_ -! You should have just-!” Lance groans, giving up and looking to his best friend dejected, but curious, “Speaking of crushes, _which I do not have,_ why the hell haven't you gone on that date with Shay yet?” He asks and Hunk frowns.

“I want to,” He admits, fiddling with the camcorder, “I just...with all this stuff I can't afford it right now...and this on top of work and school has me pretty busy...ya know?”

Lance frowns, “Dude if you can't afford these-”

“I can! I enjoy these trips,I mean come on, it was our dream Lance! I'm just saying, $5 doesn't really make for a good date, and I want to give her the _best_.” Hunk frowns, “I will have enough saved soon to-”

“That's such bullshit!” Lance exclaims, glaring at Hunk, “The cost of the date doesn't matter, you _idiot_ . What matters is you are together and enjoying yourselves! The key to a good romantic relationship is a strong foundation of _friendship_ .You have to be able to enjoy the other’s company even when you aren’t out doing extravagant things. Go for a walk in the park or even just come to our place and watch a movie alone together! I’ll go bug Keith and Pidge while you do it! I mean, come on, do you know how romantic that is!? You can even cook her a meal and really wow her! It costs nothing extra aside from a bit of our grocery money! Stop putting it off, dude, you asked her out in _November_.”

“But I-”

“No more excuses!” He scolds, “She said yes, she's obviously interested, don't dick around until she drops your ass. Get your shit together and take that beautiful woman on a date!”

Hunk smiles over at Lance, if he's being honest with himself he _may_ have been putting it off out of fear. Shay is a nice girl, after all and he doesn't want to mess up or end their friendship, even if it's just at school, that time together is still something he never wants to lose.

“What are you two doing back there?” Pidge hollers from her spot next to Keith as he eyes a patch of cacti where the lizard is now resting, “Get your asses in gear, boys, jesus!”

Lance shoots him a grin and shrugs before jogging over to them, quickly followed by Hunk, “Wow, look at that,” He begins, leaning on Keith's shoulder to look down at the cacti, “They're almost a prickly as you.”

Keith side eyes him, annoyed, “Keep talking shit, Lance, and you can get a face full of these pricks.”

“Oof, Keith, so _hurtful_.” Lance teases before walking away, quickly taking the lead of their group.

“Speaking of _hurtful,”_ Pidge begins, a scowl in place, “Why the hell are we doing something that requires _walking all over_ today when we are literally spending all night walking through a god damn abandoned town?!” She asks and, yeah, why _are_ they doing this?

Their feet are probably gonna be in a lot of pain by tonight.

“It's a bonding exercise!” Matt teases and Pidge groans.

“I've been dealing with you, Shiro, and the emo pretty much all my life, we don't _need_ bonding.”

“Gotta work them glutes, Pidge.” He grins, earning a dark look from his little sister. Things are looking kinda dark for a second, so Hunk goes to say something, only for Lance to interrupt.

“Holy shit, guys! Check out this cactus!” Lance yells, getting everyone’s attention as he stands under one that is literally five times his size, “This is some big dick energy right here, _damn_ !”

Hunk immediately bursts out laughing because, damn, he fucking _loves_ this guy. “Lance,” He wheezes, earning a large grin from his best friend, “ _Oh my god_.”

“I argued with Shiro for _this guy_ , what has my life become.” Keith groans nearby, his fondness still unmistakeable, and Hunk’s pretty sure nobody else caught it, but he did and it’s enough to make his heart melt a little.

He was right, Keith stood up for Lance. Stood up to his brother, his _hero_ , for Lance. Honestly if Hunk could get away with inconspicuously hugging him right now he absolutely would.

Later, though.

 _Later_.

They walk a while more, Keith and Lance now oh-so-subtly power walking to beat the other for the lead. The two are neck and neck, but Hunk can see that Lance is struggling a little to keep up.

“Practicing for when you run away like a little kid tonight?” Keith taunts, earning him a dirty look.

“You fucking wish, Kogane,” Lance’s scowl morphs into a challenging smirk, “I’m not leaving your side tonight.”

The blush that rises to Keith’s face is noticeable by literally _everyone_ but Lance, and Hunk even notices the poor boy’s footing stutter for a second, before he grumbles, “I fucking wish you would.”

Lance scoffs beside him, “Bullshit.”

Hunk hears a sound from Shiro behind him, and notices the man sneak away from the group. He’s seen this song and dance enough himself as well, so Hunk decides to join him since Matt is clearly too busy egging the two on. “Hey, um, mind if I join you?”

Shiro looks over at him and smiles, “Sorry, I’ll catch up with you guys in a second.”

Hunk shakes his head and raises his hands up, “Nah, I’m not here to drag you back, I just wanted to check up on you. I’m sure it’s weird to see them like that.”

Shiro lets out a weak laugh, “A little, but honestly it’s not so much them flirting as just... _Keith_ .” He goes silent for a minute, looking over the river in front of them before turning back to Hunk, as if deciding if he really wants to discuss this with someone who is basically a stranger, “You don’t know, probably, since you have only known him since...November, was it? Keith has grown so much since meeting you and Lance four months ago.” A tired, but strangely proud smile comes to his face as he looks off into the distance, “I’m honestly still kind of reeling from my conversation with him last night. He’s maturing into an adult with his own life and his own opinions, I’m no longer his moral compass. He isn’t just blindly following what I would want him to do, and even _yelled at me_ for not treating Lance up to his standards.”

Hunk can’t help the large smile that comes to his face at that. Because yes, Keith, _he’s gonna get such a big hug later_.

“He has his own life now, I guess,” Shiro sighs, “His own desires, now completely separate from mine and honestly it’s...it’s so new it’s a bit jarring. He’s out making friends and hunting ghosts, a thing he and Matt have always butted heads about, and he’s even gushing about his new life. You know, over christmas, with Lance and the texting, that’s honestly the most I have ever seen him on his phone and he literally never uses it when we are having family time. He also gave me a two hour break down on you and a girl named Shay and how you are perfect for each other.” He adds with a grin, making Hunk blush some, “I’ve never seen him talk so much about someone else. Keith loves you guys already. His focal point is changing from me to his new life in your town.”

“Isn’t that good, though? That’s, like, the _goal?_ ” Hunk asks, because he’s 100% sure it is for parents, or pseudo-parental-brothers.

“It is,” Shiro agrees and his expression becomes distant again, as if he’s debating whether he should continue still.

It’s a look Hunk is pretty used to, just like he’s used to the inevitable giving in. Everyone shares with Hunk, he’s like an unofficial therapist.

He’s honestly thinking of getting business cards made and working out an hourly rate.

“You know our parents died, right?” Shiro asks and Hunk frowns, nodding.

“I haven’t been told how or why or even when, but I know they died when Keith was young. He mentioned it once but honestly a lot of it was just context clues.”

Also he brought it up with Lance once, who confirmed it.

Apparently they did a lot of opening up during their ride to the Sallie house.

Hunk is considering playing 21 questions with Keith himself.

“Well, after our parents died, Keith and I sort of latched onto each other as a safety net.” Shiro admits and Hunk nods because, yeah, it makes sense, “I’ve been using him as a way to stay grounded since then. Before Pidge and him left, Keith was my stability in everything that has happened in my life, and he felt the same. Now, though, he’s reaching out to others. Pidge is his go-to these days, and I know he relies on you and Lance in different ways as well, I can see it just from watching you all interact. It makes me happy, it does, but I’m just...lonely I guess.”

“You’re kind of a huge mess, huh?” Hunk asks and Shiro sighs, reluctantly nodding.

“Honestly it’s why I haven’t purposed to Matt yet.” He admits, “I’m always afraid something will happen to Keith. He’s the only family I have left, who is to say he won’t break down again? Or what if during one of these adventures you kids go on he gets injured in a way that requires constant care? He will be my top priority and poor Matt would be stuck there because of a wedding ring.”

Hunk waits a few moments to see if Shiro has anything more to say, before he finally lays out some piping hot tea for this _idiot_ of a man, “Okay, first of all, I might not know Keith as well as you do but I know he’s not some mentally fragile child who lost his family anymore. He’s a mature adult who is building a new one. If anything _did_ happen to him, you would have to contend with Pidge, Lance and me for taking care of him because there’s no way we’d _not_ be there for him.

“ _Also_ , dude I might not have seen you guys acting super lovey on this trip, but just from what I can see it’s obvious Matt adores you _and_ Keith. He’s not gonna feel trapped if anything did in fact happen. If you love that man, fucking _marry him already_.”

Shiro laughs a little and it sounds exhausted and a little sad, “I can’t believe I’m getting therapy from Keith’s new friend.”

Hunk narrows his eyes at the man, “Have you even _been_ to therapy? With the war and your parents, have you gone to one?”

The older man is suspiciously silent and Hunk scowls.

“You need to go.” Hunk demands before looking back at the trail, “And we need to go, no doubt they are way ahead of us now.”

Shiro sighs, putting his hands in his pockets and heading back to the trail, “I thought I was the mother hen.”

Hunk grins at him, “You are, but even you need one from time to time. If you ever want to talk, you can call me any time.”

Shiro gives him a small smile and by the time they meet up with the others he looks a little lighter, his smile a little wider, “How’s the team doing so far?”

“My feet hurt.” Pidge groans.

“I’m _starving._ ” Matt adds, sparing a thoughtful look between Hunk and Shiro before smiling at the former.

“Why ‘team’?” Keith asks before Lance touches a tree in front of them both and cheers.

“I won! Hah! Suck on _that_ , Keith!” He exclaims before grinning at Shiro, “My feet hurt like a bitch, though, so maybe we should head back and take it easy until tonight.”

The older man spares him a soft smile, “Sounds good, Lance.”

Everyone begins to head back, Pidge and Hunk straggling behind the chaos of the other four.

“Think Shiro’s gonna be okay?” Pidge asks, surprising him, “What? I can’t notice when my brother’s boyfriend has troubles?”

Hunk laughs a little, “Sorry, just a little surprised. I didn’t take you for the emotionally astute type.” He teases, earning an unamused look from the girl, “He’ll be alright, he’s just got some issues.”

Pidge sighs, “He’s had those issues since returning from war, luckily Keith is pretty dense to it,” She sounds a little bitter, and Hunk can’t blame her, “So how did you like our little trip to the preserve?”

Hunk groans, throwing his head back to look up at the giant trees around them, “Honestly? You are all _exhausting_.” He answers, lips curving into a smile when he hears Pidge laugh beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hi, what's up? This chapter is random as fuck and I apologize. 
> 
> Also I draw the most random ass scenes from my shit, like, seriously. I need to draw the gayer shit rather than Keith and Pidge staring after some lizard oml.


	18. Shiro might start re-evaluating his life choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They arrive at the ghost town and Shiro is honestly not sure what he was expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna level with you guys. With all of my stories, no matter which of the three klance ones you read, there will be long gaps sometimes in updates and I apologize, I'm not dropping the stories, I just go through depressive episodes that last...a while. I'm gonna be getting help for it, and hopefully it'll stop, but most likely it won't. Anyways, I want to thank everyone who sticks around in spite of the long ass breaks I sometimes take. I will not be dropping any of them, I will always come back, it will just sometimes take a while.  
> So, again, thank you so much to everyone who sticks around.

Shiro gets out of the car and stares down at the Ghost Town, an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach. Not because of the ghost town, or the weird objects he sees his baby brother and Pidge pull out of a bag, snickering about ghosts and riling Lance up. No, his unease comes from all of the actual _shit_ he’s dealt with on this trip. The ominous feeling he gets when he looks at Keith and Lance, the _lectures_ he got from his baby brother and said brother’s new friend Hunk.

It’s just not his weekend, really.

He looks to the man opening the gates of the town to them and watches Lance pay him a certain amount they worked out over the phone before coming, he’s not sure how much it is, but from the pained look on Lance’s face when he hands it over it’s probably a substantial amount.

Nonetheless it gets them in.

“I still can’t believe you had your mom make me this shirt…” Keith grumbles, looking down at the red shirt he’s wearing with an identical print to the one on Lance’s.

“Well you liked it so much at our christmas party, how could I not?” Lance smirks, “Besides, it’s the official shirt, isn’t it?”

“I regret so much.” The older boy sighs, looking down and running his fingers over the word ‘bootiful’ beneath the ghost in a magnifying glass on his shirt with a gentle smile, “It _was_ nice of your mom, though. To make it so quickly, for some kid she doesn’t even know, she must be a really kind person.”

Lance blushes and awkwardly clears his throat, turning to look anywhere else and accidentally makes eye contact with Shiro, “Um,” He practically squeaks out as Shiro raises a brow, an amused smile on his face.

There’s a small feeling of power Shiro gets when Lance quickly looks away from him as well.

“M-mom is the best!” Lance laughs, “She, uh-”

“She got it done so quickly because Lance pestered the shit out of her.” Hunk explains, earning a dark look from his best friend. “Lots of ‘Mamá, por favor, es muy importante para mí!’ filled our apartment and probably drove his poor mom insane for the last month.” He mocks, earning an elbow to his side as he laughs.

Keith rolls his eyes before smiling at Lance again, “You get so intense about your jokes sometimes.”

Shiro notices the look Lance and Hunk share, and he can’t help but stare at his stupid brother for a moment.

“Okay, yes, we all love the shirt,” Pidge says, still wearing her alien shirt from earlier in the day, “Clearly Lance and I have the best taste in clothing here, but can we figure out what we are gonna do for this episode? Matt is practically jumping out of his skin to run around the place, but I know you want to do an explanation first.”

“Let’s goooooooo!” Matt groans, shooting Shiro an annoyed look, like he has any say.

“Alright, let’s set up a spot.” Lance says, placing two chairs in a random area, “Alright, Keith, come sit.”

“We have guests, aren’t we gonna have them sit with us while you tell it?” Keith asks, raising a brow when Lance tenses up some.

“W-we...we only have two chairs…”

Matt lights up, “I can sit in Shiro’s lap, and Keith can sit-!”

“No way!” Lance and Shiro exclaim, glaring at the now grinning Matt.

“Keith and Lance can do their thing on their own, we’ll just walk around with them after.” Shiro says, Lance nodding from his spot off to the side with the chairs.

“Fine.” Matt grumbles, dejectedly.

“Why don’t you and Matt do it?” Keith offers, everyone but him noticing the fleeting look of hurt on Lance’s face at the suggestion.

“You really want Matt to take your spot?” Shiro asks and Keith rolls his eyes.

“Not really, but he looks like he wants to.”

Matt laughs a little, “Nah,  you boys do your thing. I’m more excited for the actual ghost hunting.” He turns to Pidge, “Why don’t you give Shiro your camera and show me how the ghost equipment works?”

“Sure, why not?” She hands Shiro a large camcorder that he’s honestly shocked she can carry, before running off with Matt.

“Um...ok…” Keith plops down in his seat next to a much happier looking Lance as Shiro gets the camcorder ready.

“Tonight we are taking a trip through Vulture mine and it’s surrounding ghost town.” Lance says, smiling at the camera, “Pidge has always said that if ghosts _were_ real, in some alternate reality, they would most likely be in mines.”

Hunk turns his camera to Pidge and Matt.

“I said in a _fantasy world_ , Lance, don’t go changing my words!” She hollers and Hunk chuckles a little under his breath before turning back to the two.

“I guess that would make sense,” Keith shrugs, “Dying trapped underground would make someone pretty bitter, and in a _fantasy world_ where ghosts exist I know that _I_ would haunt the place that buried me alive.”

Lance laughs a little, “Think you might be a little bitter?”

Keith smiles at him, “I _might_ be.”

“Welp, with that out of the way, time for some history! In 1863, a prospector named Henry Wickenburg found a quartz deposit containing gold, setting up Vulture Mine. It quickly became the most successful, producing over 340,000 oz of gold and 260,000 oz in silver, between 1863 and 1942.”

Keith gawks at him and Shiro must admit even he’s surprised at the amount, “ _Jesus_ that’s a lot of gold!”

“Sure is!”

“I always thought, honestly because I never gave enough of a shit to look into it, that mining towns and whatnot happened after someone found like a tiny bit of gold and then others found out and flocked to it hoping they might find some, too. Didn’t really connect that there was a time when our country was full of gold.”

“This town was literally overflowing with gold, but don’t worry,” Lance grins at him, “That’s why you’re the pretty one and I’m the smart one.”

Keith scoffs, “That _literally_ could not be further from the truth. You’re looking for _ghosts_ , Lance.”

“So are you.”

“No, I’m going to interesting new places and watching an idiot freak out over the wind.”

Lance gasps, “How DARE!”

“Suck it up, buttercup.” Keith smirks and Shiro has to stop himself from laughing behind the lens.

Lance crosses his arms and pouts for a second, “ _Anyways,_ the mine was so lucrative that they created the small town for the miners. It ended up with 5,000 residents, which might be a small amount these days but back then was a lot.”

“That’s pretty much a boom town back then. A town full of gold lovers. That’s the dream.”

“Yeah? That’s the dream?”

Keith nods, “Just imagine it, everyone does the same thing for work so you always have something to talk about. Not to mention everyone is there for gold, for greed, just a big old town of like-minded people.”

Lance laughs, “Yeah, I’m sure the conversations were great. ‘Hello John!’ ‘Hello Jim!’ ‘Get a lot of gold today?’”

“Ohhhh a smart man wouldn’t tell the others how much gold he got.” Keith points out, “Town full of greedy people isn’t very safe.”

“Neither of you understand how mining work.” Shiro sighs from behind the camera.

Both boys awkwardly clear their throats before Lance speaks up again, “Anyways, during World War II they shut it down, as they shut down all mines not helping out with the war. Once it shut down, naturally everyone left and it became a ghost town, leaving us with the skeletal remains we see before us.”

“They’re not-” Keith groans, “They’re not ‘skeletal remains’, Lance, jesus do you even hear yourself?”

“Watch it, Keith!” Lance warns, “It’s a perfectly acceptable way to talk about this place!”

“I would use remnants, but I guess you’re just edgier than me now.” Keith teases, earning himself the bird from Lance.

“ _Boys._ ” Shiro groans, making both of them sit at attention, “Lance, continue.”

Lance practically _beams_ at him and Shiro can’t help but smile back. “Anyways! This town is said to be haunted by those who never left, the area in general has reports of disembodied voices, orbs, cold spots and apparitions. That being said, let’s get out there!” He jumps up from his seat and yanks Keith to his feet as well, “We’ll start with a famous hot spot! The generator room!”

Pidge and Matt hear him and quickly join, the former taking the camcorder from Shiro so the latter can take his hand and follow Lance and Keith.

“By the way, this trip we have two special guests!” Lance says when Shiro and Matt come up, “Shiro here is Keith’s older brother, he got all the kindness and coolness in the family-”

“Hey!”

“And this is Matt, Pidge’s older brother. He’s the second coolest dude, only to Hunk.”

“Awww, thanks buddy.” Matt grins, “Now lets go hunt some ghosts!”

“Yeah!” Lance cheers, leading the way.

“That’s your boyfriend, Shiro.” Keith points out and his brother can’t help but laugh.

“You keep saying that, like it’s supposed to be some bad thing and I’m not _super_ happy about it and thank god every day he’s with me.” Shiro says, making Keith blush from second-hand embarrassment.

“You, um...you know Pidge is like _right there_ recording us.” Keith points out, gesturing to Pidge a few feet to their left with a shit eating grin.

Shiro blushes a little but shrugs it off, “I am _literally_ living with him. I think he’s aware I love him.”

“Glad to hear it, I’ll show him this later.” Pidge smirks, “Now get a move on boys, your nerds await.”

“He’s _not_ my-!” Keith begins, getting cut off when Shiro grabs his shoulders and pushes him forward until they are all back together in the dilapidated generator room.

“How kind of you to join us.” Lance says, looking more than a little annoyed, surrounded by old and broken machinery.

“Sorry, Shiro had to wax poetic about his boyfriend for a minute.” Keith shrugs and Shiro buries his face in his hands.

“That’s _not-_ ” He scowls to himself because it kind of is what ultimately made them take longer, “God damnit, Keith.”

“Anyways,” Keith begins, walking over to stand next to Lance, “Tell us about your wonderful generator room.”

“Well, it’s rumored that a man died a grizzly death in here.”

“Ya don’t say.”

Lance shoots him a look, “He was said to have been pulled into that machine there and was ground up.” He says, gesturing to a large machine, “Don’t quite know what it was for originally, though.”

“Clearly it was a people grinder.” Keith smirks, the smile softening a little as soon as Lance starts laughing.

And that’s when it hits Shiro.

Keith is aware of his own crush, which is probably Shiro’s own fault after their little talk.

 _Damnit_. What are the kids saying these days? ‘You played yourself?’

Yup, looks like Shiro did.

“I doubt that was the official use, Keith.” Lance says, grinning at him.

“Looks like an old machine that utilized centrifugal force to create energy.” Matt suggests, “But it’s kind of old and falling apart so I can’t really tell what it is.”

“See, Keith? Not a people grinder.”

Keith shrugs, “I dunno, Lance, grinding people would make a lot of energy.”

“That would actually _take_ a lot of energy, Keith.” Matt points out and Lance grins.

“He’s my new favorite.” Lance whispers loudly to Keith who just rolls his eyes.

“Hooray.”

“This place is pretty creepy, though.” Matt says, inching closer to Shiro as he looks around, “Without the floodlights there is definitely an eerie feel to it.”

“Yeah,” Shiro agrees, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him closer, “Aren’t you into that, though?”

“As long as you’re here.” Matt answers easily, and Shiro can’t help but smile because it’s not teasing or flirty, it’s just a fact. His presence makes Matt feel safe.

“Are you scared?” Keith asks, smirking at Lance.

“ _Obviously_! How are you not?”

“Well, I’m scared this machine might fall apart, but scared of the ghosts? No.”

Lance sighs, “Wish I had someone to cuddle up to.”

Shiro notices Keith’s arm twitch, reaching out on impulse before the boy quickly stops himself. “Keith can cuddle you.” He offers, grinning at his brother, “Right?”

“Aren’t we supposed to be looking for ghosts!?” Lance exclaims, awkwardly, “Get the EVP out and let’s try to communicate.”

“I’m not bringing you again,” Keith huffs, “You two are too weird.”

Lance gets out the EVP and holds it near the machine, “You talk first, Keith, I’m kinda nervous.”

“Because of the ghosts or the two losers cuddling up to each other?” Keith asks but comes up before he can answer, “If the guy who got his guts spun up into the rafter is here-”

“KEITH!” Lance and Matt yell, going ignored.

“Come on out and talk to us.” He finishes and everyone goes silent, waiting to hopefully hear something or have the EVP pick up on a sound.

Nothing happens.

“I didn’t like iiit,” Pidge mutters in her best old man voice, “It wasn’t fuunnnnn.” She adds, making Keith burst out laughing, wrapping an arm around his stomach as the other one falls on Lance’s shoulder to brace himself.

“You two are _assholes_.” Lance grumbles, or tries to, but he has a huge smile on his face as he watches Keith and his voice is far too light to come off as even annoyed.

“You two really know how to set the mood.” Hunk jokes from behind the camera.

“Alright, alright, come on.” Lance chuckles, grabbing the hand on his shoulder and pulling Keith away from the machine, “We’re gonna be _serious_ this time.”

“Ugh, so boring.” Keith mutters, his eyes now glued to where Lance is now holding his wrist.

They all go to another end of the warehouse, standing in front of new machinery. Hunk and Pidge each go on seperate sides of Keith and Lance as Shiro works his way behind the two, Matt still under his arm.

“Sorry for my rude friends back there, but if there are _any_ ghosts in here, please show us a sign...or make a noise of some kind?” Lance calls before the room goes silent. As the seconds pass, Shiro can see his body growing more and more tense and he wants nothing more than to force his stupid brother to comfort the kid in some way.

Still, though. Can’t have too much sympathy for the kid who is literally running the show.

After a solid minute passes he notices Lance inch closer to Keith, who seems to notice and goes to do _something_ when a loud sound comes from the far left of the room.

“ _Shit._ ” Lance hisses under his breath, nerves going into overdrive, “Is...is someone there?” He turns to look at Keith, fear in his eyes, “Should….should we go see what it is?”

“Yeah,” Keith replies calmly, “Maybe it’s a snake.”

Lance narrows his eyes, “A _snake_?”

“Sure, a little snake wrapped around an ax, with a cute little hat on. You know, just working in the warehouse.”

Lance shakes his head, visibly calming down some, “You heard that though, right? I wasn’t imagining it?”

“I hear metal on metal.” Keith offers, “I don’t want to, you know, outright shoot you down, but…”

“That’s what you’re doing?” Lance suggests and Keith nods.

“That’s what I’m doing.”

The group look around the spot where they heard the noise come from and see nothing, from the set up of dust on the objects it doesn’t even look like anything just fell over to cause the noise either. Shiro thinks about pointing this out, but he decides not to.

Ghost hunting is _their_ thing. They need to figure out how to find evidence theirselves.

Also Matt is still kinda tense beside him and he doesn’t wanna scare him more.

But, you know, _mostly_ the first thing.

“Welp, onto the next location.” Pidge announces, gesturing for Keith and Lance to lead the way.

“So another hot spot is the  two-story Assay building, which was used to make bars of gold and silver.” Lance explains as they head to a crumbling brick building with the words ‘Assay Office’  on the wooden door, “Back in the day, this building had a vault where these bars were kept safe. It’s said the whole city was lawless and ran rampant with crime.”

Keith laughs a little, “I love it, that good old gold thieving crime. Literally the best.”

“Fun fact, the city, being lawless, was mostly run by vigilante justice. So people were just running around fucking shit up, stabbing each other.”

“How very ‘Old West’ of them. I’m a big fan.”

Lance rolls his eyes, “Oh yeah? It would have had everything you wanted, then. Lots of action, dancin’, gold and smoochin’ going on.”

“D...dancing?”

“Yup. Dancing, smooching, gold and action. In droves. It’s all they did.”

“Lordy!” Keith teases and Lance shakes his head.

“It sounds like your kinda town,” Shiro says to Matt, “Except for the action part.”

“That’s fair, I’m all about them dances and smoochin’.” Matt grins, “Bring me some gold! Bring me some smooches!”

“I’ll bring you some smooches,” Shiro mutters, leaning in until Keith and Pidge clear their throats.

Loudly.

It actually sounds like it probably hurt.

“ _Anyways_!” Pidge begins, “Lance, the assay!”

“R-right,” Lance blushes a little, “They say that the assay was frequently under attack by people out to steal the gold and silver, and while there’s no real evidence of it, one could pretty safely assume that there were some deaths from this.” He explains, leading the way with Keith into the old building.

Shiro’s not a fan of this whole ‘brother and Pidge going into old abandoned buildings’ schtick. Not that he has much of a choice, though.

“People who visit here have reported things like rocks being thrown and dust falling from the ceiling as if someone is walking above, and someone even captured an EVP of a voice saying ‘Get Out’.” Lance says as Keith looks around.

“Oh hey, look, there’s a huge rat.” Keith points out and Lance looks over.

“Jesus christ that’s a big ass rat.”

“Look at the little guy go! At least we get to see one alive this time.”

“Yaaaay.” Lance deadpans before walking ahead, “Man this place is pretty intense.” He shines his light on an old kiln, probably used to for the gold and silver bars, “This is where the magic happened, baby.”

Keith goes to say something when they all hear a strange loud noise. “Oh boy.” He mumbles when Lance tenses up.

“Did you hear that? Something just whispered!”

“That-no. Lance, just no.”

“And why not?”

“People, nor your little ‘ghosts’ make that sound.”

Lance crosses his arms, “The hell they don’t.”

“So you think, whatever powers may be, were like ‘it’s not your time yet, I want you to go back to earth and tell them..” Keith makes a small choking noise and Pidge laughs.

“Is there anybody in here with us right now?” Lance asks, pointedly ignoring them.

“Other than the rat,” Keith adds, ‘helpfully’.

“Other than the rat.” Lance sighs and makes them all stay quiet for a while. Nothing happens this time, though, so they head off to the next place, “Alright, let’s head to the storage room I guess.” They walk to it and notice a sign above stating this is the location of the vault.

“Ohh, think there might be some left overs?” Matt asks, grinning at Lance, who grins back.

“I doubt it.” Shiro says, making their faces drop.

“You’re no fun.” Lance pouts and Matt nods.

“He’s all muscles and reality checks.”

“Jeez, at least your half of the brother set has muscles. Ours looks like a twink.”

Keith gasps, “I _do not_! Besides, I have muscles! I could bench press you, no problem!”

Lance smirks at him, “Oh yeah? _Prove it_.”

“No problem!” Keith moves closer until Shiro grabs the collar of his shirt.

“Easy, boy. Did you forget we’re here for ghosts? Not...whatever this is.”

“Right, right.” Keith grumbles, grabbing Lance’s shoulders and pushing him inside, “Let’s get going.”

Lance immediately heads off into a side room alone before quickly turning and heading back. “Ok, no, I don’t like that room.”

“Why not?” Matt asks and Keith smirks.

“Of course you realize we have to start in that room now, right?”

Lance goes to tell him off, but instead settles for a suffering groan, “ _I know_.” He follows Keith back into the room, moving over some so everyone else can enter as well. “Is there...anyone in here? I know I feel like someone is in here…”

“Aw, there’s another rat in here.” Pidge calls this time, practically cooing at the creature.

“Dead?” Hunk asks and Pidge raises a brow.

“Why...would I coo at a dead animal? Nah, man, he’s running around under that pile of wood.” She gestures and he laughs a little.

“Fair point.”

“So this is the main office of the building,” Lance begins, pointing his camera around, “Pidge, Hunk, Shiro and Matt have just set up a bunch of stuff. We have a motion detector hanging out right on that table there, along with some cameras, and our gopros, all set up to catch it go off.”

“If it goes off I’m gonna lose my mind.” Hunk mumbles, moving closer to Pidge.

“If you’re here, once again, step near this table. The one with the little white box on it.” Lance calls and Shiro feels Matt curl a little more into him.

They stand there, once again in silence for what feels like an eternity, before Lance lets out a dejected sigh.

“I’m not gonna gloat here,” Keith says, “Because, honestly, at a certain point I just feel bad for you.”

“Keith, I _swear-_ ”

“What about trying to call out to them sounding like cowboys?” Pidge suggests, trying hard to look serious,”Maybe it’ll make them more comfortable if you sound like them?”

Keith gives her a _brutal_ look that Shiro would scold him for, but this time he’s gonna let it slide because _damn_ Pidge.

Lance looks like he loves the idea, “Yes! Keith! Can you do a southern accent?”

“...Maybe….?”

“Let’s do this!” Lance clears his throat and does his best cowboy impression, “Howdy, y’all,” Shiro watches Keith physically cringe, “We left some gold out for ya, if’n ya want it.”

“That is so offensive, I cannot even…” Keith grumbles under his breath before sighing and joining it, “Unless yer too scared.”

“I guess that’s all you are. Buncha yellow bellies.” Lance sighs.

“I stole yer gold, and yer wife!” Pidge calls from her spot across the room, making Keith and Lance burst out laughing.

“P-Pidge, don’t get them mad at _us_!” Hunk exclaims, looking torn between moving away or closer to her.

“Welp, this place is a dud. _Shocker_.” Keith announces, “Let’s grab out shit and go to the next spot.”

Matt looks over to Lance excitedly as he picks up a camera on a trifold in the corner of the room, “Oooo, what’s next?”

Lance smiles back, equally excited, “The _hanging tree_!”

“ _Fucking. Awesome.”_ Matt practically bounces over to him, “Let’s get going!”

Shiro looks at the two and sighs, “He’s so cute when he’s excited.” He whispers to himself, scooping two tri-folds into one arm and their cameras into his hands.

“You guys are disgusting.” Keith grumbles, carrying one out himself.

“ _Agreed_.” Pidge groans, following behind them.

“Psh, you two are just jealous.” Shiro teases and both of their left eyes twitch in unison. (It’s amazing, really.)

“Literally no.” They say, again, in unison, and Shiro briefly wonders if aliens are real and perhaps his and Matt’s baby siblings have been replaced.

Nah.

Aliens would probably be less weird.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every time I do a chapter with one of the haunted places I rewatch the Buzzfeed Unsolved episode and get reminded just how much I love this show oml. I'm so happy people are checking it out and falling in love with it bc of this story.


	19. What Pidge Finds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they finish up at Vulture Mine, Pidge and Keith discover some shit

Pidge tries not to curse as a moth flies towards her face, following the light on her camcorder. Since Lance is currently droning on about the town, again, and she doesn’t much care, she focuses all of her attention on silently  _ hating _ the rude moth, until they all come to an abrupt stop in front of a tree.

“Here we have the hanging tree, a once popular spot of execution.” Lance says and Keith looks it over, nodding.

“Yup, this is a solid hanging tree, even has a nice Tim Burton-y feel to it. 10/10 would hang my criminals here.”

“It makes sense, it’s a very sturdy tree.” Shiro points out and Matt grins ear to ear.

“That bad boy is  _ thicc _ .” He laughs at his own joke before seeing the unimpressed stares.

Sometimes Pidge likes to pretend they aren’t related.

Sometimes frequently.

“...You guys…?” Matt prompts and Pidge shakes her head.

“No.  _ No. _ You need to stand there and  _ think  _ about what you just did.”

“I’m just saying. I bet this bad boy has given a lot of  _ shade  _ in his time.” Matt smirks and Lance actually snickers and Pidge wonders if Shiro would hold her recording equipment so she could kick his boyfriend’s ass.

He absolutely would.

“I sure hope no one picnicked under this thing…” Hunk mutters, earning a soft smile from Lance.

“Of course they didn’t, Hunk, they normally just left the body hanging there after, then buried them right under the tree. Not exactly the picnic atmosphere most go for.”

“Wait,  _ what _ ?” Hunk gasps and Keith laughs a little.

“Such lazy murderers.” 

“It wasn’t murder. It was justice.” Lance offers and Keith raises a brow.

“What a bunch of lazy  _ vigilante  _ murderers.” He smirks as Lance narrows his eyes.

“I hate that I can’t argue that. So I’m going to ignore it,” The younger man decides, motioning back to the tree, “and tell you more about this bad boy’s history.  It was the spot of more than just criminal hangings, it is believed the founder, Henry Wickenburg came out here and shot himself when he became sick and poor, what remains of his house is right over there.”

Matt looks over to the rubble of the Wickenburg house, “Nice digs.”

“ _ Please  _ shut up and let Lance talk about hanging more.” Pidge groans and Lance laughs.

“It’s said that around 18 people were hung between 1860 and 1900 for stealing...but more horrifying than the number is the way they went about the hangings. They would hang the man from the tree using a big rock, and when they pushed said rock away it would take between 2 minutes and 2 hours to die.”

Keith winces, “Damn, no necks snapping, huh?”   
“Nope, too low to the ground. They just struggled to keep on their tip toes and live until they finally lost the energy.”

Well, I guess that’s what happens when you steal.”

Lance shakes his head, “I dunno man, if you’re gonna hang someone you should at least have the decency to make it as quick as possible.”

Keith shrugs, “You wanna dance with the devil, you gotta live with it when he dangles you from a tree for up to two hours.”

Lance bursts out laughing, “That- really? So poetic, Keith, you should embroider that into a pillow.” 

“Maybe I will.”

“He won't,” Pidge pipes in, “He can’t thread a needle to save his life and he  _ definitely  _ can’t sew.”

Keith rolls his eyes, muttering under his breath about traitorous gremlins as he walks around the tree to get to the Wickenburg...rubble. “When you really look at it, this tree kinda looks like it could come alive and kill you at any second, huh, Lance?” He teases and Lance just scoffs beside him.

“Like tha-” A bat flies past his head and Pidge is beyond grateful she not only got the footage of said bat, but Keith is currently getting footage of Lance’s screaming face.

“It’s just a bat, Lance, this is bat country.”

“I don’t care, I don’t want them flying in my face!”

“Should have thought of that before you brought us to bat country.”

Lance gives him a dirty look before grabbing his shoulder and pushing him forward until they are between the Wickenburg rubble and the hanging tree, “Alright, we’re gonna try to communicate here.”

Keith looks down at the rubble and laughs a little, “I love how his house was right next to the hanging tree.”

Pidge snickers, “He probably had a nice couch set up by the window overlooking it and would just sip a cup of tea, watching them kick to their death, being all like ‘that’s what you get for messing with my shit.’”

Keith shrugs, “I  _ have  _ heard that payback is best served with warm tea.”

Lance raises a brow, “You guys are fucked up.” He shakes his head for a moment before pulling out the EVP, “Alright, if there’s anyone here right now, whether it be someone who was hung here for stealing or Henry Wickenburg himself, show yourself.” His eyes light up a little and he turns to Keith, “I actually feel a little brave right now.”

“Excellent, use it. Give those ghosts a good talking to.”

With more conviction, and far louder, Lance repeats himself, “Show yourself, ghosts! You cowards!” Almost immediately after saying it, Hunk stumbles into a branch and Lance’s hand latches onto Keith’s arm, “Oh, fuck, it was just Hunk. I immediately lost all courage as soon as I heard a noise.” He says between laughs.

“Come on ghosts, you heard the guy. Don’t be a bunch of cowards and show yourselves.” Keith says, ignoring Lance’s hand clearly tightening around his arm.

“H-hey now, didn’t you hear me? No need to do anything, guys, bravery gone.”

“Come on you scoundrels!” 

Lance shoots him a dirty look, finally silencing Keith.

They all stand there for what feels like an eternity, waiting to see if anything happens.

AND RIGHT WHEN EVERYONE BEGINS TO LET THEIR GUARD DOWN-

Nothing fucking happens because  _ ghosts aren’t real _ .

Seriously.

Pidge  _ does  _ appreciate the historical significance of these places though, and if you think for a second while she films that she isn’t looking over every inch of Henry’s rubble you are a fucking idiot.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Lance resigns himself to the fact nothing is gonna happen and they get to leave the spot.

“This next spot we are heading to is supposed to be one of the most haunted areas-”

“You say that about virtually every spot.” Keith points out, going ignored by Lance.

“-The school house, where the miners children learned. People have reported seeing a dark figure, and hearing children’s laughter, and one person even said they were pushed,” He once again ignores Keith as the latter begins to laugh, “There’s said to be a mass grave of children nearby who died of the plague, lending to the spiritual presence in this area.”

“So…” Keith says, looking to Lance, “What is the factual basis behind this ‘plague’? What plague?”

“I don't know, there were no records-”

“Was it one of those plagues where the teacher just opens up her mouth and flies come out? I mean they say the teachers were more intense back in those days. Nobody did the homework last night? A plague on you all!”

Lance laughs and elbows a now grinning Keith, Pidge can’t help but take a peek at Shiro during this and notice the almost tired expression (he totally fucking knows). “Shut up, it was a rumor.”

“Awful lot of rumors going around.”

“Look, people try to figure out what is causing all the activity in the school house and that’s one of the theories.”

Keith nods, “Uhuh, okay, so let me ask you...does this completely unverified, probably pulled out of someone’s ass, rumor make you scared of this place?”

“Of-fucking-course it does! I’m scared to be anywhere in this place! I got scared by Hunk!” Lance points out.

“Yeah…” Keith turns to look at Hunk slowly, voice full of a level of done Pidge sadly understands, “Yeah, you did...”

“With that being said, let’s head in I guess.” Lance sighs, clearly nervous as they enter the large empty room with a chalkboard.

“This must be where they taught classes.” Matt points out and Pidge scoffs.

“ _ Nooooo _ , here? In this room with a chalkboard? Nonsense.”

“Pidge.” Shiro warns, using his patented Dad Tone™. 

“Let’s write something on the board.” Hunk suggests, “Like rest in peace?”

“Or i bambini fantasma succhiano il culo.” Pidge offers, making Matt and Keith snicker.

Shiro sighs, tiredly, “ _ Pidge _ .” He warns again.

“What? What did she say?” Lance asks and Keith looks at him with a grin.

“Ghost kids suck ass.”

“PIDGE!” Lance and Hunk scream, absolutely appalled, and Pidge laughs harder.

“Oh wow, a piano!” Matt points out from the other side of a door in the room, he goes to touch a key but quickly stops himself, “No, scratch that, I don’t need some shit like in The Haunting where a wire snaps and cuts my face…”

“Well, I mean, they wires don’t snap when the ghost children have reportedly played it.” Lance points out and Matt backs away quickly.

“Nope, no, don’t want ghost cooties.”

“Ghost cooties?” Shiro asks, amused.

“It’s a thing, my dear Shiro. It’s a thing.”

“It’s about as much of a thing as ghosts.” Pidge chimes in and Matt nods.

“See? It’s a thing.”

“That’s not-!” She begins, before quickly giving up with a loud groan.

Lance and Keith do their thing again, calling to the spirits to answer or show themselves, and  _ surprise surprise _ , they spend another 20 minutes standing around a room in silence.

Granted, Pidge doesn’t usually find this so tedious, but tonight for some reason she just feels like there’s  _ something more important _ she could be doing with her time.

Which, as far as she knows, isn’t actually true.

All of her homework was done before break, she’s on vacation time with work, and really the trip has been fun so far. Maybe it’s because her brother is here, she feels like she should be spending quality time with him.

Instead of, you know, standing in silence with him and her dumb friends in the ruins of an old mining town.

Regardless, she keeps it all to herself as Lance leads them all to a back room, filled with rubble and-

“Oh, great, there’s a dead bird in here.” Lance deadpans, “I wonder how a dead bird got in here.”

“Well,” Keith begins, “It was probably a living bird when it came in. Unless, you know, the ghost kids wanted a pet, I guess, and just brought a dead bird inside.”

“Ugh, it’s eyes are gone.” Matt cringes next to Shiro as Lance just looks at Keith like he wants to smack him.

So, you know, the way he normally looks at Keith during these things.

“Eyes don’t really stay when you die.” Keith points out before he notices the two closed doors against the wall, “Oh hey, some closets.”

“Yeah, let’s not fuck with those.” Lance says and Keith shrugs.

“What would you do if I opened one and a ton of rattlesnakes came out?”

“I would leave your ass here so fast there would be a little puff of cartoon dust where I was standing.”

Keith laughs a little, “I hope you have your running shoes on.” He climbs over some debris and gets to the furthest door, “Are you ready?” 

“Keith don-!” Lance is cut off by Keith slowly creaking the door open before looking back at him.

“It’s a mattress. You look a little pale, want me to get it out so you can lie down for a minute?” Keith teases, earning a moment of silence where an odd sound comes through the room, making Lance, Matt, and Hunk scream.

Pidge sighs, she didn’t exactly plan to have Hunk’s strong arms wrapped around her head and Lance clinging to her arm, but here she fucking is. “Dude it was the wind.”

“You guys have a serious wind problem.” Keith points out, his eyes oh-so-subtly glancing over where Lance is clinging to Pidge. Like he’s jealous. Really, though, he can take  _ both  _ of these scaredy cats, that would be  _ fine _ . Pidge needs her personal space back.

“”You just have to knock it every time, don't you? It’s like, your life’s mission.” Lance grumbles and Keith shrugs.

“Not really, I mean I don’t hear these sounds and immediately think ‘yes another chance to shoot Lance’s ideas down. I hear these sounds and, much like any other logical person, I make a connection to the  _ actual thing it is _ .”

“That sounded like a  _ child,  _ Keith!”

Keith nods, “Yes, yes, I remember fondly in kindergarten, doing roll call and having good old haaa call out his name.” He says, repeating the wind sound again for emphasis.

“Words cannot describe how much I hate you right now.”

“You're about to hate me even more, because,” He gestures to the unopened door, “This one is all yours.”

“No.”

“Yes. You gotta. For your show.”

Lance grumbles to himself in Spanish, and Pidge picks up a few choice words that make her snicker, before he meets up with Keith in front of the doors, “Fine, I’ll open this one. It can’t be that bad, since yours was just a mattress.” 

“Unless you picked the wrong one and there is some clown with a half melted face and axe in there.” He teases and Lance repeats him in a mocking tone.

“Oh my god just open the door,” Pidge groans, “Flirt later. I’m getting hungry.”

“Huh,” Hunk pulls away from her and gets his equipment focused again, “Me too, actually. Kind of feels like we’ve been here forever this time.”

“ _ Thank you _ .” Pidge breathes and he just gives her a sympathetic smile as Lance nervously approaches the door. Finally, very jerkily and immediately jumping away after, Lance opens the door.

“Wow, a closet.” Keith says, shining his flashlight in the empty space, “Who would have guessed?”

Finally they get to the fun part where yet again they go silent, turning the lights off. Again Lance calls for them to show themselves and again nothing happens.

Until about ten minutes in when they begin to hear a silent creaking from behind Keith.

“Is that...is the door behind you opening?” Lance asks, voice shaking.

“Sure sounds like it.” Keith says, “Hey, ghost, if you’re opening that door, feel free to take a second and tap on my shoulder, just let me know you’re here.”

“I-if you’re opening that door,” Lance begins, “Please swing it open, so we know for sure you’re here.”

“Yes, please do.” Keith agrees.

There is no tap on the shoulder, or doors swinging open, but for the next ten minutes the door continues to slowly creak open, until Lance finally snaps and makes everyone turn on their light so they can get out. Honestly, Pidge is impressed he lasted that long.

“Okay, okay,” Lance breathes shakily, “Let’s, um, let’s head to the bordello.”

“Could we, um, take a minute?” Matt asks weakly and Lance quickly nods.

“Yes! Yes, let’s take a minute.”

So they do. They take a minute. Five of them, actually, to let these dorks calm down, and when they finally do Lance leads them over to the last stop before the actual mines; the bordello. 

“Alright, this is the bordello suite.” Lance says, leading Keith to the door, “This is where they went to get the old carrot waxed.”

“That...can not  _ possibly  _ be a euphemism.” 

“Oh it is, their carrots were shiny.”

Keith cringes, “Please no.”

“Let’s play a game of ‘bury the corncob.” Matt says helpfully and Lance laughs.

“Now you see it, now you don't!”

“Oh god, you are ruining vegetables for me.” Keith groans as Lance heads inside.

“Ooohhh, I don’t like it in here.”

“NO!” The older boy gasps with so much sarcasm even Pidge is impressed, “But you get such a good feeling from all these places. Surely the best feeling place would the the bordello.”

“I, no, I hate it in her-HOLY FUCK!” Lance yells, “MORE GODDAMN BATS!”

“It’s your favorite!” Keith teases.

Lance takes a second to collect himself before speaking up, “Is anyone here? Henry…? I heard there was a woman who worked here named Rita, are you...um…”

“You wanna make some money, Rita?” Keith asks and Shiro gasps.

“Keith! I raised you better than to proposition a fucking  _ ghost whore _ !”

“I don’t know, all signs point to the contrary.” Pidge teases, “He propositioned her pretty fast.”

“Come on, I’m gay and she’s been dead for ages. I’m simply offering some money if she shows up.” Keith explains and Lance rolls his eyes before everyone falls silent.

“ _ What? _ ” A voice seemingly whispers and Lance looks at Keith.

“Did you….say something?”

“Hm? No, thought we were doing our quiet thing.”

“I heard a ‘what’.” Lance says, growing nervous.

“Did you? I heard debris scraping against the floor.”

“I..heard a ‘what’, too.” Matt offers and Lance tenses up. 

“Wh-why don’t we just leave now?”

“...We are here to catch that kind of shit, though. You know that, right? I mean if there is actual evidence we can’t just leave.” Keith teases, obviously with Pidge on the not believing it was a voice.

“You  _ heard _ that, Keith! I know you did!”

“Yeah, I heard shit get moved around when we walked. If you wanna call them out some more, though, by all means let’s do it.”

Lance glares at him, but clears his throat and speaks up, calling out to the ghosts to speak again. This time nothing happens even in Lance’s opinion, so they finally head out to the mines.

“Ugh, like the bugs weren’t terrible  _ in _ town.” Pidge grumbles and Keith laughs.

“These bats need to step up their game.”

“This place is amazing…” Matt says, his eyes wandering past the gate in front of them to the old mines.

“Unfortunately, thanks to deterioration, the mines are no longer safe for entry. There is, however, one spot open to visitors, that serves as a massive tomb. “ Lance explains, ushering everyone to a little side by side. “Lets go check it out.”

Keith narrows his eyes at Lance as he gets in the driver seat, “Drive slowly in this thing.”

“Okay  _ grandma _ .” Lance smirks, plopping down beside Keith in the front as everyone else piles into the back.

“I’m serious, Lance, this is a tiny vehicle with  _ way too much weight on it _ . You topple us making a turn and there will be no more wondering if ghosts are real because I will murder your ass right fucking here.” Keith warns, and Pidge notices his grip tighten on the side of the vehicle as Lance’s smirk just grows.

Maybe...maybe she should walk this.

True to form, Lance jerks the fucking thing a few times, earning a couple of quiet gasps from Keith that Pidge is pretty sure she might have to deck Lance.

The stupid bitch needs to find a different way to flirt. 

One that doesn’t send her into Shiro’s elbow.

They somehow get there in one piece, though, and after Shiro convinces Keith that murder isn’t the answer, they start filming again.

“Now this beautiful spot you see here has an interesting, and unfortunate name,” Lance begins, looking at Keith with a shit eating grin, “It’s called the Glory hole.”

“You’re joking.” Keith eyes the land suspiciously.

“What’s wrong, Keith? Are you not enjoying the Glory Hole?” Lance asks with an innocent look as Keith chuckles under his breath, shaking his head most likely in disbelief that his life has come to discussing Glory Holes with his crush while hunting ghosts.

At least that’s what Pidge would guess.

“Not really, I guess I just don’t enjoy the Glory Hole as much as you.” He finally says and Lance’s whole face lights up, like he just won something.

“So why exactly is it named...that…?” Hunk asks hesitantly and Lance grins at him. 

“It’s because this land took a good ol’ pounding.” Matt says between giggles.

“It’s where the men fucked the earth, hoping to impregnate it with gold, obviously.” Pidge interrupts and Lance bursts out laughing.

“You’re beautiful human beings, Holts.”

“Thanks for noticing.”Matt and Pidge reply in tandem as Lance works on calming himself down enough to speak again.

“This-the Glory Hole-” He giggles, “Is actually the site of a tragedy.” As soon as the words are out, everyone bursts out laughing with him.

“T-tell me,” Keith begins, clearing his throat a few times, “Tell me about this tragedy, Lance.”

“In 1923, the cavern collapsed, after one of the stone support pillars was overmined for the valuable ores in it.” Lance explains and Keith begins laughing again.

“They were mining the  _ support beams _ ?”

Lance just grins at him, clearly aware of how ridiculous it is, “Yep.”

“Jesus.”

“Anyways, back to being serious…” Shiro gives them both a look.

“Right…” Lance clears his throat, “The collapse killed seven miners and twelve burros, leaving their bodies trapped and undiscovered in the rubble. A former caretaker named Marty Hagan believes the collapse occurred because these miners were stealing, chipping away extra without regulation. He thinks that a big reason they were left in there was because they were thieves, and proper burial wasn’t high priority.”

Keith nods, “They  _ do _ hate their thieves.”

“Just imagine, where we are standing used to be underground mines, 13 miles of it.” Matt says, looking around in awe, “And in one foul swoop it all came crashing down, killing those inside.”

Hunk and Lance fall uncomfortably silent at the thought, until Pidge pulls them out of it.

“That being said, it’s time for you dweebs to try and talk to the air.” She says and Lance sighs.

“God, I can’t believe I’m provoking these people…” He gets out the EVP and begins calling for the ghosts to respond. “You can move something, throw something…”

‘A rock slide would be efficient.” Keith offers, earning a look from Lance and Shiro.

“Rock slides are dangerous, Keith.” Shiro scolds and Keith rolls his eyes, and suddenly Pidge feels like they're back in high school.

Only, you know, with more friends.

...And more fucking dirt and bugs.

“He’s right, Keith, you don’t wanna make a mess of the Glory Hole.” Matt snickers and Shiro looks at his boyfriend in horror.

Lance tried hard not to laugh himself.

The fun dies back down to silence, though, and they all just fucking stand there again. With the bugs flying around.

Pidge might make it a rule these things have to be inside.

As they wait, Pidge notices something moving from the corner of her eye. Soon enough a strange noise is coming from it as well and she quickly dodges Hunk’s frantic arms to go investigate.

“Oh shit, oh shit we really fucked up!” Lance begins panicking, “We pissed them off!”

Keith raises a brow, “You know sometimes I look at you and I think...this guy is gonna be teaching kids someday.” He turns his attention to Pidge as she inches closer to the moving blob of darkness, “Be careful, though, it might have rabies.”

“That’s what you're worried about!?” Lance screams, earning a dark look from Pidge.

“What? You mean the totally logical thing to be worried about? Yeah, yes,  _ that _ is what I’m worried about.” Keith says as Pidge gets closer, finally able to figure out the strange noise.

It’s whimpering.

She kneels down a few feet from the dark blob and calls for it, to her surprise the small creature comes hobbling over as quickly as it can. Using her camcorder’s light she looks it over, “Guys it’s a dog! A really..really dirty dog. Jesus, it’s fur has so much caked on dirt…” Pidge mutters, running her hand through the grimy fur.

“Is it injured?” Keith asks, slowly coming up behind her to look at it.

“I’m not sure? It hobbled over, but I’m pretty sure that’s because it’s nails are super overgrown and it’s hair is knotted together. Poor little thing, must have been abandoned.” Pidge mutters before Keith pulls out a knife, causing her to immediately wrap her arms around the fluffy dirt blob and hold it protectively, “The fuck are you doin’, boy?”

“I’m gonna cut out the knot I can see tying it’s back legs together.” Keith explains, like  _ she’s  _ the crazy one for getting defensive when he pulls out a knife.

Which maybe she is, because she knows damn well he would never hurt a dog.

“Alright, be quick though, who knows how it will react.” Pidge turns the dog over in her arms so it’s stomach is facing Keith, who makes quick work of cutting the knots out that are essentially tying it to itself. As soon as he’s finished, though, the dog wriggles out of Pidge’s grasp and runs away.

“Shit!” Keith hisses, grabbing Pidge’s arm and following it, everyone else quickly joining them.

The little blob of dirt darts through the Glory Hole (which will never not be funny, even when chasing a dog), like it knows the place by heart, before it finally stops next to an old mine opening, whimpering to Pidge and Keith.

“That must be where it’s been living.” Hunk says and Matt gasps.

“Do you think it has babies in there!?”

“No, the dog has a penis.” Keith says calmly, “And he’s very young, so I doubt he has babies. Something else must be in there.” He explains, gesturing for everyone else to stay put while he gets his flashlight and moves closer to the entrance.

“...No one is gonna ask how he knows that?” Lance asks, looking around, “Seriously?”

“Some of his matts were down there, and Keith has always been in love with dogs, so I’m not entirely surprised he can get a basic idea of age, either.” Pidge shrugs, “He gets super intense about shit he likes.” She says, smirking at the oblivious Lance near her.

“ _ I can hear you _ .” Keith groans before moving inside the entrance a little, making sure the dog doesn’t follow.

“Be careful!” Lance and Shiro call out in unison, matching looks of concern on their faces. 

It’s cute. 

Good thing Hunk is still filming this.

“It’s fine, I don’t se- _ holy shit _ !” Keith yells, quickly jumping back and grabbing the dog, holding it close to himself. “There’s a-!” He turns to Hunk, “Turn off the camera, there’s a dead body in there!” 

Shiro quickly pulls out his phone and calls the police as Hunk turns the last camera off.

“He looks like he’s been dead a few weeks.” Keith says and Lance raises a brow.

“ _ Again,  _ I must ask,  _ how do you know this shit _ ?”

“We are really big on horror movies,” Pidge explains, “So we checked out rate of decomp when we were little to see how accurate movies are.”

“Which is not at all.” Keith adds and Pidge nods.

“Not. At. All.”

Lance inches towards Hunk, “You guys...are creepy.”

“We were weird kids.” Keith admits, “Anyways, he’s been dead a while, looks kind of like he was homeless…” He looks to the dog in his arms, trying to get to his deceased owner, “He’s probably been waiting to find someone to save this man, being in such poor condition, though, he couldn’t get far.”

Lance, Hunk and Matt get teary eyed and crowd around Keith to hug the dog, but before Keith can make an escape the police pull up. They question the group about what they were doing, when they found the body, and collect their information in case they need to ask more questions.

“Oh, one final thing...the dog…?” An officer asks, “We can take it to the shelter in town-”

“We’re taking it.” Keith and Pidge answer immediately.

“It, um...I mean unless someone claims him. We’ll take him.” Pidge says and the cop shrugs.

“This man has no family, he was a local vagrant. The dog is all yours.” He and his partner follow the undertaker as they head off with the body to the morgue.

“So….we have a dog…?” Keith looks to Pidge, who shrugs. 

“Guess so.”

“You technically found him, so I guess you can name him.”

Pidge scoffs, “Like you had a choice.” She looks at the dirty ball of fur in Keith’s arms, it’s bright hazel eyes looking up at her, “I’ll name you...Rover.”

Keith groans, “Seriously? Rover?”

Matt sighs, “Did you forget the hamster she had when she was a kid name Hammy?”

“ _ Ugh _ , Pidge,  _ why _ ? Hasn’t he already had a tough enough life?” Keith adds and Pidge ignores him.

“I wonder how old he is.” She muses and Shiro places a hand on her shoulder.

“We’ll get a better idea when we clean him up.” He looks over to Lance, “Are we all set?”

The teenager just smiles, “Yeah, we hit all the places I wanted to. Besides, this poor puppy definitely takes priority.” He smirks at Pidge, “Even if he does have a stupid fucking name.”

“Wait…” Hunk frowns, “Does our hotel allow pets?”

Keith easily shoves the small dog in his hoodie, “What they don’t know can’t hurt them.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...yeah. I'm really sorry it took so long, and that this chapter is kind of shit. I needed to get through this one to get to the one I wanted to do. Anyways, very sorry about how long it took. My mom stayed at my house for a while, so I didn't get the chance to touch this, then right after she left my friend's friend found abandoned kittens behind his house in the woods and I'm kind of the animal expert in town so I took them in to foster. They were 3 weeks old when I got them, I had them for 5 weeks, and they are now happy and healthy in their new home. (I am also a registered kitten foster mother with a local organization now, so that's cool. I'll be specializing in orphaned kittens) I couldn't write when I had them bc of the care they needed and then as they got older they were just super clingy lol. (My life is so chaotic oml)
> 
> ANYWAYS I really hope it doesn't take 2 months to make a new chapter but I don't dare promise anything. Thank you all so much for your sweet comments and reviews and being so understanding about the long breaks. I'm so happy so many people enjoy this story and stick around through my bullshit.


	20. Lance Discovers What’s Underneath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night ends with a clean dog, clean beds, and Keith and Lance getting some dirt on each other.

 

  
“Alright, get the camera out Hunk! The Ghoul Crew needs to be filmed cleaning this puppy!” Lance exclaims as Keith and Pidge get the water ready, the latter practically in the former’s lap so they can both be cuddling the dog.

It’s….It’s a little weird.

Cute.

But weird.

“Ghoul crew my _ASS_.” Pidge yells from the bathroom, “With you two idiots being the stars it’s obviously Ghost Dorks.”

Lance gasps, offended to the core, “Excuse you, _little girl_ , I believe the only dork here is the idiot who thinks _Rover_ is an acceptable dog name!”

“It _is_.” Pidge hisses as Matt and Shiro come into their hotel room. Earlier that day the couple (Shiro) finally caved (to Matt and Keith) and got them their own room for the night. Right next to theirs.

Shiro has honestly been a lot more...accessible since Keith talked to him and Lance kind of wants to ask what he said but he’s fairly sure you have to be level Ten friend to unlock private brother arguments.

Lance is probably a level...two.

“Shiro! Ghost Dorks works for this group, right?” Pidge asks and Matt grins.

“With you in it? Absolutely.”

The appalled gasp that comes from the small girl moves Matt higher on Lance’s list of adults he wants to be like someday..

“I don’t remember asking _YOU_!”

“As Shiro’s boyfriend I have the right to speak on his behalf.”

Shiro rolls his eyes, heading into the bathroom with a bag. “I got the dog shampoo.”

“Awesome!” Pidge grabs it and looks it over, “Jesus, this is some fancy shit. How much did you pay for it?”

“More than all your hair care products combined.” Shiro grins.

“To be fair, more than two dollars is pretty normal for pet shampoo.” Matt teases, earning himself a large splash in the face when he enters the bathroom.

Lance and Hunk decide to wait on the beds for now. “So how are we gonna wash him?”

“He looks terrified.” Shiro observes as the fuzzy ball of dirt trembles beneath Keith and Pidge’s hands.

“Someone will have to go in with him.” Pidge decides, handing the dog to Keith before standing up and grabbing the hem of her shirt.

“Whoa there!” Keith quickly reaches up and keeps her shirt where it is, _thank god._ “You are keeping your clothes on. Lance is right, this would be great to put on youtube, but no one here wants you in your underwear all over the internet.”

Pidge scowls at him for a moment before letting out a heavy sigh, “I _guess_ you have a point. So who goes in? Shiro, maybe? You know _the real fanservice_?”

Keith rolls his eyes, “Shiro can’t get his right arm wet, and it isn’t exactly a comfort to a terrified dog.” He sighs heavily and stands up, handing Pidge the dog. “I guess I’ll do it.”

“ **_WHAT_ ** !?” Lance shrieks, flailing a little on the bed for reasons he can’t exactly describe. All he knows is Keith being in his underwear is _almost_ as bad as Pidge in hers. Definitely for different reasons, though. To his horror, Keith is fucking _half naked_ before Lance can even emotionally prepare himself and he has to use all of his willpower not to ogle the idiot’s annoyingly fit body. This is bullshit.

“Nice undies.” Hunk teases and Lance glances quickly to see Keith’s bright red boxers covered in motorcycles and almost immediately the flustered feeling is gone as he bursts out laughing.

“ _Looking good, Keith_!” He cackles as Keith gets into the tub, sending him a dirty look.

“Shut up.” The walking mullet grumbles before putting the dog in his lap.

“Here, you take the camera.” Hunk says, turning it on and handing it to Lance, “I want in on the puppy cleaning.”

Lance wants to say no for a second, but decides better when he realizes that puppy cleaning would mean getting _way too close_ to a wet, practically naked, Keith’s body. Which is basically the biggest fucking no _ever_. He gets closer as everyone prepares and begins to film the dirty dog in Keith’s lap, a trail of dirt already forming around it in the water much to the mullet’s evident disgust.

Everyone else puts some shampoo in their hands as Keith holds the puppy and Shiro holds the shower head with his left hand, rinsing after they all work out some dirt.

“I’m sooo glad you went in instead of me now.” Pidge grins, earning an unamused look from Keith.

“Shut up, you little gremlin.”

“At least I’m not covered in dirt.”

Keith shrugs as he gets sprayed in the face by his brother, “What the-!?”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to.” Shiro apologizes, genuinely, and Keith grumbles under his breath as he pushes his bangs out of his eyes.

It takes Lance a full minute to realize he’s recording Keith’s face and not the dog.

Soon enough, thankfully, they have the dog cleaned up. Turns out it’s _not_ brown. The dog is a light greyish with black markings.

“What...is it?” Hunk asks and Keith smiles at the clean puppy in his arms.

“He’s a blue merle pomeranian. Looks about six weeks old.” Keith frowns, “And malnourished.”

“He’ll need to go to the vet.” Pidge agrees, taking the dog in a plush towel and drying him off.

“We kinda figured it was a puppy from its size, so we got him some puppy food.” Shiro says and Matt nods.

“And, equally as important, puppy pads.”

Pidge frowns at the puppy in her hands, “I wonder how much the vet will cost..”

“We’ll take him tomorrow.” Matt says, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her in, “Consider it our treat.”

Pidge grins at the camera, “You guys see this? The Ghost Dorks have a blue merle pomeranian! Expect Rover to show up way more!”

Keith looks at her confused, “What about houses that don’t allow dogs?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it!” She decides and even Lance knows that means she’s gonna sneak him in.

“Hey, wait!” Lance glares, “I told you we’re the Ghoul Crew! Who the fuck calls themselves Ghost Dorks!?”

“Dorks that hunt ghosts.” Pidge grins, “Wanna arm wrestle for it?”

“You bet your ass I do!” Lance shoves the camera at Hunk, “You take this, I have a score to settle! Whoever wins gets to choose, no take backs!” He says, rolling up his sleeves as he meets Pidge on one of the beds. They have Matt bring over a little TV tray for their table and begin.

To Lance’s surprise, Pidge is strong.

Like, scary strong for such a tiny thing.

Where the fuck is it coming from? He’s literally never seen muscles on her.

He’s worried, briefly, that he might lose, and finds himself secretly relieved when they tie.

“That’s what you get for underestimating her.” Matt says proudly, “Shiro and Keith have dragged us poor unassuming Holt siblings to the gym so often that now we’re both pretty damn strong.”

Lance sighs, “Nothing got solved, though.”

Pidge looks to the camera, “Should we leave it up to the fans? Ghoul crew of Ghost dorks, which is it!? Leave your choice in the comments!” She says before motioning for Hunk to turn it off.

“They’re gonna choose mine.” Lance says, “It’s cooler.”

“Which is precisely why they won’t chose it. Nothing about you is cool.” Pidge teases before getting up and plopping down next to Keith so she can pet a now sleeping Rover.

“Ghoul crew is just as nerdy.” Keith points out, ignoring the dark look Lance gives him.

“ _How. Dare._ ”

“Welp, on that note, we’re gonna head to bed.” Matt says, quickly grabbing up Shiro’s hand, “See you in the morning~! Don’t be too afraid if you hear something go bump in the night.”

“Knowing you two are in the next room, I will absolutely be afraid if something goes bump in the night.” Pidge grumbles and Keith goes pale.

Matt smirks, “Y-”

“Nope, no,” Shiro covers Matt’s mouth and begins to drag him out of the room, “We’re going _to sleep_ now.”

Matt wrestles his hand off with a shit eating grin, “ _We’re not going to sleep.”_ He whispers loudly, enjoying the scandalized look on his boyfriend’s face.

“ _MATT!”_ Shiro yells, bright red before getting him out and slamming the door shut behind him.

The room is pretty quiet when they leave, an awkward silence coming over all of them before Keith hands Pidge the sleeping puppy and goes towards the bathroom.

“Awwww, puppy Keith needs a bath now~” Pidge teases, earning her a middle finger as the door closes, “I’ll be sure to send Lance in to help you with those _hard_ to reach places!”

“PIDGE!” Lance exclaims, scandalized, “I am not some piece of meat for you to throw at that unruly puppy of yours!”

Pidge looks him over, slowly, before smirking, “You sure seem like it.”

“ _Pidge, please_.” Hunk begs from next to Lance on their bed.

“Fine, fine, I’ll stop.” Pidge grins, holding the now dry Rover up, “Now enjoy the cute fluffy pom!”

Lance and Hunk’s eyes widen in awe. He’s never seen something so small and fluffy. It’s like a big fluffy cotton ball. “ _Dios mio_.” His eyes narrow on Pidge, “Please do not call something so cute by something so stupid.”

“I can call him Chip?” She offers and Lance dies a little inside.

“This poor, poor baby.”

Soon enough Keith is out and they put something on TV to fall asleep to.

Except Lance can’t sleep. He’s not tired for some reason and can’t stop thinking about the night they’ve had. The mining town itself was terrifying on it’s own, but to find that poor little dog, stuck with a man who was dead for god knows how long, he has so many questions.

Did this man take it from it’s mom? Was the mother dead? Were there others from the litter who died?

Maybe the local shelters found the mom.

He pulls out his phone and begins to search nearby shelter sites, facebook pet pages, everything he can think of because _apparently_ sleep isn’t coming until he does.

It’s been about half an hour and he has gone through five pet pages on FB for locals selling or buying them, he’s trudged through the skeeviness that is Craigslist and has found nothing (and regretted it entirely because at first it was just on Community and not specifically pets and _dear god_ he thought the sex adds on there were supposed to be gone).

He’s a little relieved not to find anything on those pages, and decides now is the time to hit up the non-sketchy places; the animal rescues.

The room is dead quiet as he continues his search, lost in it until he hears a quiet voice.

“Rover there is no physical way to get closer to me _please_ stop trying to shove your face in my mouth.” Keith mumbles, but his voice is clear and devoid of any hints he’s slept at all in this time.

“Puppy keeping you up?” Lance asks quietly and Keith groans in defeat, sitting up with the small thing now in his lap.

“...I guess…?” Keith looks at the ball of fluff in question, like that hadn't occurred to him in the last 2 hours. “Guess I’m not used to having something all over me and pawing at me while I’m trying to sleep.”

Lance silently takes a moment to thank _every god_ that Pidge and Hunk are asleep for that.

“So….why are you up?” Keith asks and Lance laughs a little.

“He’s keeping me up, too, in a way, I guess.” He holds up his phone and explains what he’s been doing for the past half hour and Keith looks genuinely intrigued.

“So you haven’t found anything?”

“No, I haven’t found _any_ pomeranians locally.”

“You know he was a bum, they could be from a ways away.”

Lance sighs, “Of course.”

“We can search it more tomorrow on the ride home. No one’s going anywhere tonight.” Keith points out, handing Rover to Lance across the small bit of carpet between the twin beds, “Besides, judging by how disgusting he was when we got him, I would bet good money he found Rover as a very young baby. Probably used what little money he could find on puppy formula and dog food.” He points out with a sad smile on his face as Rover licks Lance’s hand, “He did his best to help a fellow creature in need.”

Lance swallows hard, but cannot fight back some tears for the poor struggling man and his loyal puppy. “God damnit, Keith!”

“Wha-? La-Lance are you crying!?”

“ _Why do you think_!? That’s the kind of story you find on Facebook, but it’s supposed to have a happy ending for them both!”

Keith shrugs, “Sorry, this is how the world normally works. Homeless people rarely get happy endings, and their good deeds go unnoticed. At least Rover made it out alive. He’ll have a great life with all of us looking out for him, so that man’s efforts were not wasted. We’ll always remember what he did for Rover, tha-...you’re drying aga-dude, do you need a tissue or something?”

 _“I hate you so much right now_.” Lance hisses as he takes a tissue from Keith.

“Wha-? I thought I was helping!” The confused boy exclaims, earnestly trying his best and genuinely confused by Lance’s reaction. It’s endearing in a way.

In a really fucking annoying way.

“ _Ugh_ , you have _so much_ to learn about human emotions.” Lance grumbles and Keith huffs.

“You say that like I’m not human.”

“Clearly you are some sort of alien hybrid.”

“That’s the dumbest thing you have said...in the last….foouuurrr hours maybe?” Keith says, unsure of his estimate.

Which, come on, _rude_.

“So tell me, if you are fully human, what do _you_ usually do when you are upset?” Lance asks and the boy across from him thinks for a minute.

“Depends but usually lay in bed and stare blankly at the wall. Which I suppose is odd and your way is much more normal, right?”

“Right! You are supposed to indulge in all your guilty pleasures when you are upset!”

Keith lets out a small laugh, “I find it hard to believe the guy who shamelessly hunts ghosts has any _guilty_ pleasures.”

“Of course I do. Everyone does.” Lance says proudly before realizing _his_ idea of _guilty pleasures_ and Keith’s might be vastly different. “I-I’m talking about, like, television stuff by the way. Not, you know. _You know._ ”

“Kinks?” Keith offers and Lance’s face goes bright red, making him laugh a little “I know you’re not talking about those, Lance.”

“G-good! Just wanted to make sure we were on the same page!”

“Just because I hang out with Pidge all the time doesn’t mean my head is in the gutter like hers.” He looks to Lance with a mischievous glint in his eye, “So what shows does our avid ghost hunter feel embarrassed about enjoying?”

Lance blushes more, “Y-you can’t tell anyone.” He says, “Is Pidge definitely asleep?”

Keith raises a brow but turns to look at the girl behind him and nods, “Yeah, she’s out.”

Lance stretches some to peer over Keith at the girl, “How do you _know_?”

“Well, I mean, she doesn’t snore like you and Hunk, but when she is deep asleep her breathing is a very specific way. I don’t know how to explain it, but she is 100% asleep.”

“What if she’s faking?”

Keith laughs, “She’s tried to mimic it while pretending to sleep, trust me _I know_ the difference.”

Lance smiles a little at that, “You guys are really close, huh?” He asks as he cuddles more with Rover, “That’s why you didn’t put up a fight over who truly owned Rover, huh? Even though it’s _painfully_ obvious you want him just as much.”

“There’s certain things I can do that Pidge can’t, no matter how hard she tries, which she has she just doesn’t like to admit it.” Keith says and Lance looks at him confused, “One day I will find a guy, fall in love, and move in with him to start a life together, just like her brother did. When that happens Pidge will truly be on her own, fending for herself. You’ll find someone, Hunk will find someone, and I mean that’s basically it for her friends. Besides Allura and Romelle from home, but they are already a couple. She can’t form that romantic bond, no matter how many times she tries, no matter how much she likes the person it never takes that next step. Her deepest bonds are with gadgets and animals.”

Lance smiles at him, “So you are making sure she has someone when-wait...are you...do you already like someone?”

Keith’s eyes widen and there’s an awkward silence for a full fucking minute before he sighs, “Yeah, I guess I do. I’m not going to...pursue it though. Too much of a hassle.”

Lance gasps, “But! But you have to! You’ve had such shit luck in relationships you should absolutely go for it!”

“No, I’m not ready for anything yet anyways. Besides, things are finally good with this person I’m not gonna fuck that up. Not worth it.” Keith shrugs and Lance sighs.

“I guess if you really don’t want to…”

“That’s right, don’t think I forgot from the change of subject, Lance.”

Lance pales a little, “F-forgot…? Forgot what? Who was changing the subject? Oh, hey while we’re at it, what did you and your brother talk about?” He asks, pretty much jokingly but hey if Keith answers then awesome. If he doesn’t it at least buys him a little more time.

“Ooohhhhh no, Keith’s honesty time is over, Lance. It’s your turn. I asked a question, I expect the answer.” Keith teases and Lance buries his face in his hands and whines.

“You’re _terrible_. Humans don’t treat their friends this way!”

“Then I guess literally none of us are humans.”

Lance laughs a little before glaring at Keith, “You tell no one.”

“I tell no one.” He repeats, like it’s a vow, because _damnit it is._ Pidge can **never** know.

“You can’t drop me as a friend because of it, either.” Lance adds, “I’ve latched on, you have me there for life.”

Keith’s smirk drops, now a little concerned, but nods, “Yeah, alright.”

“Okay! So, like, you know...telenovelas, right?” Lance asks and Keith nods, “Okay, so, I’m kind of following, like, five of them. Since I was six. Mom used to watch them and I got into them and she dropped them but damnit I can’t, _I love them_.” He groans, hiding his face again, “I’m so invested in everything in them, they taught me more Spanish than my own family did.” After the admission he peeks through his hands and blushes at the sight of the fond smile now on Keith’s face. His heart plummets down to his stomach when their eyes actually meet, but Keith doesn’t say anything.

“I-I guess since you’re pretty much unfazed by that...um...my _other_ one is...you know...those made for TV movies about killers?” He asks nervously and Keith thinks for a second.

“Umm...all I can think of are the Lifetime ones…”

“Yeah, those, I love those.” Lance admits, “Sooo much, Keith. So much. I have a secret stash of DVDs for some of them that lifetime made in like the 90s. I think some are even from the 80s. _Keith_ , it’s so fucking _bad_. I’m obsessed.” He lets out a heavy sigh and looks over to Keith sheepishly, “Okay, you can laugh.”

“I want to, I really do,” Keith admits, “But I feel like my guilty pleasure is worse…”

“Ohhh?” Lance asks, inching closer with a devilish smirk, “And what would that be?”

“Ooohhhh no, I already opened up enough tonight.”

“You have to, Keith! It’s bonding! _Bonding!_ ”

Keith groans and buries his face in his hands, “Alright, but just...remember...I don’t really _watch_ this movie...so much as I put it on to fall asleep. I have it in my netflix queue to help me nap, that is _it_.”

“Uhuh, uhuh, come on. Tell the class.” Lance teases, enjoying the sight of Keith practically folding in on himself in shame.

“I...I watch Pocahontas 2... _a lot_ .” Keith admits quietly and _holy shit_ that is _so much worse_ than he was expecting.

“ _Oh my god,”_ Lance breathes, “You watch _that_!?”

“For naps, Lance! For naps!” Keith exclaims, “I know it’s terrible, and it’s not even historically accurate and I never stay awake long enough to even see her make it to London, but it’s my go-to for naps. It’s kind of nostalgic and nice but not _good_ so I don’t feel the need to stay up and watch.”

Lance listens to the boy try to excuse his way out of it, and he can’t help the shit eating grin on his face as he does, “So just how far do you usually make it before falling asleep?”

Keith shrugs, “Honestly? I rarely make it past the first song. I think the farthest I have lasted was when John Rolfe meets Pocahontas and they kinda butt heads, but I was pretty far gone by that point so I didn’t _see_ it, I just _heard_ it.”

“Have you ever watched the whole thing?” Lance asks, cooking up an idea.

“Seriously? I didn't even know it existed until I saw it on Netflix. I used to be so obsessed with the original when I was little, I even went as Pocahontas for Halloween when I was 5, 6, and 7, so I tried it...but I fell asleep almost immediately.” Keith explains and Lance’s eyes light up.

“You went as Pocahontas for Halloween? Oh my god _tell me_ you have photos.”

“No, Lance, don’t you dare.”

“Oh don’t worry, I know not to go to you for it. I’ll get them, though.”

The raven haired boy crosses his arms and smirks at Lance, “You think Shiro will give you that?”

Lance smirks back, “I don’t need _Shiro_ to. Not when I have _Matt_.”

The look of horror on Keith’s face makes it all worth it. “Lance, Lance no. Let’s be reasonable here.”

“Oh, also, free up some time when we get back because you and I are gonna watch the _whole_ second Pocahontas movie.” Lance grins, “No sleep allowed.”

Keith looks confused, and _extremely_ conflicted, “I...are we…? Are Pidge and Hunk gonna watch, too?”

“Nope, just us.” Lance says, “I would rather die than let Pidge know I watched that.”

“O-oh…” Keith’s voice kinda squeaks, "Th-ok, that’s...um...ok...I’ll be free Wednesday night around 5. They work until 8, so…?”

“Sounds good. I get off work around 5 on Wednesday, too. We’ll watch it at my place.” Lance decides and Keith raises a brow.

“Why your place?”

“You'll be less likely to sleep on my couch. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a late night text to send Matt.”

“Lance, NO! Don’t be that guy!”

 

((Rover cleaned up))   ((Not my dog. I have two poms but they aren't Merle. I'm not rich, people. He's from a breeder's page here: https://www.parkerspreciouspoms.com/pompuppyuglies.htm))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A friend who reads this and I are disagreeing on their name. Ghoul Crew of Ghost Dorks? I vote the former, she votes the ladder. Tell me your pick and it'll be what they refer to themselves as! Both are excellent choices, and accurate.
> 
> Merry after the holidays~ well I mean New Years is next week but like eh. Honestly the holidays meant jack shit to me this year and now I'm moving on the 8th so S T R E S S. Bt it's a cheaper place so I can buy myself a house in a couple of years. Wooo  
> Anyways, here's this.  
> I was gonna have Rover either look like my puppy Pidge, or my new pom Bijou, but Pidge is a sable pom and Bijou is a black and tan female so neither really seemed like Rover to me. ((If you wanna see pics of them lemme know I will gladly add them at the end of a chapter bc I'm one of THOSE pet owners.)) Then I decided, obviously, it has to be a merle pom. I mean come on.  
> It's so obvious.  
> Anyways if you are readin these notes I want you to know I read and fucking live for all of the reviews, I'm just a lazy bastard who doesn't respond right away. But really thanks for putting up with my shit.


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